Why can't I lose weight? Please help

[whoisthatpersoninthemirror]

I am 36. I was always naturally very slim, until I had my last child. After pregnancy I gained weight, I hadn't been able to eat well during pregnancy so not a lot of weight was gained.

But now 2 years later I can't lose it. I'm 22 pounds overweight.

I am calorie counting, writing everything down in an app, not eating sweets or chocolate, walking 10,000 steps a day, doing HIIT or strength training twice a week.

My weight isn't budging. I've been to the doctor and had bloods tests done, everything is fine apparently.

I don't recognise myself anymore and I'm tired of having to having to buy bigger clothes and feel like I'm hiding myself.

Please tell me what I'm doing wrong.

You’re wrong. Weight gain/loss is not about just the calories, it’s about a whole host of hormonal cascades and metabolic processes that happen when you eat.

1000 calories of junk food is not metabolically the same as 1000 calories of meat and veg so your calorie theory is immediately defunct.

Threads like this make my eyes bleed.

OP I’m a clinical nutritionist. Low calorie diets work at first but it’s really really hard to stick to unless you’re doing low carb as it’s far more satisfying. It’s almost impossible to keep the weight off and eat normally. As you can tell from other threads/posters the weight almost always goes back on and you have to cut again. It’s a hellish merry go round.

Keto can be done very easily without much meat. I have patients who are on vegetarian keto for neurological reasons and they almost always inevitably end up leaner.

Fuck me this thread is depressing.

I lose weight eating 1600 calories (and sometimes more!). I'm 5'1" as well.

I get 8 hours sleep a night. This makes a huge difference.
Intermittent fasting or timed eating 16:8 has again made more of a difference than what I eat
I do weights 3 times a week (you can lift heavier than you think you can and do a routine designed for men not women, theyre usually shorter and more effective!)
I walk for an hour 3 days a week as well

It doesn't fall off overnight. It takes time. It's taken me since January to lose 2 stone. But for me the 'long road' is actually the short one. I've done the whole only eating 1000 calories thing. That just leads to the binge and yo yo cycle. I do what I can realistically maintain forever. I don't binge eat anymore (huge for me!). I have given myself time and patience.

Sure do 1000 calories if you want. But trust me, my way is more fun.

Hope that aggressive comment wasn't directed at me! I said I need 1200 to lose weight. To LOSE weight. I.e. it is not my normal intake.

When I lost a lot of weight it is exactly what I did - 1200 for quite a few weeks - and it was extremely healthy and I've kept it off permanently as a result. I ate every 4 hrs, loads of good fat, protein, fibre, healthy carbs, vit supplements and exercised. My sleep got better, my skin got better, I felt happier and calmer and more energy.

Always surprises me when people speak with absolute authority about a subject they are not a specialist in.

I have been looking at the fasting board this week on Mumsnet. It has really helped/inspire both me and my husband.

Very gently wanted to add my voice to the chorus that are advocating against very low calorie intakes - they do mess with your body over time and create a cycle of metabolic processes / hormonal dysfunctions (leptin, grehlin, insulin) that set you in a very difficult vicious cycle.

Calories do matter - you still need to keep an eye out and work out a small 200-300 kcal deficit against your TDEE - but you need to play a long game and allow your weight to change s-l-o-w.

Best way to think is to make protein your priority at every meal, then carbs ( from whole food sources including vegetables) and then fat ( from decent sources).

Eggs, high protein yoghurts, fish, meat and legumes - protein powder too if needed.

Lifting weights is great - I bought digital dumbbells and do 40 minutes of weight training 3 times a week at home.

Have you stopped bfing?

miss breakfast (in the week)

yoghurt (full fat) with berries and and apples for lunch - maybe some granola on. Just keep it light for lunch. Small handful of nuts later if peckish. I have to eat fat tho or I feel starving.

Normal dinner but no seconds or pudding most of the time. When eating out have what you want but don’t do 3 courses ever. Even share a dessert. I’ve done low carb but feel
better with some carbs I just only really have them once a day in the week and have a normal portion of them.

30 min workout with weights and some cardio every other day. Walk as much as you can.

I also have oatmilk in my coffee and then let’s of herbal (not fruit tea).

