What's it like to be really, really overweight?

[sloanedanger]

This isn't meant to be goady.

I have issues with binge eating and often have days weeks where I eat far too much - snacks mainly. I eat several packets of crisps on the trot, several biscuits. This has gotten so much worse since WFH, I graze from lunchtime onwards. I can follow a full day of eating, snacking and dinner with toast late night.

I enjoy desperately need it for my mental health exercise, mainly running, so I think decades of this together with fairly healthy meals day-to-day, not much alcohol and being quite tall have kept me from being too overweight, although at 5"7 I'm borderline (BMI is almost 25).

I often wonder, genuinely, what it must be like to just eat whatever you want, whenever you want, 24/7, without care at all for weight gain. I hate feeling heavy, which I really do at the moment; I feel bloated constantly, uncomfortable in my stomach, hate seeing myself naked in the mirror and my running has definitely slowed because I'm carrying a few extra lbs. But it's not enough to stop me binge snacking so I can see how easy it is to gain the weight if you also don't exercise and are more genetically dispositioned to it.

The thing that amazes me is the speed and ease with which weight goes on compared to the slog it is to lose it. It's always at least three times as long it seems and that makes you more likely to give up and eat and then the whole bloody cycle starts again.

Speak for yourself! No, this most certainly is not the case for everyone! I definitely do not over eat. I'm overweight due to my specific steroidal medication. We're not all overwaters

I’m a lifelong yo-yo dieter. I’m currently a healthy BMI and maintaining it with intermittent fasting, high protection low carb, no alcohol, no crap at all and regular exercise - any deviation from this, I gain weight.

When I’ve been fat - three meals a day, generally home cooked and healthy but big portions. Wine, lots of lovely wine. Chocolate in the evenings - share bag of buttons for example, or 2 regular size chocolate bars. No ability to regulate chocolate. Sadly.

6 weeks?????? My god. A baby's insides are nowhere near developed enough for solids at 6 weeks! You can’t even sit up straight at that age. I'm sorry but that's neglectful

I'm really overweight, BMI of 39. 18 years ago I had a BMI of 23.

I'm in a size 20-22. I'm tired all the time, everything hurts and I get hot whenever I do anything other than sit or lay down.

It's shit. I hate it. But I can't seem to do anything about it.

Also I don't seem to get noticed anymore. And I don't mean in a sexual way either, just in general. Fat women seem to be invisible. People treat us as if we are a bit thick, worthless and generally disposable

I also wonder what one eats to become so overweight. I have friends who are obese and they eat much less than me on meals out, or takeaway nights in.

I think meals out and takeaways are very deceptive. Now that they’ve started listing calories on restaurant menus, some meals are staggering. I took a photo of this menu the other night. The fried chicken version comes in at over 2,500. But even the grilled chicken version, which I imagine plenty of people would choose thinking it was fairly healthy and low calorie, is still over 2,100 calories. More than a woman’s entire recommended daily allowance in one not particularly fancy meal of grilled chicken, jacket potato, corn and gravy. I think there’s more value in asking slim people what they don’t eat rather than overweight people what they do, when things like this beggar the question why more people aren’t obese.

I was a slim child who had a mum who had a real complex about this. I became a chubby teen and then a very fat teen/adult. I was a size 22-24.

I ate a lot, in a very uncontrollable way. But in secret most of the time. I was desperately unhappy and food was like a drug to soothe myself, briefly. I also restricted a lot, which is a horrible, shameful-feeling cycle.

I lost 5 stone in my early 20s but then was stuck in a binge-restrict cycle for years. I finally healed my relationship with food when I became a parent. I was desperate not to damage my children in the way my mum had damaged me (and her mum had damaged her).

The Brain Over Binge book/podcast has already been mentioned on this thread but it honestly changed my life.

I would bet (a lot of money) that they snack and graze throughout the day as well as eating their main 3 meals.

I am size 24 and as you describe, my main meals are relatively healthy, good portion control, usually balanced meals.

What you don’t see is the constant nibbling and snacking! A biscuit or two here, a smoothie or hot chocolate there…
I also live a very sedentary life.

If I cut out my snacking habit I lose weight every time (without changing my meals).

As for what it feels like to be very big… I’m used to it. Times gave changed and getting larger clothes is not a problem so I often forget I am plus size.
I used to have loads of energy even as a big person but have found that age and weight don’t go well together. I foresee struggles ahead.

