How to deal with my awful neighbours

[Creativecake]

I can’t move so that’s not an option.

have ‘fallen out’ with NDN. We weren’t friendly anyway really but I used to stop and chat to the woman. They have always been a nightmare though. Noisy. Lots of rows. The man being vile and using abusive language. I felt sorry for the woman.

We ended up having a heated discussion with them a fortnight ago. About their cats. They have 2 that come into my garden, harass my dogs, shit everywhere etc. they were so ludicrously unreasonable about this I ended up walking away. Since then they have taken to ignoring us, scowling at us and at our kids! Lots of PA behaviour. The man walked deliberately slow across the road the other day so I would have to slow my car down. It’s actually pathetic. Grown adults!

anyway I’m not sure how to handle this. Ignore? Play them at their own game? It’s getting me down. I didn’t like them much to start with but living with obvious hostility next door is wearing,

any suggestions?

I had this when I asked vile neighbors to stop letting their dogs shit all over my front garden.

They have been badmouthing me up and down the street for three years, deliberately noise-making and other torment.

I just Grey Rock as if they aren't there, but the tension does make life unpleasant. They are gradually losing interest in the feud as their kids get into the busy teen years.

Ignore them.

This.

I will never understand the mentality that it's ok for domestic cats to roam. It's not.

Why don't you cat proof your own from the inside so your cat can't get out?

Why can cat shit everywhere but dogs can’t bark? Both equally annoying.

It is of course quite easy for cat owners to stop their cat shitting in other's gardens and setting their dogs off. Keep it indoors.

Are you one of those who thinks that dogs can be trained not to be afraid of fireworks?

Same back at you.

What did you expect them to do about the cats?! I have a cat and I can’t go following him around all day 🤣

OP has explained (more than once) she didn't expect them to DO anything. She was letting them know she was cat proofing her garden.
And no, you don't need to follow your cat around all day .
Just keep it indoors.

They are quite happy to have the cats wandering through their garden and even into their houses; they just don’t want the shit. Everyone is happy.

It is though. The law says so.

Fireworks are a bit different, as in they are continuous obnoxious loud bangs so yes, pets and some humans can be frightened of them. Dogs barking at a cat sat on a fence is much different to a dog being scared of fireworks going off.

The amount of dogs who just continue to bark for the sake of it because they are untrained is a nuisance and you absolutely can train a dog. Sometimes you just walk past someone's fence and their dickhead dog starts barking for England. I was woken this morning to a "rarararararara" type of continuous bark from next doors dog.

We get squirrels, seagulls, pigeons and other birds come in to the garden and on the fence. Imagine how annoying it would be if a dog barked everytime one of them sat on the fence!

I've got news for you. You can train dogs to be OK with loud bangs. They're called gun dogs. It's really that you're a cat person and not a dog person isn't it?

Yes…in their efforts to tell us about how cats can do wtf they like, these people seem to forget that wasn’t my question.

however, cat owners doing a great job her of giving me an insight into their ridiculous world where cats are entitled to anything they want.

So your basically saying on the one hand dogs can be trained to not be frightened of fireworks and on the other hand saying they cannot be trained to not bark at a cat sitting on a fence 🤔

You also said dogs cannot be trained to not be afraid of fireworks then in the next post say they can and are called gun dogs 🤨

Wait until you know you will have dry weather for a couple of days. Get a bag of chilli powder and sprinkle it everywhere you normally see the cats. I did this a few weeks ago to deter a cat that kept on shitting on my front garden and he/she has not been back since.

How ridiculous. The easiest thing to do is hosepipe the cat which I do and soon enough they get the message not to come into the garden or sit on the wall.

Just ignore them back! 🤷🏻‍♀️ They will soon give up on the petty behaviour, just rose above it.

I own a dog and a cat, I always remember next door in my old house hammering on my front door and said my cat has got in to your back garden, your dog is going to kill my cat! Screaming at me....I said my dog will not harm your cat, he's fine with cats he lives with one. She said I don't believe you let me get my cat, she barged passed me in to my own house to access my back garden to find her cat sunbathing on my patio furniture and my dog snoozing on the hot pavers.

She was an absolute loon 😂 I was in such shock that she had forced entry to my house, I sorta just stood there in disbelief like a lemon. But I did say "see told you so" when the animals were discovered safe and sound. I told her maybe its best you keep your cat indoors if you are this worried, she called me unreasonable that a cat could roam where it likes 😳 I said "ok, well thanks for visiting, please leave now"

She moved house a few months later, and her husband came over to profusely apologise to me, as he said he got home from work, and she told me what she had done and he was mortified 😂 but then he said "don't tell her I've come over and apologised" absolute weird people.

Lol I think some people assume all threads are in AIBU when they’re not. I have thoughts and feelings on the whole cat vs dog thing but will save it!

If they are (he is) as horrible as you say and as petty as it sounds I honestly wouldn’t try to beat them at their own game. I have had nightmare neighbours before and sometimes there is no reasoning what so ever. Your best bet for an easier life is to try and get them back on side tbh. So you have to decide which hills you’re willing to die on. If the cat problem is the worst thing then do what you said you would, but try to open up light hearted communication again after. Or you could just ignore them but be prepared for him to continue walking slowly in front of your car. This may continue now no matter what, some people cannot let go of a grudge!

Oh I agree, if the cats annoy then spray them with those hose if they go in your garden. But the dog also needs a muzzle to stop it barking at ridiculous things and annoying the neighbours if the owner can't be bothered to train it.

Agree with this. My neighbours are horrible and I had a real nightmare time with them when i moved in as they are just "that family " who live in their own thuggish world and have no concept of their rudeness. I spoke to them a number of times but you learn with some people you just have to be "civil", even if you hate them, because you have to live next door to them. It shouldn't be that way but you only make your life harder otherwise.

@Redwineandroses It’s so sad isn’t it and can really affect your quality of life. We did actually end up moving from our last place with nightmare neighbours, and they weren’t even next door but across the road. I know that’s not possible for everyone and that’s really shit, so sometimes it is just head down and crack on.

Absolutely. I'm mid terraced so joined directly to them. The first 2 years were horrible to the point I didn't want go home. Their sons bedroom is directly joined to mine, he's in his 20s and was a big gamer so he'd be shouting in a headset all night. When I went round to complain to the parents, I soon learnt they didn't give a shit and he would deliberately play loud music knowing it was annoying me. I had a period of time where I had to sleep with headphones on because I was anxious, even when he wasn't making a sound I'd be worrying when it would start. They've had noisy parties, smoking weed at the window etc. They are quite a well known family of thieves and shisters in the area (although I'd not heard of them before I moved in.)

Things have gotten better over the years, especially when he got a girlfriend and was quieter. I am civil with them because its easier to be than not to be. But as soon as I get the opportunity to move I will as I've never truly been happy in my house because of them. Now they have a dog who barks too, a real rarararara type bark every time someone walks past their fence.

@Redwineandroses I’m sorry that’s what you have to deal with, but glad it’s at least a little bit better now. And I think noise is the worst, there’s a reason it’s used as a torture device. I got to the point where I would wake up gasping and basically be having an anxiety attack in my sleep whenever I heard noise. I really hope that opportunity comes sooner than later for you!

I totally get that. It's like you're asleep but never truly asleep because you're so anxious the noise will start. Now I just have the bloody dog. Noise really is the worst when It comes to neighbours, there's general living noise then there's totally avoidable noise, but unfortunately those making the avoidable noise don't usually give a shit about their neighbours or who they disturb. If I could buy a detached home I totally would!