Does anyone else hate ice breakers in meetings?

[asblindasabat]

I bloody hate them. Sometimes I just don’t know how to answer them. For example, “what are your dislikes?” - I can’t think of anything appropriate to respond to that in a professional environment - saying I dislike fake people probably wouldn’t look to good!

I also hate “what are your favourite movies?” - I don’t really watch movies so I couldn’t tell you the names of most of them and it really makes me look boring!

anyone else just hate them?

Pointless and useless. I'll actively avoid training courses where there's a likelihood they're do ice breakers. I prefer the training providers who spend the full time on actually doing what they're there for, i.e. to train people.

Yes I agree Mumsnet users are particularly grumpy. Just look at the threads saying something like 'AIBU for wanting to stay at home rather than socialising' ... and then the sheer volume of people jumping on saying how going out is over rated, that being at home is the best and how introverted they are (but using as an excuse to not do anything).

...and then there are the threads where people say they are lonely and have no friends! And that they hate inviting people over for dinner etc etc.
There are good ice breakers and bad ice breakers. There are some people who love to hate organised fun and see the worst in everything. And then there are others who give things a go. Just because you hate something doesn't mean that other people don't, or that being out of your comfort zone isn't good for you.

Genuinely introverted people can suffer genuine anxiety in such situations, which can, yes, cause panic attacks. Surely all attendees of a training course should be free to just be trained, rather than suffer stress/anxiety of having to perform in a pantomime? People who are anxious/stressed aren't going to be receptive to the training and probably won't benefit, if they spend the entire course being stressed about what the next pathetic "team building" gimmick is going to be!

Ice Breakers are aimed at extroverts/attention seekers - the ones who'd "make friends" anyway, and do nothing at all for the shy/introverted ones who presumably they're aimed at.

Nothing to do with grumpiness at all.

I disagree. And MN members aren’t all grumpy they just know BS when they see it.
I am not an introvert but hate forced ‘ fun’ when it’s not necessary.

I have no doubt some introverted people have panic attacks and debilitating anxiety. That must be awful for them.
BUT there are plenty of people who don't. And it is those people who I think benefit from pushing themselves a bit more out of their comfort zone.

But then, every bloke in the room clearly thought he was going to sound like a right bastard now if he didn't say his kids. So the rest of the ice breaker was just 20 blokes all giving the same answer!

I love this - would have been great if someone had just gone ‘hi, I’m Mike, also have three kids. Best gift? Probably my universal remote I’ve got at home.’

But it doesn’t push you out of your comfort zone to spend 30 precious minutes saying ‘hi in Grace, my favourite biscuit is a hobnob and if I was an animal I think I’d be a cat so I could still live inside’ followed by 30 other people saying a version of the same! It just wastes your time. You get nothing from it at all. And almost all training/uni/courses etc have group work involved, so most competent adults can manage to talk about something relevant and useful during that.

Why do people need to be pushed out of their comfort zone at all attending a course or training session? 🤷‍♀️
Why make people feel uncomfortable?

A good training course might expand your 'comfort zone' - that's much better than 'pushing you out' of it.

I guess it all depends what the course is about. Generally where I work it’s learning something new that’s about to be implemented. So not personal development etc

Yes, I suppose if it’s a personal development course or even something like public speaking this type of thing. But surely if it’s a first aid course or a creative writing workshop you should be expanding your comfort zone in first aid or creative writing by learning more about those topics. Not learning what 30 people’s favourite biscuit might be.

I actually forgot my job title at the last one! 🤦🏻‍♀️ I just went "I'm Soundsystem and I work at Blah, I'm the... erm..." until the person next to me helpfully told everyone else what it is I do!

I absolutely do hate any ice breaking games or team building, however I will also admit that if done well they do work to bring a group together.

I quite like icebreakers, as contrasted with: talk about the weather, how your journey was, have you got kids etc it either avoids those dull topics or let’s you learn something meaningful. I once facilitated a conference where I was told not to go round the room asking everyone to say their name, only to be asked by the participants TO do that as two days into it they still weren’t sure who everyone was. It also helps if you are facilitating / teaching to identify who is in the group and start to tailor the session to them which is the whole point of in person sessions otherwise you could just watch a video or read a book.

Yep, I agree. If it is a training course where you just need to learn something new, then it's pointless having an ice breaker - just get on with the training. But if it's a workshop where everyone in the room has been invited to work through an issue together (most workshops are and should be interactive - otherwise it's just a lecture or presentation). In which case - everyone there needs to feel confident enough to contribute. Otherwise it is dominated by a few. Ice breakers - when done well - shouldn't last long and are designed to give everyone a voice and a level playing field before moving onto the important stuff.
I agree there are crap ice breakers. But not all are. Obviously they work best when there are under 10 in a group.

Even seeing the word ‘workshop’ makes me think it’s going to be awful.
We had those in my previous job. Everyone hated them and the icebreakers that went with them. Some were even residential which was even more excruciating.
I was glad to move on.

It's normal to hate icebreakers. It doesn't make people grumpy, just sane.

I always feel more awkward after ice breakers, not less. The best training course I've had was the one where the trainer said that he wouldn't be doing any.

@SoupySoup

In which case - everyone there needs to feel confident enough to contribute.

But do ice-breakers achieve that? Does the shy/introvert suddenly start feeling confident enough to contribute just because they've told everyone their name, their dog's name, their favourite biscuit, etc?

Certainly on courses I've been on, it's not worked like that at all. The quieter ones remain quiet, generally until they're involved in something relevant, like the actual content of the training course where they're probably already more confident if it's "their" subject, i.e. to do with their own job etc. Introverts etc can become a lot more talkative etc talking about their own subject/their own job, etc rather than random nonsense!

I would be very worried if I knew someone who liked icebreakers. I would have to reconsider our friendship. 😁

Another one of my pet hates is when the facilitator says “let’s everyone stand up and get some energy in the room!” This has the immediate effect of making me focus on how much I want to sit down, and how much I resent the facilitator, and completely disengage from the task in hand.

Meeting of professional people :
"What kind of biscuit are you ?"
Me :thinking -"anything with two fingers now Fuck off !"
Then spend next five minutes panicking about what the hell is am actually going to say

Seriously though how do you even answer ‘if you were a biscuit what would you be?’ . It reminds me of inane interviews with boy bands in Smash Hits in the 80s.

I regularly run a 2-day long training course and at the beginning I say ‘I’m not doing any sort of ice-breaker because I hate doing them myself, so instead we’ll have a break in an hour and all chat over coffee and hopefully get to know each other’ and it always gets a positive mention in my feedback forms!!

That’s great. I’d give excellent feedback too. Get on with it then have a break and a chat. Perfect.

We're hosting an event next week and starting it with coffee and an opportunity to chat informally so people can introduce themselves before it starts. We're also giving everyone lanyards so no one has to remember anyone's names. Hopefully this will all go down better than ice breakers!