Why can't I lose weight? Please help

[whoisthatpersoninthemirror]

I am 36. I was always naturally very slim, until I had my last child. After pregnancy I gained weight, I hadn't been able to eat well during pregnancy so not a lot of weight was gained.

But now 2 years later I can't lose it. I'm 22 pounds overweight.

I am calorie counting, writing everything down in an app, not eating sweets or chocolate, walking 10,000 steps a day, doing HIIT or strength training twice a week.

My weight isn't budging. I've been to the doctor and had bloods tests done, everything is fine apparently.

I don't recognise myself anymore and I'm tired of having to having to buy bigger clothes and feel like I'm hiding myself.

Please tell me what I'm doing wrong.

1200 calories here. Not much exercise, so lose very slowly.

For me:

no breakfast - one cup of tea or coffee with a small amount of sugar.
lunch - salad or sandwich totalling around 400 cals. Something sweet totalling 100 cals.
main meal - very small meal of around 400 cals plus something sweet at 100 cals.

A small treat or snack such as a packet of crisps or a small alcoholic drink.

If I exercise I allow myself something else perhaps but I don't exceed 1200 calories (I tend to eat back exercise calories).

Doable, but I need to focus constantly.

I'll be honest and probably torn apart here..

I eat once a day.

I never, ever eat breakfast.

Sometimes dinner is a ham and cheese toastie, or a 500 calorie ready meal - my local butchers does 16 ready meals for £40. They're all under 500 cal.

I have a few cups of coffee with milk and half a sugar throughout. Sometimes one of those low calorie cereal bars.

At this time of year I like vegetable soup with maybe one slice of crusty or wheaten.

I'm used to it now, I rarely get hungry.

I don't really have a meal plan

I have two small kids with me during the day so I try to eat things like a salad with tuna, a few cappuccinos to stay awake, a roll with ham, brown rice with chicken etc. I just eat less at dinner if I've had too many calories according to the app. If I have a few hundred left I'll eat yoghurt.

I have diastasis recti after pregnancy so I can't do huge weights. I follow online videos at home on the Peleton app using 5 kilo weights.

I've thought about joining a program like WW so it's all worked out for me but I don't like the way they have points. It's just another thing to add to my brain.
I've looked at other programs that are supposedly always easy and family friendly, only to find they're full of kale and collagen powders.

@DoodlePug - you need a calorie deficit to lose weight. It's a fact, not stupid. If you were eating as much as you say, I take that was in kilojoules?

What are your meals made up of? You burn more and stay fuller with protein than carbs. I forget the exact science but your body uses three times as much energy burning protein than it does carbs, so if you ate 100kcal of carbs it would take 3 x more energy to burn than 100kcal of protein. That helps weight loss. It’s also why protein keeps you feeling full for longer.

If you aren’t a big meat eater, look at increasing things like eggs, Greek yogurt, chicken, fish, tofu, pulses etc - and cutting back on carbs.

You should be aiming for 1g of protein for every kg of your weight. So if you weigh 60kg, aim to eat 60g of protein per day.

so..22lb overweight? Medically overweight or over what you would like to be? I mean, that’s a stone and a half. At mid thirties you do get heavier sometimes. Does it matter that much? I read these posts, like the posts saying eat less that 1000 calories, eat flavourless food , live on lentils and just think… why?? For what?? Exercise to be fit, keep your heart healthy, be able to run upstairs, don’t get obese, but beyond that don’t you want to enjoy your life? I would rather be a stone and a half over my ideal weight and enjoy delicious food than obsess over every mouthful and eat dust.

I am technically obese. If I lost 3 kilos I'd be at the high end of my bmi.
I definitely won't ever be my ideal weight, I'm not 20 anymore. But I'd definitely like to fit in my pre pregnancy clothes. There are even clothes I bought not long after birth that no longer fit.

Probably too many carbs by the sounds. I didn't realise it mattered so much as long as I kept within the calories.

Thank you, that was helpful.

A few cappuccinos is quite a lot of calories. Try ordinary black coffee with some cold milk.

I'd say you need closer to 1200 than 1500, I'm taller than you and I maintain on 1500. Id need to eat less to lose. You could do an extra workout session a week too. And make sure you aren't eating all carbs and that you've got good fats and proteins in your food every day.

Prioritise protein and fibre and slow releasing carbs.

Agree with the veg. I have half a 1kg bag of frozen veg (normally broccoli/cauliflower) on my plate with dinner most days.

Personally I can't do fasting. I get hungry in the mornings and WFH in a job that needs concentration so even 16:8, my mornings were unproductive as I was clock watching.

