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Original poster

Does anyone else hate ice breakers in meetings?

201 replies

asblindasabat · 26/10/2022 17:24

I bloody hate them. Sometimes I just don’t know how to answer them. For example, “what are your dislikes?” - I can’t think of anything appropriate to respond to that in a professional environment - saying I dislike fake people probably wouldn’t look to good!

I also hate “what are your favourite movies?” - I don’t really watch movies so I couldn’t tell you the names of most of them and it really makes me look boring!

anyone else just hate them?

OP posts:
TheBulletThatMissed · 27/10/2022 14:12

bowlingalleyblues · 27/10/2022 13:19

I quite like icebreakers, as contrasted with: talk about the weather, how your journey was, have you got kids etc it either avoids those dull topics or let’s you learn something meaningful. I once facilitated a conference where I was told not to go round the room asking everyone to say their name, only to be asked by the participants TO do that as two days into it they still weren’t sure who everyone was. It also helps if you are facilitating / teaching to identify who is in the group and start to tailor the session to them which is the whole point of in person sessions otherwise you could just watch a video or read a book.

Going round the room to give your name, department etc. is not an ‘ice breaker’. That’s just common sense introductions and unlikely to freak anyone out/bore them particularly.

Ice breaker is “let’s find out who was born the furthest away and all get in a line…”

Kanaloa · 27/10/2022 14:20

Sparklingbrook · 27/10/2022 13:57

Seriously though how do you even answer ‘if you were a biscuit what would you be?’ . It reminds me of inane interviews with boy bands in Smash Hits in the 80s.

I always remember going for an interview where I was asked what animal I’d be and why. Can’t remember what I answered, but another girl in the group said ‘I’d be a bee because I’m always working and busy’ and that was a really popular answer judging by their reactions. So maybe for biscuits you’d say ‘I’m a four finger Kit Kat because you always get a bit extra with me.’

EBearhug · 27/10/2022 14:26

I don't mind the sort where you say your name and a brief summary of why you're there. The last first aider course I went on, it was relevant to know that one woman worked with a lot of chemicals, and another worked in the banana warehouse (gases).

My idea for departmental Top Trumps was censored. To be fair, it would probably have been more divisive than uniting, but it would have been fun... at least for me... (Also, it turns out that none of my non-British colleagues know what Top Trumps is.)

I did once take part on a call where we were meeting another department and we went round the room, which started with, "I'm John, I've worked for the company since God was a lad, my background is in operations, and I'm married with three children." It worked round the room, and each one mentioned their technical experience, and then, "I'm married/planning to marry next year, no children yet/two children," etc. It got to me, and I gave my technical background and said, "and that's it," despite being tempted to have recently moved into a free live commune or something. I later had a rant at the manager about inclusively and heteronormative expectations. If anyone on that call was gay, I don't think it created an environment where they'd have felt safe to say so.

Isthisexpected · 27/10/2022 14:32

Going round the room to give your name, department etc. is not an ‘ice breaker’. That’s just common sense introductions.

^ absolutely. I can't believe some professionals can't face this!

EBearhug · 27/10/2022 14:40

It's often combined with an icebreaker question, though.

"Hi, I'm Emma, and I'm a Unix sys admin. I'm not any sort of biscuit..."

Kazzyhoward · 27/10/2022 14:42

Isthisexpected · 27/10/2022 14:32

Going round the room to give your name, department etc. is not an ‘ice breaker’. That’s just common sense introductions.

^ absolutely. I can't believe some professionals can't face this!

Has any "professional" on this thread ever said that they can't face that? This thread is about ice-breakers not basic introductions. It's the ice-breaking task nonsense that causes anxiety.

PriamFarrl · 27/10/2022 14:46

SoupySoup · 27/10/2022 12:59

I have no doubt some introverted people have panic attacks and debilitating anxiety. That must be awful for them.
BUT there are plenty of people who don't. And it is those people who I think benefit from pushing themselves a bit more out of their comfort zone.