Agree with this 100%

I'm fat and I don't give a shit to be perfectly honest. I don't get tired or breathless and have no Physical Health Problems. I dress well and fully groomed each day and I'm certainly never short of male attention
. I've never been slim and believe me it did used to bother me very much so. However things have became far easier and enjoyable when I stopped letting the scales rule my life. Love and accept me for who i am or don't love me at all.
Im not going to sit here and say 'Its not my fault im fat nor will I apologize.
I'm just a freekin hungry Horace ill freely hold my hands up. 😂

@ComtesseDeSpair very good point actually, I remember being equally shocked a while ago about the calories in a pub portion of Hunters chicken. I rarely eat out and takeaways are a few times a year treat. This probably helps me counteract the binge snacking, although I would actually prefer to use those calories on eating out and takeaways rather than several packets of shit quavers a day!

I have an incredibly high BMI and diabetes. I'm currently recovering from binge eating disorder, I have lost a lot of weight so far but have a lot to go.

It's awful. My mobility is fucked. I am exhausted all the time. Prior to changing my diet I was constantly ill. I am made completely disabled by it and have little life. Mentally, I am completely controlled by food. I get sweaty in between my rolls, I couldn't wipe my arse at my highest weight, and I used to get sores a lot.

I cannot wait to lose the weight. This weight was brought on by an eating disorder which was triggered by the trauma of a miscarriage and an abusive relationship. I was average before. I'm looking forward to feeling better!

I do not feel full. I sometimes wish my tummy would stop grumbling as I do not want to eat but I end up with painful hunger pangs. When I was slim I put up with hunger pangs every day. When I have a cold my appetite reduces a lot and I have zero issues eating small mea

I’m 58, weigh 14 stone and am 5ft 4. I’m obese.

Until 20 years ago, I was 8 stone. Literally the same weight from about 15 to 38 years old.

I eat yoghurt and banana for breakfast, a standard sandwich for lunch and a normal evening meal including veg or salad. I have maybe one snack thing a day, sometimes not. I drink several cups of tea with 1 sugar. I sit on my obese arse all day (WFH). I cannot lose the weight without exercise, I know that as I’m really not overeating, but I need to exercise (but hate it and find it uncomfortable). I long to be a 10-12 again and not an obese size 18.

I was fit and slim until I was 35, then I had a disabled child. It’s no excuse, but I was far too exhausted to exercise, to cook properly or to give a shit about my appearance, and the weight went on gradually.
For me, it feels utterly soul destroying. I don’t socialise as I’m ashamed of how I look.

What's it like to be really, really overweight?

From a physical point of view, quite a bit harder than being not really, really overweight. If you go to the gym and lift weights, well that fat person who you are frowning at is carrying 60kg around with them all the time, every day and doing all the stuff you don't do at the gym whilst carrying that 60kg, they can't give it a wipe down and leave it.
I don't get ill as often as my much lighter colleagues, though that is probably down to genetics, we just don't get colds/sickness bugs/sore throats as a general rule, although maybe our excess fat cells eat the germs

After 10 years of being overweight, I have taken drastic action and managed to lose 75lbs in the past 4.5 months.

In answer to your question, what is it like to be fat, here are just some of the things I observed:

> excessively dry legs
> excessively cracked feet and dry heals
> increased frequency of skin infections and rashes under breasts, between stomach rolls and bikini line
> poor mental health - depression and anxiety
> over focus and excessive thinking regarding food, and repeated negative thoughts around eating and food - to detriment of your mental space being able to focus on other more positive goals / aspects of your life
> serious urinary incontinence - especially when coughing when sick over winter
> poor immune system. And you are more likely to fall sick over winter, and to stay sicker for longer
> poor skin healing
> increased rates of skin tags and more growth of raised moles
>!Insulin resistance and increased risk of pre diabetes or diabetes
> polycystic ovaries and/or PCOS
> thinner hair on head
> excess hair on face
> infertility
> irregular periods and more heavy periods
> Food cravings / sugar cravings because internal hormone balance is wrong
> Poor self esteem
> Low / no sexual libido
> Less satisfying sex
> Higher risk of haemorrhoids
> more prone to serious injuries (like broken bones etc) for even small falls
> breathlessness
> snoring / sleep apnea
> increased bullying at work - generally treated like you are stupid, less valued, more disposable
> less career progression at work, and less salary
> larger breasts, and increased risk of back pain/curved shoulders/ poor posture from breast heaviness
> higher likelihood of Dowagers hump (hump at back of neck)
> misery trying to find clothes that fit - and that look acceptable, let alone great
> swollen feet
> Flat feet and need for curved insole support to help with feet pain
> Higher risk of Plantar fasciitis
> difficulty standing for even short periods due to pain in feet
> sore knees, and wearing down for cartilage in knees