I have to work out everyday. If I don't work out my fitbit says I burn 1500-1600 calories, even with 10k steps. I just can't get the deficit I need without working out. I have a rebounder that I use while watching netflix and depending on my tasks I can even do it while working, with my laptop set up on the kitchen worktop. Ypu can try it while just browsing FB or MN.

Yesterday I got absorbed in work, forgot I was rebounding and "accidentally" burned 3300 calories for the day

Highly recommend looking into Team RH. You can find them on Facebook... he's full on and deadly honest so if easily offended I might not be for you!!! I have lost 2 stone since January and I am now maintaining the weight loss.

They work out the number of calories you should be having along with exercise etc.

I'm 49 and in the best shape I have ever been.

Once you've worked out your meal plan, get used to being hungry. It's perfectly OK to let your stomach growl for a bit, nothing bad will happen!

A big drink of water, herbal tea, sugarfree gum might help tide you over to the next meal, as will keeping active and busy. You don't need special food to 'feel full' or snacks to plug gaps between meals. As an added bonus, if you wait until you're really ravenous you'll enjoy your food more.

It gets better over time. Once you're a couple of weeks in and your body's used to the new regime it will stop nagging you for food in between.

No one should be eating 1200 cals a day, let alone 1000, you've fucked your metabolisms and aren't fuelling your bodies

1500 sounds about right for your height. Are you definitely eating 1500 cals? Are you weighing everything? Especially oils/butter/condiments/peanut butter etc. the high cal bits are the bits that need weighing every time

Ensure you're eating 100g protein a day to maintain lean muscle and increase satiety

I follow Emma Story-Gordon and listen to her podcasts. She's brilliant

I'm 44, five foot, around 50 kg, and I lose weight at 1500 calories. I eat carbs - in fact I eat everything - just not that much of it. But I am very muscular and I think that makes a huge difference. Anything you can do to build muscle would be helpful.

Two things that occur to me-
Are you actually working our the cals or depending on the app to do it?
Are you weighing your portions or eyeballing it?

You might be underestimating the cals in some of your food.

I am 4 stone down, over a couple of years, and when I am actively losing weight I work off 1300 cals a day. I weigh everything and work out cals, everything is written down.

I don't eat meat/dairy but I can eat 3 decent meals. I have rice/potatoes every day, so I don't think you necessarily have to avoid carbs, but the amount you get for 200 cals is a lot smaller than you'd think.

So maybe stick to your current meals and food for another week, but literally weigh/measure/write everything down. Include any cooking oil, dashes of milk, bits of ketchup etc.

After a few days you might find that XYZ isn't "worth" the cals, so find a more satisfying swap.

I'm going to say the opposite of nearly all of these sad hungry people posts. All this horrific restriction being spoken of is a recipe for ruining metabolism and yo-yo ing and reactionary binge eating. The simplistic calorie defecit is a myth - eating too few calories can put your body into fat-storing mode instead of fat-burning because it doesn't think it'll get more food.

You need to eat more and more often! Look up intuitive eating.

Work out your TDEE (total daily energy expenditure) then knock off 500 calories to be in a calorific deficit. You can use a website like this tdeecalculator.net/ You need to be in a deficit of 3,500 over a week to lose 1lb. Everybody is different so the whole eating 1,500 (which is 500 less than 2000) just won't work for everyone. Totally depends on your current size/weight and how active you are. I've lost around 3 stone since May by doing this. Hope that helps! Good luck!

Are you adding in the calories from your cappuccinos? If you have several a day (and believe me I understand the need for caffeine with young kids) it could be adding a lot. Could you switch to black coffee, or black coffee with just a splash of milk?

I’m 5”3 and lost weight with intermittent fasting - there’s a thread on here about it, the 5:2 method. It’s uncomplicated and works. I’ve since started eating like a horse again so need you get back on it.

Get your thyroid blood test checked

I have slowly lost 12lbs in the past 4 months, it's not a lot but it's noticeable. The last 4lbs have been the hardest to lose. I don't have breakfast have a fairly light lunch, and have a normal dinner. Still drink and workout 5x a week

A few cappuccinos could be 3-400 calories.

I'm 5'3 and 11 stone at present, down from 11.5. I need 1100 calories to lose 1 pound per week. It's just how it is. Porridge for breakfast, salad for lunch and a veg heavy dinner. No snacks. water and black coffee only!!! I walk and cycle lots so usually have 300 ish calories to "play" with.

This seems no way to live, are you overweight?