See. This is the kind of shit I hate. Why is it acceptable to tell people that they have to do something they don’t want to do because it’s been deemed good for them by someone else? Just because I am perfectly happy with who I am and how I interact with people why does someone else who doesn’t like it get to dictate how I behave?

evilharpy · 27/10/2022 14:50

I don't mind going round the room doing the "I'm Harpy, I've worked here for X years and my background is in Y area of expertise" thing as that can be genuinely relevant for a trainer knowing what level to pitch something.

I'm not introverted but I still cringe very hard when asked for two truths and a lie, or what kind of biscuit/animal I am.

Love the idea of departmental top trumps though!

PriamFarrl · 27/10/2022 14:51

Sparklingbrook · 27/10/2022 13:26

Even seeing the word ‘workshop’ makes me think it’s going to be awful.
We had those in my previous job. Everyone hated them and the icebreakers that went with them. Some were even residential which was even more excruciating.
I was glad to move on.

I agree. If the word ‘workshop’ is involved but no power tools or even a vice then I’m not having it.

ShamedBySiri · 27/10/2022 15:29

I did once take part on a call where we were meeting another department and we went round the room, which started with, "I'm John, I've worked for the company since God was a lad, my background is in operations, and I'm married with three children." It worked round the room, and each one mentioned their technical experience, and then, "I'm married/planning to marry next year, no children yet/two children," etc. It got to me, and I gave my technical background and said, "and that's it," despite being tempted to have recently moved into a free live commune or something. I later had a rant at the manager about inclusively and heteronormative expectations. If anyone on that call was gay, I don't think it created an environment where they'd have felt safe to say so.

It would also be rather grim for anyone struggling with infertility or other family issues. Basically Bridget Jones' smug married dinner party only at work and with no alcohol 🍷

TheBulletThatMissed · 27/10/2022 15:34

evilharpy · 27/10/2022 14:50

I don't mind going round the room doing the "I'm Harpy, I've worked here for X years and my background is in Y area of expertise" thing as that can be genuinely relevant for a trainer knowing what level to pitch something.

I'm not introverted but I still cringe very hard when asked for two truths and a lie, or what kind of biscuit/animal I am.

Love the idea of departmental top trumps though!

2 truths and 1 lie:

I hate ice breakers
I hate Ice breakers even more than when I said it the first time
I love ice breakers

Lottapianos · 27/10/2022 15:35

Oh good god Shamed, I had similar. A training session at work where the trainers introduced themselves with 'Im John, I've worked at X for 15 years, blah blah blah, I've been married to Debbie for 25 years and we have 2 kids and 3 grandkids'. And nearly every other bugger in the room did the same! 25 sets of bragging about husbands and wives and kids and grandkids - it took nearly half an hour. Such a waste of bloody time. I said all this in more professional language on the evaluation 😁

ShamedBySiri · 27/10/2022 15:40

I guess one has to be grateful they don't all start showing pictures Lottapianos ! It could be SOoo much worse.

Lottapianos · 27/10/2022 15:41

Jesus, don't encourage them! 😁

SirChenjins · 27/10/2022 16:47

Isthisexpected · 27/10/2022 14:32

Going round the room to give your name, department etc. is not an ‘ice breaker’. That’s just common sense introductions.

^ absolutely. I can't believe some professionals can't face this!

I can’t believe some people don’t understand that a basic introduction isn’t the same as the icebreakers that are being referred to on this thread.

Here’s how it works-

Hi, I’m SirChenjin, I’m the senior accountant in the audit team - perfectly normal, reasonable introduction.

Hi, I’m SirChenjin and the animal I most identify with is a dolphin because I’m family oriented, extremely intelligent and love swimming - stupid, pointless icebreaker.

Kite22 · 27/10/2022 19:33

Love them or let loathe them, they work! If you get everyone in the room to say something in the first 10 minutes - even if it's something stupid, or they hate it or its really cringy, they are much more likely to participate during the rest of the workshop. It means everyone has already been out of their comfort zone and so don't feel shy anymore. I know they're awkward but they do make a difference.

Says a trainer! How about actually taking on board the views of the participants?

