Why can't I lose weight? Please help

[whoisthatpersoninthemirror]

I am 36. I was always naturally very slim, until I had my last child. After pregnancy I gained weight, I hadn't been able to eat well during pregnancy so not a lot of weight was gained.

But now 2 years later I can't lose it. I'm 22 pounds overweight.

I am calorie counting, writing everything down in an app, not eating sweets or chocolate, walking 10,000 steps a day, doing HIIT or strength training twice a week.

My weight isn't budging. I've been to the doctor and had bloods tests done, everything is fine apparently.

I don't recognise myself anymore and I'm tired of having to having to buy bigger clothes and feel like I'm hiding myself.

Please tell me what I'm doing wrong.

Why am I being rounded on for being dangerous?

500 + 400 = 900

900 calories is fine. Not ideal but I recall my friend being placed on a similar diet by her GP. Admittedly that was to combat pre-diabetes, but I don't think 900 calories a day is as ridiculous as you are making out.

at 5'1" the top end of BMI is 9st6lbs, obese starts at 11st 4lbs

there is no way you can be technically obese and lose 3 kg to be top end of BMI (under 25)
there is 26lbs almost 2stone between top end BMI and being obese (BMI 30+)

It isn’t just that poster, some of the other advice on this thread is also bordering on the pro-ana or at the very least disordered eating end of the spectrum.

OP, many women find that they cannot lose weight as easily in their late 30’s and beyond. It’s quite normal and seems to be hormonal. My body shape changed, I went from an 8 to a 12 in around 2.5yrs though my lifestyle hadn’t changed drastically. I’d just got older. Bodies change with time, particularly women’s bodies. It’s normal. There are things you can and should do (if you are able) to stay healthy and fit but please don’t torture yourself into a size you aren’t meant to be.

I am not wasting away. I'm perfectly slim.

@ronronaldcat what's your BMI? To me that looks when mine was around 21.

I'm another shortie and have struggled for years with my BMI at 27 ish. it unfortunately only gets harder after the menopause.

However, I have finally made progress this year, but very slowly. The turning point was reading the "why we eat too much" book. The idea that to keep weight off you need to Start with what you will eat at maintenance somehow clicked with me. I lost a stone over 4 months and am still losing weight, just really slowly. My BMI is now 24 and I'm losing about a pound every 2-3 weeks. It's not fast enough for everyone, but I'm content.

I have mostly stopped eating processed food, cut out most sugar and reduced carbs/swapped to whole grains.

I don't have breakfast but have a milky coffee made with semi-skimmed milk.

For lunch, I usually have salad, usually including roast veg, beans and some protein; often leftovers.

For dinner it's half a plate of vegetables, some decent quality carbohydrates and protein. I eat a good amount of fish. If I have pasta or risotto, I have a smaller portion and salad to balance the meal.

Drinks mostly water, tea & coffee. Wine at weekends. No fizzy pop/diet drinks because I read that they bugger up your gut biome.

I don't routinely calorie count but used MFP at the beginning and found I had a range between 1200 and 1800 per day.

It's not a lit of calories no, but is enough to lose weight when exercising.

I'm 5ft 8, weigh 68kg and stick to 1500 calories a day doing 16:8 fasting. I'm in the gym for 1.5 hours most days and generally burn 600-800 calories although I know this isn't exact.

This works for me and gives me the weekend to play with when I'll have wine and relax my calorie counting. At 45, I'm the slimmest I've been and find this is a way if eating I can actually stick to.

I meant things like mayo, yoghurt, dressings etc. basically as you say, processed foods.

I found the difference in carbs between low fat mayo and full fat mayo was an eye opener but I totally agree the examples you’ve given aren’t high carb.

these threads always show how difficult it is to lose weight and understand proper nutrition.

@Namechangefail123

20.6 according to NHS website. Possibly a wee bit more as I was on holiday last week and might be carrying an extra lb or 2, but I'm just normal slim. Not even skinny.

I would never encourage anyone to eat the way I do, but unfortunately it is necessary for me 😞 PCOS is awful, I want nothing more than to roll in buttery toast but here we are.

When I was in the low 20s ranges I definitely felt I was too skinny, in fact I would never go that low ever again. Now a days I aim to be 24.

I'm 5ft 8, weigh 68kg and stick to 1500 calories a day doing 16:8 fasting. I'm in the gym for 1.5 hours most days and generally burn 600-800 calories although I know this isn't exact.

You're burning that 6-800 from targeted exercise, but you’re burning at least 1200 ( more if you’re tall ) at complete rest. So any movement on top burns more. You simply won’t get nutritional needs covered on 1500 calories. When I’ve assessed food dairy’s it’s essential B vitamins and certain minerals people end up low in when they limit calories harshly, and of course fibre for most of the population. People might end up skinny and feeling fine in the short term but long term health is risked this way.

