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Original poster

How to deal with my awful neighbours

74 replies

Creativecake · 22/10/2022 20:42

I can’t move so that’s not an option.

have ‘fallen out’ with NDN. We weren’t friendly anyway really but I used to stop and chat to the woman. They have always been a nightmare though. Noisy. Lots of rows. The man being vile and using abusive language. I felt sorry for the woman.

We ended up having a heated discussion with them a fortnight ago. About their cats. They have 2 that come into my garden, harass my dogs, shit everywhere etc. they were so ludicrously unreasonable about this I ended up walking away. Since then they have taken to ignoring us, scowling at us and at our kids! Lots of PA behaviour. The man walked deliberately slow across the road the other day so I would have to slow my car down. It’s actually pathetic. Grown adults!

anyway I’m not sure how to handle this. Ignore? Play them at their own game? It’s getting me down. I didn’t like them much to start with but living with obvious hostility next door is wearing,

any suggestions?

OP posts:
Nightmanagerfan · 22/10/2022 20:43

What did you expect them to do about their cats?

BeautifulElephant · 22/10/2022 20:45

How do cats harass dogs? What did you say to them about their cats and what did you want them to do?

Gilead · 22/10/2022 20:45

Cats are their own bosses. When next doors cat was on the fence I’d just call my dog in. It’s not their owners fault.

SnarkyBag · 22/10/2022 20:48

You were daft to confront some you know to be abusive and vile about cats in your garden. Really not much you can do to control cats so pointless raising it.

Tomanycarrots · 22/10/2022 20:49

Yabu

MugginsOverEre · 22/10/2022 20:50

Laugh.

When they're walking slowly in front of your car, find it fucking hilarious.

When they're scowling, burst out laughing at how pathetic it is.

They'll not continue silly behaviour that results in them being mocked or it not actually bothering you other than providing entertainment.

Idontdoyoga · 22/10/2022 20:51

Go with the flow. Totally ignore them. Let them be childish without any acknowledgment from you. Go about your life as if they don’t exist. Take no notice.
Keep your dignity. Rise above their ignorant behaviour. It’ll become a way of life and soon enough you won’t even see them.

ivykaty44 · 22/10/2022 20:53

Just ignore and say hello, ignoring someone ignoring you is frustrating

MugginsOverEre · 22/10/2022 20:53

And as for the cats, as a cat owner, I've told all my neighbours that if they see my darling master cat trying to take a shit on their flowerbeds or annoying their dogs (my cat totally does that) then chuck a cup of water or turn the garden hose on her. It doesn't do any harm but does make their garden a "dangerous" and scary place to go in future and is to be avoided.

Acheyknees · 22/10/2022 20:54

Be overly nice and chatty, lots of over the top smiles and waving when he crosses the road. He won't know how to react.

Original poster
Creativecake · 22/10/2022 20:58

I went around to explain I was going to try and cat proof the garden a bit which meant putting a roller on the fence. Our fence. I did it out of politeness. Their cats sit on the fence. Our dogs bark. It creates havoc. You would have thought I was threatening to murder the cats., I also don’t appreciate them shitting in our flower beds.

OP posts:
Original poster
Creativecake · 22/10/2022 21:02

I didn’t expect them to DO anything. I was simply explaining I was trying to limit their cats access to our garden. I thought they’d be pleased! Given that they are always muttering about my dogs barking. And I’m also worried that one day the dogs will catch the cat and it won’t be pretty.

OP posts:
BeautifulElephant · 22/10/2022 21:02

*Their cats sit on the fence. Our dogs bark. It creates havoc"

Yabu

Original poster
Creativecake · 22/10/2022 21:03

How am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
BooksAreSaferThanPeople · 22/10/2022 21:05

Creativecake · 22/10/2022 21:03

How am I being unreasonable?

You're not. But you've awoken the wrath of the entitled "cat mamas" who think their beloved feline offspring have a god given right to trash your garden.

Just ignore your neighbours and cat proof your garden.

Original poster
Creativecake · 22/10/2022 21:07

Yes I’m beginning to get that……..

OP posts:
SD1978 · 22/10/2022 21:11

Unfortunate pro wandering cat people will shrug and say well what do you want them to do about it, when you complain about cat shit in your garden, and your dogs being worked up, because cats have the need and right to go wherever they want, do whatever they want, and your frustrations are utterly baseless, because what else can you expect from a cat............

CallTheMobWife · 22/10/2022 21:11

Creativecake · 22/10/2022 21:02

I didn’t expect them to DO anything. I was simply explaining I was trying to limit their cats access to our garden. I thought they’d be pleased! Given that they are always muttering about my dogs barking. And I’m also worried that one day the dogs will catch the cat and it won’t be pretty.

If you were my neighbour, I would think you completely mad. I do not have to control my cats. You, on the other hand, have to control your dogs, including their barking disturbing others.

SnarkyBag · 22/10/2022 21:13

I’m not pro cat hate the little fuckers crapping in my garden still wouldn’t bother raising it with the owner 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
Creativecake · 22/10/2022 21:14

i didn’t ask them to control their cats though.

however it’s quite hilarious to think the onus is on me to control my pet but cats can do wtf they like. And you think I’m mad?

OP posts:
Original poster
Creativecake · 22/10/2022 21:17

Are people not reading the post? I didn’t ask for advice about cats. That ship has sailed. However I will point out again, I wasn’t asking them to control their cats or to DO anything really. I was just politely informing them that I would be making alterations to a fence. I did think they might be pleased I was making efforts to curtail my dogs barking and to reduce the risk of harm to their cats…

OP posts:
Heyahun · 22/10/2022 21:17

Just ignore

we have issues with neighbours upstairs - he hates me - so to annoy him I always say hello how are you when I see him big smile on my face - it annoys him.

so much so that he now goes back in his flat if he hears me coming up the stairs and waits until the coast is clear
🤣

I blocked his number so he can’t complain to me anymore and I just don’t open the door if he knocks

Original poster
Creativecake · 22/10/2022 21:19

Yes will probably try that. Thanks for the sensible suggestions.

OP posts:
dontgobaconmyheart · 22/10/2022 21:47

I would just be pleased they're now ignoring me. If I'd witnessed the walking slowly in front of the car routine I'd have given a brief neutral wave and just waited as though it all seemed norm. Obviously they're pathetic and their response is embarrassing but you aren't going to be able to persuade them of that. If they had enough self awareness to grasp how ridiculous that is they wouldn't be doing it in the first place.

No point engaging and I wouldn't have over cats. Not least when you've said there is aggressive and behaviours associated with them. As others have pointed out, they can't do a lot about what the cats get up to. Look into other methods to deter them from the garden- shame the fact you've got dogs hasn't worked.

Quackpot · 22/10/2022 21:51

I hope you send their cats shit straight back over the fence 😂