I'm a trainer, and I'm with the majority here. Hate ice breakers. Would not inflict them on people. However, what we do in our training is make sure there are plenty of times during the day when people either have a task to do related to the training or down time to chat. There is no need to embarrass people when they are on a training course.

AnApparitionQuipped · 27/10/2022 19:49

Kanaloa · 26/10/2022 22:12

Going round in a circle saying ‘I’m Jane and I like pigs’ doesn’t get people engaged and talking. It’s just a time wasting exercise. And if they don’t know the topic by the third year of studying it then talking to them isn’t going to help me at all!

Show quote history

And the worst thing is that, for the duration of the course, you are characterised by whatever random thing you've said to shut them up. It's a small scale version of the aforementioned Jane telling her Auntie Vi she likes pigs on her fifth birthday, and by the age of 55 Auntie Vi is still sending her novelty pig notelets every Christmas.

snakeitoff · 27/10/2022 20:33

Tell us something about yourself that nobody else knows

Snugglemonkey · 27/10/2022 20:37

Hate them. I once had to do one where people all picked a piece of paper saying daddy, mummy or baby animal on it. You had to go around making your animal noise, find your family and get in a pile on the floor, daddy on the bottom, mummy on top, then baby. No need!!!!!

Lottapianos · 27/10/2022 20:53

'I once had to do one where people all picked a piece of paper saying daddy, mummy or baby animal on it. You had to go around making your animal noise, find your family and get in a pile on the floor, daddy on the bottom, mummy on top, then baby. No need!!!!!'

PLEASE be kidding! 🤦🏻‍♂️ Whoever came up with that sick idea needs locking up

CryCeratops · 27/10/2022 20:55

Snugglemonkey · 27/10/2022 20:37

Hate them. I once had to do one where people all picked a piece of paper saying daddy, mummy or baby animal on it. You had to go around making your animal noise, find your family and get in a pile on the floor, daddy on the bottom, mummy on top, then baby. No need!!!!!

😮 😮 😮 That sounds wildly inappropriate! And intensely uncomfortable at best, in more than one sense of the word.
There’s surely very few people who want to lie in a pile on the floor with 2 random people on a course!

ScreamingMeMe · 27/10/2022 20:56

SpringIntoChaos · 26/10/2022 21:42

I just refuse to participate...literally refuse 🤷‍♀️ I just say, nope, not doing this, I'll just drink my coffee and I'll join in again when this nonsense is all done! I'm 58 years old...I'm over this shit!

Nobody has made me do it yet 🤷‍♀️

Oh man I would LOVE to have the courage to do this.

Yes, I hate ice breakers, or any other kind of team-building "fun".

Sparklingbrook · 27/10/2022 21:00

Snugglemonkey · 27/10/2022 20:37

Hate them. I once had to do one where people all picked a piece of paper saying daddy, mummy or baby animal on it. You had to go around making your animal noise, find your family and get in a pile on the floor, daddy on the bottom, mummy on top, then baby. No need!!!!!

I would have walked at that point. That's a step too far!

Snugglemonkey · 27/10/2022 21:10

Lottapianos · 27/10/2022 20:53

'I once had to do one where people all picked a piece of paper saying daddy, mummy or baby animal on it. You had to go around making your animal noise, find your family and get in a pile on the floor, daddy on the bottom, mummy on top, then baby. No need!!!!!'

PLEASE be kidding! 🤦🏻‍♂️ Whoever came up with that sick idea needs locking up

It was 15 years ago and I am still traumatised! People found it funny and made me feel like a killjoy when I said it didn't feel v appropriate. Weirdest day ever.

Coconutcream123 · 27/10/2022 21:15

Ice breakers, team building, all that stuff is so cringe especially for the introverts.
Another one we used to have to do weekly was a check in, rate your mood out of 10 and explain why.... as if anyone would say oh yeah I am a 2, I am on the verge of a breakdown due to workload and could do without sitting in this pointless meeting for 2 hours.
All the confident sales people would give really long, elaborate answers, and then us shy people who don't open up to people about our personal feelings in a professional environment, ended up looking like boring weirdos who just gave a number and said, yeah im fine (thumbs up!).