Why do so many women not like their men aka partners to watch porn ?

[Freespirit42]

I am single atm but I am reading comments on here and so many seem horrified that their men might watch porn, even wank to it or maybe do cam to cam . Now I don’t think any of that is cheating porn is porn. So do you think that there seems to be quite a few women on MN that dont agree with it?

Everybody take things on trust in their relationships. Its not like we are all fitted with trackers.

Good question

It can make a woman feel shxt
If youre partners got a particular type of porn like asian or hispanic
It could make you insecure

It always amuses me that so many women are completely confident that their partners don’t watch porn. Not my man! Dealbreaker! He definitely doesn’t! He told me so! He has morals! I pay the bills, I would know!
A lot of porn is free and a great many, many men watch it and say they don’t. Always makes me laugh, the utter delusion.

That’s what I keep saying but I get shot down I think it’s niave

It’s per se. Just to help you if you have any other interesting musings to post.

I will get shot down too but it doesn’t make it any less true. These threads always go the same way…. Not my man. I am enough for him. Why would he need porn.

All whilst OH is hand shuffling himself into next week.

Thank you for being a spelling and grammar Nazi

I've posted about this once years ago on here on pretty much the exact same thread, topic of oh all men do it, any who say they don't are liars and women are naive et

Yes they may have seen it in the past, but there are those that are choosing not to anymore.

There are various therapy groups that help men go cold turkey over porn, there are lots of men on them.

A male family member talks to some of these groups, about a traumatic thing that happened in his family and talks about how you don't know what you're watching is consensual.

Its not just monks and the mobileless. Yes it might be a small percentage, but its growing in numbers of men wanting and succeeding in stopping, both in formals groups like this, but also online support via various discords and reddit groups, that are helping men stop.

Yes it's a small percentage but this whole rhetoric of every single man does it, they can never stop type thing, is not helpful, is untrue and leads to the normilisation of the porn industry and is such a floor scrapingly low standards for men, that they cant possibly resist and everyyyyyone does it, yes they are more than capable of stopping watching it and they can and lots do so.

Put simply the porn industry exploits women.

I can't respect a partner who buys into that "culture".

There are huge myths about "happy hookers" and the very few women who claim to to empowered by participating in the porn industry.

The term "sex workers" is meant to sanitise prostitution/porn and its chilling how many men use (and encourage) that parlance.

"Sex workers" don't get pensions, HR departments, protected working conditions , checks on age/exploitation etc.

Feel free to be the "cool chick" who doesn't care if their partner wanks off to a video that's more often than not a girl pressured through a pimp or financial desperation to sell herself.

The big lie that's sold here is that women like myself are upset/challenged because of sexual jealousy.

That's not the case. DH watching porn is not a deal breaker because I'm sexually repressed/jealous etc it's because it's an industry founded on the commoditisation and exploitation of women (and usually vulnerable young women and girls).

One of the reasons DH and I are happily married is because we share a common ground on many issues and this is one of them.

You’re welcome.

Is it a class thing? I see on mumsnet alot seem to be more middle class

Thing is I don’t really have a problem with porn as such although i know there are ethical considerations and different types of porn etc but my bigger issues are the double standards. The things women are conditioned to accept as ok to make themselves appeal to men (of a certain calibre mind) as that’s something that men do and it’s acceptable. Boys will be boys. There are many women who say physical cheating is something all men do, so why not just accept that too? But funnily the same men would have a problem if the woman was doing it. I don’t mean watching it together. I mean watching it on her own without his involvement or one to one with another man. That’s where you get women being called sl**s etc as women shouldn’t want sex like that. When men have double standards like that and you’re ok with that, you’re just cheapening yourself imo and allowing the misogyny to continue.

Well DH and I are Christians.

Matthew 5:28 - But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

So for me, its the same as cheating. Dealbreaker.

That is a very good comment thanjs that has made me think about things

I quite agree women should be able to watch porn alone etc without men dictating I don’t want men to tell women what they should be doing

That’s another thing. A huge amount of women watch porn too.

Yes there are female porn directors now.

Nah, a porn watching partner wouldn't be for me. Dumped one before. It's something I really don't like. The "all men watch porn" argument is apologist nonsense. If you are into it and OK with it then fine but don't paint all men as desperate to watch porn and any female partners not into it as buttoned up prudes.

I think you misunderstand me, If a man doesn’t like porn himself it’s okay for him to expect his partner not to watch it too and vice versa but problem is, if he’s fine with it for himself but not his partner then there is a problem there which is why I ask if your partners would be ok with you doing it alone with another man on cam. If you’re ok with him doing it with another woman then he should be ok with you too but many women don’t have those expectations because they wouldn’t dare rock the boat as they want to hold onto him for dear life so whatever he says in that regard is fine. Same with cheating, if he cheats well that’s men for you, they can’t help themselves but men rarely feel that way when women do it etc.

some really good points thanks

Not ALL men watch porn and not ALL women mind if they do.

Thanks for the points, I find talking to people in person is better for me then writing so if you can’t understand what or how I write let me know thanks

It may be ubiquitous now but I still associate porn with men in dirty macs going to buy videos and magazines from sex shops. Has always been and will always be disgusting, no matter how much the internet has normalised it.

Someone asked a bit ago but I can’t think of any guys that I have had relationships with that didn’t watch porn so maybe I am judging on my experiences but I think there are many that do watch porn