Dont calorie count - snacks and wine at the weekend. Not in the week though.

Have you been tested for insulin resistance?
You could also try Ozempic. It stops the hunger signals

@Betahydroxybutyrate so do you think the poster I quoted lost weight eating as much as she says, going from a size 14 to a 10?

I put on weight during lockdown and decided in May that I needed to sort myself out. Got a calorie tracking app and joined the gym. I said I was basically sedentary (as I am, I WFH) and added on any gym workouts so I had more calories to play with on those days. I’m 37, 5’1” and the app said 1200 calories. I’ve lost 11kg now and I am in my healthy bmi range. I aimed for 300 cal breakfast, 400 cal lunch and 500 cal dinner. It’s been hard work but easier now I’m on maintenance calories (about 1450). I’ll find a typical meal day for you. Breakfast: oats, milk, nectarine, black coffee (260 cals). Lunch: soup, small pitta/bagel thin/very small amount cheese on whole grain toast, seedless easy peeler (360-400 cals). Dinner: pinch of nom/joe wicks/Jamie Oliver/Gousto recipe, anything around 500 cals, we’ve had some lovely meals and I meal prep/freeze A LOT so I can have easy dinners during the week. The day I’m looking at here I had salmon with a paste made of almonds, roasted peppers, chickpeas, parsley, with chorizo, sweet potato and sugar snap peas. I have to weigh everything as I didn’t have a clue about portion sizes. I also avoid processed food as much as I can (no cereal bars) and I never get low fat anything. Still use butter, olive oil (sparingly). Avoid added sugar for the most part and probably have a low-ish carb diet overall (certainly compared with before!). I feel a lot better now, have lots more energy, and have really enjoyed working out and getting stronger. Now I’m back on an even keel, I’ve had Sunday roasts and takeaways knowing I mainly eat healthily the rest of the time. Good luck, it’s not easy but it is worth it, or I should say you are worth it, you are worth looking after.

Not everyone can do low carb btw. It's gave me hives and "toilet issues". A balance of carbs and protein has always been better for me. 1200 cals is not starving yourself if you're short and fairly inactive. My TDE is only 1400-1500!

I've lost 15kg since January. It's been tough but got easier after I'd lost the first 5kg. Easier to move, more energy. I make sure I do at least 6000 steps/day, walk briskly take stairs, etc plus no refined sugar (1-2 pieces of fruit every day), lean proteins, lots of veg, lots of water (I carry a reusable bottle around), one serving of carbs per day. Of course I have treats occasionally but I'm careful.

Also, as it’s Friday I’m going to ask what your weekends are like? I find it fairly easy to stick to a plan in the week then relax a bit at weekends. Unfortunately the relaxing just undoes all the effort in the week as it averages it out over a week to be a nice steady maintain, rather than a loss.

You must eat breakfast! Have eggs, something high in protein. Perhaps with spinach or smoked salmon. You need to get your body going and fuel it. Are you noting down the coffees you are having? Every bit of oil, sauce etc. lots of hidden calories in those.

But i doesn't sound like you are eating a lot. I think you need to kick start your metabolism.

Did you get your thyroid checked?

How’s your sleep with two small kids? I only lose when I’m getting good sleep. However try moderate exercise rather than HIIT as it could be messing with your hormones enough to make borderline problems.

This is an easy one. You're only short (5ft 1), you're not doing much exercise (weights twice a week and no cardio aside from walking) and you eat 1500 calories a day.
I wouldn't lose on that and I'm 5ft 6.

So you have a choice - you can either eat less or you can burn more calories. The former is quicker and easier; the latter is more sustainable long term and is also great for your mental and physical health.

Obvious point, but if you were running 50 miles a week on top of your weights you would be much slimmer. Obviously you can't go from 0 to marathon- training levels of running overnight. But if you started c25k now then it would be a step on the way - and it really is fantastic for mental health as well.

I spent years being overweight before finally becoming fit and healthy - it takes a while but it is worth the long haul rather than the stress of short term fasting that can't be sustained.

I feel for people like you who seek help on forums like this, you get bombarded with all kinds of theories and conflicting advice which, trust me, are mostly wrong. Almost all of it.