Most of us should definitely not tell someone on the internet the exact amount of calories they should eat. You don’t know their BMR. You don’t know what their hormone levels are. You don’t know enough to advise an actual number basically.

Are you on hormonal contraceptives OP? I can’t shift weight at all when I’m on them, I’m fact I seem to consistently put weight on no matter what I fucking eat. As soon as I went to the copper coil I lost a ton of weight easily and have no problem maintaining it.

900 calories is fine

No it isn’t. Official advice on bare minimums backs it up. Please stop. I think this is dangerous and should be reported if you keep on about it.

Awk alright @WahineToa

If it isn't fine, how am I able to function? Breastfeed my daughter? Work full time?

It's fine for me.

I'll leave this be now, as I genuinely don't want to be accused of pushing some pro-ana agenda. We each have our own tolerances and standards, it's a pity you are intolerant of mine.

I wish the OP all the best.

even on the fast800 diet for diabetes it is only recommended for a max of 12 weeks long term not sustainable or healthy and the 800 calories need to be certain foods to get minimum nutrients it can't just be any old 800 calories

there is some evidence that peri menopausal and menopusal women do not really lose weight easily by cardio and calorie counting but lower carb not no carb diet and weight bearing exercise
it is about life style, eat regular meals slowly and eating down, no snacking, no seconds, no eating mindlessly or on the go, mostly whole foods, treats only occasionally not daily, walk as much as possible, don't drink calories, at least 12 hours between finishing dinner and eating breakfast

Respectfully @ronaldcat , it isn’t fine for you. You describe your diet/eating habits as awful, you say it’s grim and you hate it. You concede it is no way to live and it is unhealthy for your body. Your words. You maintain your bmi at the lowest end of normal. You could eat more and have a nutritionally more complete diet with a bmi of 23-24 and you choose not to. It’s not intolerance when people point out what you have already acknowledged.

@ronaldcat what you’ve posted makes no sense, you hate it but it’s fine for you? It’s not. Science has proven this over and over. Your short term anecdotal story doesn’t change the basic facts of the human body. It is wrong to promote or encourage starvation diets.

Bless you that sounds grim but I bet you lose after breastfeeding. It's bullshit that the weight drops off if you breastfeed. Mine all came off when I finished and the doctor said that slot of women are this way. Once all those hormones have gone you slim down x

@ronaldcat I just realised I wrote that wrong, I know you don't need to lose weight now but when you stop breastfeeding I bet you don't need to do that diet to maintain

I did a search on this subject before I started a new thread as I'm really struggling. I'm in same boat OP. Been doing calorie counting for the most part of 15 months. For the past 6 months I fluctuate between 4lbs, go up & down but never drop below the lower end.

This thread has made me more confused than ever as I just don't know what to believe will work. I just don't know where I am going wrong but I'm really miserable.

I could aim to do low carbs as not tried to do anything with the type of foods I eat.

I'm 5ft 4
Between 12 - 12.4 stone
TDEE is 1715
I have been doing 1303 via My Net Diary
Did Nutracheck & was about 1400 on there but stopped paying after a year & no decent results
Thyroid normal
Off all contraception
Taking Sertaline (which I hope is not to blame as I need it)
I did loads of exercise in the Summer including C25K (had to give up week 7) but then started online exercise classes & no results so I stopped that as I hate all exercise so it's hard to stick at

I feel very unhappy. I only want to lose a stone. I want to fit into clothes better & feel confident & happy with the way I look but it seems impossible. I'm starving all the time on 1300 calories so would find going lower or fasting really tough so not sure what to do. Help me someone!

@DaddysGirl36 I actually find fasting easier
I basically don't have breakfast and fast for around 16-18hrs and then have lunch and tea

But because I'm not having breakfast or snacks, I can have two decent 600 calorie (for example) meals and I'm not fussing about "should I have an apple or this cereal bar.."
I'm either eating a meal, or I'm not eating

And yes it's tough, I'm 5ft 10 eating two "average" meals a day, exercising 4-6 times a week and losing about 0.5lbs a week if that but I find fasting sustainable

eeh, it's all depressing!
I have NO idea what all the facts & figures mean, I have one meal a day because my mobility isn't great so I'm not burning calories up.. still a fat bugger! 5' 4", 13 stone.. :-(

@ronaldcat you are living an eating disorder. 900cals is bad enough and in breastfeeding and it's downright dangerous. Tell your doctor and see what they think

I did the same, even told myself the same thing ‘I just don’t need as much food as some people’, was capable, got fantastic reviews at work, good grades while studying, bf my daughter and played with her, then collapsed and ended up in hospital.

Many eating disordered people are overachievers. Priding themselves on doing well. Being able to do these things doesn’t make 900 calories a day healthy or your regimen anything other than disordered.

Anyway- weightlifting people, anyone care to share their routine? I’d love to build up some strength in my arms and core, but struggle knowing where to begin.