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Original poster

Should I report Internet friend missing.

86 replies

Patienceisntvirtuous · 23/10/2022 19:16

I follow a woman on SM. Don't know her personally. She's ALWAYS online. Day and night as she doesn't sleep well.

She messages me each time she posts new content. I've had a few chats with her and been in a few of her 'live' sessions, and have learned that she has BPD, suffers from depression, is estranged from her family and has lost a close sibling quite recently. She also has epilepsy and has been in a very abusive relationship.

She's now not been online since Thursday.

I don't know her so feel a bit 'busybody'. But I'm worried. She doesn't work, doesn't have people near her who know her.
I've got hold of two mobile numbers from her, no response. I've emailed her yesterday, no response. The worrisome thing is she is always online, she doesn't work other than her SM. It's out of character.

Should I ring the police? I don't know her address but I know her real name, number and town she lives in. Wwyd?

OP posts:
Original poster
Patienceisntvirtuous · 23/10/2022 19:17

FOR her, not from her.

OP posts:
Violettaa · 23/10/2022 19:17

No don’t be silly. You sound like a stalker.

IncompleteSenten · 23/10/2022 19:18

I wouldn't do anything.
Well, I would. I'd back away a bit. It sounds too intense and with the potential to go horribly wrong.

Original poster
Patienceisntvirtuous · 23/10/2022 19:20

I may be affected by the fact someone I know was recently found deceased in his flat after a week as nobody had checked. Similar health issues.

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cookiecreammmpie · 23/10/2022 19:20

She's probably not missing though. She's just not online talking to you. She could be out and about talking to people and doing stuff in real life.

TokyoSushi · 23/10/2022 19:22

I'm not sure that you should. The main issue here is that people that you only know online are often not all that they seem. I'd wait a bit longer.

Original poster
Patienceisntvirtuous · 23/10/2022 19:22

We don't talk very often at all, she just sends me content. I do know she seldom goes out due to illness though. Doesn't have many RL friends, sort of 'lives' online.

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 23/10/2022 19:23

If you are worried, you could give the police the details you have and ask them to do a welfare check.

Skinnermarink · 23/10/2022 19:23

Are you quite sure all those things are true ?

You don’t know her in real life. You’d be wise not to be so invested.

NormalForNuneaton · 23/10/2022 19:24

Is there anyone else that you see on her social media that you could message to ask if they've had any contact with her ?
(I'm thinking along the lines of another friend of hers that frequently comments on her posts, even if they're another online friend)

Original poster
Patienceisntvirtuous · 23/10/2022 19:24

IncompleteSenten · 23/10/2022 19:23

If you are worried, you could give the police the details you have and ask them to do a welfare check.

Well that's what I'm asking if I should do. But most seem to disagree :)

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IncompleteSenten · 23/10/2022 19:25

Can I ask. Why you say you 'know' this, that and the other do you mean that she has told you?

If your only source of information is what she has said to you then it is equally likely to be false as true. People pretend all sorts of the net for a wide variety of reasons and it's important to be cautious.

IncompleteSenten · 23/10/2022 19:25

When not why

Original poster
Patienceisntvirtuous · 23/10/2022 19:25

Skinnermarink · 23/10/2022 19:23

Are you quite sure all those things are true ?

You don’t know her in real life. You’d be wise not to be so invested.

No way of knowing for certain ever is there really.

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grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 23/10/2022 19:26

What do you mean by you don't know her personally, but know her real name, number and town she lives, and mobile numbers? Did she give them to you, or you found them out yourself? It's quite odd you say you don't know her personally, and know all the info.

Original poster
Patienceisntvirtuous · 23/10/2022 19:29

I know her real name because I sent her something by email and she has her name on her signature. Of course it could be a different one. She's told me the town she lives in. Not sure what you mean by number? A mutual contact gave me her mobile numbers for a different reason some time ago. I've never used them.

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Bestofthree · 23/10/2022 19:29

I can see you mean well and she is a real person who has 'disappeared' from view so I can understand your concern. I probably wouldnt do anything though as (a) she is probably fine, or ill in hospital , or has broken internet, or on holiday or having a MH crisis and gone inward etc and (b) it isnt your responsibility and someone from real life like a neighbour would reach out.

How come you have her mobile numbers? If there is just no response it will mean phones are being charged and she is choosing not to respond (i.e. not dead and phone dead as not charged).

titchy · 23/10/2022 19:29

Patienceisntvirtuous · 23/10/2022 19:22

We don't talk very often at all, she just sends me content. I do know she seldom goes out due to illness though. Doesn't have many RL friends, sort of 'lives' online.

You really don't know that at all. D
For all you know she's a truck driver called Dave who has just been arrested for DV.

Original poster
Patienceisntvirtuous · 23/10/2022 19:30

titchy · 23/10/2022 19:29

You really don't know that at all. D
For all you know she's a truck driver called Dave who has just been arrested for DV.

Show quote history

She looks rather feminine on her lives for someone called Dave.

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 23/10/2022 19:34

If you need to call asking for a welfare check for your own peace of mind then you should do that.

Original poster
Patienceisntvirtuous · 23/10/2022 19:34

Bestofthree · 23/10/2022 19:29

I can see you mean well and she is a real person who has 'disappeared' from view so I can understand your concern. I probably wouldnt do anything though as (a) she is probably fine, or ill in hospital , or has broken internet, or on holiday or having a MH crisis and gone inward etc and (b) it isnt your responsibility and someone from real life like a neighbour would reach out.

How come you have her mobile numbers? If there is just no response it will mean phones are being charged and she is choosing not to respond (i.e. not dead and phone dead as not charged).

Thank you.
I hope you're right.
The messages have gone thru.
She is the type who sees to post every little detail of her life online, so holiday or hospital would be odd. (Unless VERY ill of course).

OP posts:
Skinnermarink · 23/10/2022 19:41

Patienceisntvirtuous · 23/10/2022 19:25

No way of knowing for certain ever is there really.

Show quote history

Well yes, when you really know someone there are lots of ways

Skinnermarink · 23/10/2022 19:42

Personally I feel you’ve been sucked in, for what reason I don’t know, but you obviously don’t think so so my opinion isn’t really relevant.

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 23/10/2022 19:45

Not sure what you mean by number?
I don't either, but you've said,

I don't know her address but I know her real name, number and town she lives in.
So I quoted.

Original poster
Patienceisntvirtuous · 23/10/2022 19:49

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 23/10/2022 19:45

Not sure what you mean by number?
I don't either, but you've said,

I don't know her address but I know her real name, number and town she lives in.
So I quoted.

Yes I did, I meant I know her phone number.
@Skinnermarink yes if course if you know someone personally. I don't in this case. Actually even if you know someone personally it's not always straightforward! I've no way of knowing for certain about anything I've been privy to about this woman though.

OP posts: