How to deal with my awful neighbours

[Creativecake]

I can’t move so that’s not an option.

have ‘fallen out’ with NDN. We weren’t friendly anyway really but I used to stop and chat to the woman. They have always been a nightmare though. Noisy. Lots of rows. The man being vile and using abusive language. I felt sorry for the woman.

We ended up having a heated discussion with them a fortnight ago. About their cats. They have 2 that come into my garden, harass my dogs, shit everywhere etc. they were so ludicrously unreasonable about this I ended up walking away. Since then they have taken to ignoring us, scowling at us and at our kids! Lots of PA behaviour. The man walked deliberately slow across the road the other day so I would have to slow my car down. It’s actually pathetic. Grown adults!

anyway I’m not sure how to handle this. Ignore? Play them at their own game? It’s getting me down. I didn’t like them much to start with but living with obvious hostility next door is wearing,

any suggestions?

I should!

I'm with you on this, I don't think anyone should allow their pets to foul others' gardens (although I admit I begrudgingly put up with the cleaning up myself rather than confront anyone).

Hilarious? It's a simple fact. The onus IS on you to control your pet, it is not on them. That's how cats and dogs work, there is nothing funny about it.

They're probably just bemuesed why you would be telling them that you are doing things to your fence. It's your fence, what do they care what you do to it?

You do have very odd ideas about how things work...

Not to derail the thread but @Creativecake what roller are you getting/did you get for the fence?

I have cats. My cats shit elsewhere. I suspect one of them is capable of holding his own in a fight with anything from a German Shepherd down.

I am mortified by it, and have helped the immediate neighbours cat-proof their gardens.

Your neighbours are arsey twats. Rise above.

This is one of those threads where the op blames the neighbours and nearly everyone is thinking, aye, it’s you 😂

Totally ignore them. Keep a diary of every.single.interaction you find umcomfortable/bizarre/abusive in case this escalates further.

I'd take some cat shit over a dog barking any day. At least the cats shit fucking quietly.

It sounds like your dogs barking is a nuisance and living next door or in the immediate area of someone who's dogs bark constantly is really horrible. Dogs can be trained and if the cats are making them bark, train the dog to not bark. If the cats are clawing/hurting the dogs in some way that's different but if the dog is just barking because it can see a bloody cat sat on the fence then it's nuts and needs to be trained.

Well, you are the one with the barky dog.

Dogs will generally get excited at the sight of a cat. Some dogs would cause the cat harm if they could, though I think most wouldn't.

The self-entitlement of thoose who think you're the one BU because your own dog in your own garden barks at next door's cat is frankly astonishing.

How to deal with your neighbours? Assuming you are certain the fence is yours then go ahead and put the roller in. You shouldn't do anything with the intention of harming their cat, though that doesn't mean you are responsible if your dog attacks their cat in your own garden.

Yes, keep a little diary detailing every time you approach your neighbours and start a row about things that have nothing to do with you, and every time you approach them to inform them of things that have nothing to do with them.
Sane idea, for sure.

It's not self-entitlement to think a dog owner should train their dog not to bark at a cat sitting on a fence! 🙄

Of course it is. Not only that it's expecting the impossible. A dog owner cannot stop a dog barking at a cat that invades its garden, in the same way that a cat owner cannot control where their cat goes and where it toilets itself.

I presume you're a cat owner, in which case you're demading of others something you're not prepared to do yourself.

Dictionary definition: Self-entitled people tend to be self-centered, always thinking about their own needs and wants first before anyone else's; they often think that what others want or need isn't as important as what they have to say or do. They can be very self-absorbed at times; self-entitlement makes them egocentric and self-serving.

They can train dogs to do all sorts of things from guarding to acting in movies! I'm sure a training a dog not to bark at a cat sitting on a fence is not asking for the impossible! 😅 You train it the same way someone would get it to "sit" at the curb before crossing the road etc. We get lots of squirrels sitting on our fence, it's not just cats.

And this is why I prefer cats over dogs.

💩

If you were my neighbour, I would think you completely mad. I do not have to control my cats. You, on the other hand, have to control your dogs, including their barking disturbing others.

Erm what? This is why I bloody hate cats (and some cat owners).

Nah this is one of those utterly derailed threads where a lot of us are amazed at the lack of reading comprehension on the part of other adults.
She literally didn’t ask if she was BU about the cats (unless you have a time machine) she asked for advice on how to deal with the neighbours going forward.
OP I’d ignore them.

Of course dog owners can! YOU apparently can't, its not the same thing.

You appear to be one of those self-entitled, self centred dowg owners who think other people should put up with your noisy, untrained dogs. I see you've included a definition for yourself, so handy!

I can’t remember the name of the company. It’s called a coyote roller. If I can find them again I will post it.

If you want to avoid a lifetime of misery, put a non-toxic cat repellant in your garden and then buy a nice tub of chocolates and go round and call a truce. Even if you're not in the wrong, being the bigger person could save you years of stress and drama.

You never know, the woman might really need a friend!

I agree with PP .. as they are NDN and around DCs I would be overly nice . Card and chocs at Christmas etc... have realised that people who are that rude just think differently - not going to reason with them so have to minimise their impact

YABU. Cats harassing dogs? What a joke. What are your dogs doing outside? Surely they are only out for a short time for a pee and the cats aren't always there.

I have a dog and two cats, by the way.

Our neighbour commented in passing that our cat poos in her garden. We apologised and told her next time she caught them doing it she could throw water over them - they'll soon learn to avoid it if there's a chance of a soaking. She decided that she felt too mean and acknowledged that if it wasn't our cat it would be someone elses, as there's loads round here.

Being offended by you suggesting that you're going to try and keep the cats out of your garden is just bonkers - YANBU OP!

As others have suggested - kill them with kindness - smile and wave!

Word of warning about the rollers though. There is a possibility that the cat could fall in to your garden and not be able to get back out again, so just be careful for a little while until the cats have got used to them.

My cat is very, very clever and has excellent balance (she can climb and sit in a washing airer and can fall asleep on the top of a fence or door), so a roller might not work, depending on the intelligence of the cat!

Sprinkle pepper on your flower beds. They will not come back. Cats hate
pepper.