There are more - these are just the first things that some to my mind.

It’s awful really.

My problem is I’m addicted to ultra processed foods

Have you listened to the Van Tulliken brothers podcasts on UPF? That might help you onto a better track.

putting Calories on menus has been a real eye opener. There’s a coffee shop/bakers I go to and one of their pasties was 700 calories!

In case it might help anybody, the charity BEAT run a free online (but off-cam) support group for anyone concerned about BED (Binge Eating Disorder).

Friday evenings, 6.45-7-45pm.

I've found them a very friendly, inclusive and supportive bunch of people. No judgement, just an overwhelming relief to spend time with others who truly get it.

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/get-help-for-myself/i-need-support-now/online-support-groups/nightingale-online-support-group/

I can’t answer your question about being overweight. But I can about eating what you want when you want :) in my 20s I used to be able to eat anything I wanted and huge amounts. Every meal I ate until I felt I would burst, dessert after every meal etc. But I had a fast metabolism so always stayed slim (20 BMI). I would feel bloated or gross for an hour after the meal, but then normal again. It was great not having to worry about gaining weight, however, I did have slightly higher cholesterol so it wasn’t the best thing. Now I’m almost 40 and can’t eat the same. I am still slim after 3 kids. But I do pay attention a little to what I eat. If I eat too much for a few weeks I can see my tummy puffing out. But eating healthy for a day or two fixes that. When I was pregnant, each time I put 23-25 kgs (all came off after each baby). But I always felt super uncomfortable w that extra weight.

My weight has fluctuated my entire life, and I both gain and lose weight quickly. I can literally gain or lose half a stone in a day depending on what I eat (not consistently and it’s probably all water related). I seem to have a limit I reach where it begins to get more difficult to do everyday things and I’ve never gone beyond it, but even for the brief moments I’m there it’s miserable, and it’s through binge eating and zero movement.

I have a relative who’s morbidly obese and I couldn’t figure out how as they really don’t seem to eat worse than me a lot of the time. We have candid conversations about weight and food so I don’t think they were hiding anything. But what we did figure out is that they literally don’t move. It’s home, to the car, into work, and back again.

I have some moments of clarity with food, and I even found intuitive eating works great sometimes but then I’ll have a bad day (I’ve noticed a bit of a pattern in beginning a binge when tired) and it’s back to square one. I guess I’m thankful as well that I have enough responsibilities that it’s a lot more difficult for me to remain sedentary for any length of time so whilst I sometimes creep close it’s hard to reach my highest weight again. I also have sciatica and back problems which maybe ironically stop me from being sedentary as much as I always take a fairly proactive approach with flare ups.

This has been an interesting read.

I was very very slim until I had DD, now I’m more normal/slim. I can eat and eat and don’t gain a pound - not saying this to boast, just to say I’m well aware that if my metabolism was different I would be overweight, so it’s just luck of the draw that I’m not.

I went for a maternity clinic appointment the other day and noted 8/10 ladies in the waiting room were very overweight, which I know is disproportionate to the general norm.

I do wonder if it’s not solely to do with food though - why do boys/men eat like horses yet so many teen boys are rake thin? And I don’t see as many overweight men as I do women. Could it be hormonal, etc? Chemicals? Things like PCOS?

From a physical point of view, quite a bit harder than being not really, really overweight

I think there must be that point where the more weight you put on, the physically harder it gets. It must take so much energy to just move that amount of weight- can you imagine wearing a 60kg weight vest all day every day? That need for energy drives your appetite, you move less as it’s hard. Then your knees and ankles, and body in general gets sore from carrying so much weight, so you move even less. End result being you’re eating more yet moving less-=
calorie surplus.