Protein is important but it’s not your first priority and it’s not magic, eating protein based calories won’t magically turn into muscle or eliminate fat. We never grow more than our first year of life and breast milk is 6% protein. If you eat more than you burn, whatever it is will be stored as fat. Including protein.

We don’t eat in macronutrients, try not to think of food that way. It causes unhealthy food habits and a poor relationship with food.

You probably already knew what you needed to to eat well before you posted. Eat mostly whole foods with few highly refined foods, eat plenty of vegetables and fruit and less high fat, high salt or high refined sugar foods. Limit processed sugars, oils and don’t overdo the salt. Most people do. Calorie counting rarely works long term. It’s not normal to count either calories or macronutrients.

I would suggest you check your own blood tests. There’s an outside chance your thyroid might be struggling, the NHS sets a high bar to diagnose so plenty of women seek private help with it. They focus on TSH a thyroid stimulating hormone but not an actual thyroid hormone like free T3 or T4. So I’d check thyroid results yourself and I’d also check estrogen and testosterone levels.

For exercise best recommendation to burn fat is what’s known as ‘fasted cardio’, that is you wake up and exercise before you eat as you’ve fasted overnight. When I was newly diagnosed hypothyroid I lost the weight I gained undiagnosed for so long by doing that, alongside weights etc I learnt about it from a body builder, they really understand how to burn fat!

and you eat 1500 calories a day.

Please ignore posts like this. That’s not a lot of calories at all. If you want to exercise well you’ll need at least that. Stop calorie counting!! It’s not helpful

Have you tried intermittent fasting? It makes calorie cutting easier when you have less hours where you can eat?

Cadio is not everything. Indeed, I managed to lose 10 kilos without a scrap of cardio. The gym I trained at advised me to walk a lot, something I was already doing and swim a few times a week.
But out and out cardio, no, they were advocators of LISS and weights.

Weights, lifted correctly will raise the heart rate higher than cardio. It will keep it raised longer too. Weight training builds muscle which burns fat. It is a highly effective way to lose weight.

Ultimately, we are all different. OP just needs to figure out what works for her.
Starting with her diet is key though as one cannot out train a bad diet.

OP, meal planning is something I would recommend you consider along with intermittent fasting. Weight loss isn’t linear, so make small goals rather than aim for the full 22 pounds in one go - several small wins will make you feel really great and like you are really making progress.

Good luck, you can do it!

I recommend OMAD - one meal a day. I know it sounds completely crazy but it's actually brilliant. Google intermittent fasting and one meal a day. You can start by just reducing your eating window to, say, 6 hours, and go from there. It's life changing. The book Delay Don't Deny by Gin Stephens will tell you everything you need to know.

My eating window is 1.5 to 2 hours daily, and I eat whatever I want during that time. I'm the slimmest I've been post 35 and I don't feel at all deprived. It's the only way of eating I've ever been able to stick to, and I've tried loads.

I would get your thyroid checked as maybe it is under-active.

Secondly, you could trying doing 4 weeks without eating any carbs, just meat, fish, eggs, vegetables and fruit and see if there is any weight loss.

I ditched carbs and the weight just dropped off me.

Cadio is not everything. Indeed, I managed to lose 10 kilos without a scrap of cardio. The gym I trained at advised me to walk a lot, something I was already doing and swim a few times a week.
But out and out cardio

Walking and swimming is cardio, you are working your heart and lungs, you were doing a lot of cardio if you were swimming a few times a week.

The gym I trained at advised me to walk a lot, something I was already doing and swim a few times a week.
That is cardio!!! 🤦🏾‍♀️ HIIT is a more intense style of cardio but walking and swimming are, without a doubt, cardio exercises.

I never got on with calorie counting. I had to focus on feeling full with healthier stuff.

I think healthy fats keep you fuller as well as protien and fibre. So i get full fat yoghurt and I add nuts and seeds to things like salads or on soups, avacados, eggs and chickpeas seem filling too.

4 weeks without eating any carbs, just meat, fish, eggs, vegetables and fruit and see if there is any weight loss.

this is the kind of stuff you need to ignore. No carbs is bad. Your body needs carbs, more than anything else actually. Your brain function deteriorates pretty quickly without it.