Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Is it weird for both parents to attend a kids party?!

123 replies

doingitalllagain · 20/10/2022 20:33

First kids party we've been invited to and I don't know what the done thing is, but I'm pretty pregnant and big/uncomfortable/knackered and taking my 3 year old and it's a 30 min drive each way and I'm not feeling my best so my husband is saying we'll go together so he can drive/help out if 3yo is a bit shy/clingy/upset (he can be in busy situations) Is that weird?

OP posts:
NotLactoseFree · 21/10/2022 11:01

Givenhud · 21/10/2022 10:58

I always think it's weird when both parents go to kids party. The other one could be relaxing or doing something more productive at home. There was one a few weeks ago where not only had both parents come but also brought two siblings with them! Why?

I go to gymnastics with my son at 9am on a Saturday and even then people turn up with both parents. They just take up unnecessary room.

Send your husband.

Oh yes, the two parents at gymnastic things. Of all the activities my DC have done, it is ONLY gymnastics where this happens. To be fair, it's also the one that's on a Saturday, so maybe that's why.

During Covid it was a huge issue. The club would ask for no more than one parent, and only for the youngest classes. Both parents would turn up.... At 9 am? In our house it was a strict, "your turn to do the crack of dawn gymnastics run" process.

Thinkbiglittleone · 21/10/2022 11:04

It's only a couple of hours out your weekend. One can take the dc, the other can get the boring essential jobs done then the rest of the weekend is free to enjoy. A noisy kids party isn't exactly quality time

Of course that's an option if that how you feel about kids parties. I was just saying it's not weird at all as lots want that weekend time together. At our DSs we had a 3 "sets" of parents arrive, one was saying they don't get time to see their kid engage with their mates so took the opportunity to sit together enjoying seeing their kid with her mates.
The others sat having a nice cake and a cuppa together for an hour or so, I would prefer that to boring "weekend jobs"(?)

We don't "need" both of us going to our DS swimming lessons, but we do, as we both like seeing him swim, it's just personal preference.

Anniefrenchfry · 21/10/2022 11:29

AndTwoFilmsByFrancoisTruffaut · 21/10/2022 10:06

Currently pregnant and DH and I will be attending these sort of events together as weekends are our time off together, why would we want to spend such precious time apart when we can be together as a family? That seems v weird to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

Gosh, you don’t do anything independently? It’s all precious time ?

id cringe myself inside out if my husband said this and he couldn’t even be apart from me for a couple of hours,

kids parties are for the kids it’s not a family day out. It’s not a family invitation.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3 year olds Families
Marblessolveeverything · 21/10/2022 11:35

Well isn't this a perfect opportunity for your DH to meet the nursery gang! Sit at home have tea and chill!

They would be unusual around here for both parents to attend- however it is widely accepted that this is to give the other parent a bit of free time!

reluctantbrit · 21/10/2022 11:46

NotLactoseFree · 21/10/2022 10:00

Definitely send your DH. He doesn't know anyone so this is a great opportunity to meet some of the other parents. And once the baby is here, he's definitely going to have to do the parties etc while you are at home with the baby so he may as well get used to it now.

Also, personally, I absolutely hate it when both parents arrive at a party. And usually, it makes me question the relationship because it just feels so controlling, "oooh, we must do this together because the other one can't be left alone".

OHG, you would think the worst of us.

DH and I often do things together, like shopping, watching DD at her riding lesson, stayed at a party when she was younger. I drew the line at swimming as I found the pool too noisy and the air awful so as soon as she was old enough to change on her own, DH did the driving.

With work and DD, these times are actually quite useful, we chat, plan the day, write a shopping list, we even booked a holiday once.

Parties - if DH would have gone on his own, he most likely wouldn't have chatted to other parents. With me it meant I opened a conversation with other parents I alreay knew and DH joined easier than if he would have been on his own.
Saying that, after a year or so, DD happily waived us off. And we never stayed at cramped venues or people's houses, just soft play and larger hall type parties.

ChocFrog · 21/10/2022 11:48

At our parties there are always a few couples where both parents come. It’s unusual but not extremely so. I’m usually jealous of their marriages 👀 my DH can’t wait for me and DC to pop out for a couple of hrs, chances of him wanting to come to a kids bday party with us are low!

StrataZon · 21/10/2022 11:50

kids parties are for the kids it’s not a family day out. It’s not a family invitation.

This^

MarigoldMoonStone · 21/10/2022 12:04

I went to 3 yr old party recently and there were some kids with both parents, I didn’t think anything of it. Depends on the size of the venue I suppose, if it’s small it’s probably a bit of a pain if you both go.

Foxhassmellysocks · 21/10/2022 17:40

It's an unpopular opinion but I actually quite like the parties. I like seeing DC playing and interacting with the other kids and have got to know some parents quite well. We aren't from this area so it's been nice to now have local friends.

This is how we feel too. Due to Covid we are not allowed in nursery so this is the only chance to see how she interacts with other nursery kids.

thaegumathteth · 22/10/2022 01:59

I wouldn't think badly of anyone that came together but I did have a family who brought mum, dad and all the siblings and demolished the buffet before anyone else got a look in.

That was both weird and annoying.

afinishedkiss · 26/01/2023 14:27

If it's a soft play area or village hall it's not too bad, it really only takes one parent but if two come, it's no skin of anyone's nose.

BUT

If you rock up with your husband in tow to a kids party at someone's house....that is all kinds of rude. Like someone said above, it is NOT a family day out. Your child has been invited to a party and obviously needs a parent there to accompany them depending on their age...they do NOT need two adults cramping up people's living room because they want "precious time" together. Don't even start me on bringing siblings. That is rude on a whole other level. Mortified for anyone who would do this. Whole families turning up because one kid was invited to a tea party in an average sized house. C
ringe.

Kennykenkencat · 26/01/2023 15:07

Normally it is a bit strange but in your circumstances as a one off if you just want to sit and chat then perfectly fine.

Just don’t get into the habit of it.

Dont become that couple who never go anywhere without each other.

Everyone I am sure knows one couple who do this

Kennykenkencat · 26/01/2023 15:16

It's an unpopular opinion but I actually quite like the parties. I like seeing DC playing and interacting with the other kids and have got to know some parents quite well. We aren't from this area so it's been nice to now have local friends

Same

I didn’t have a Dh to take dc to parties even when he was back from working away.

EmotionallyUnavailableGuacamole · 26/01/2023 15:57

I tend to go with DH (when he’s not working) purely because I am disabled and don’t get to do much fun stuff. I can’t physically manage on my own, so we go together, that way I get to see DC having fun and get to feel a bit more a part of his life outside of home. I wouldn’t give it a second thought if two parents turned up to the DCs party.
It helps that all parties so far have been village hall type things, so I’m guessing it will be different for parties at home.

Anniefrenchfry · 26/01/2023 16:03

I think thr other thing to note is the ops language, I see it quite a lot. The first party “we” have been invited to. When this is not the case. The invite was for rhe child.

I do think some folks read it and think ooh we’ve been invited to a party. When it’s no, read the invite. It’s little Jimmy has been invited, one parent goes to support. But it is not a whole family invite

LovelyIssues · 27/01/2023 17:59

Bit weird, I'd just send him

BetiYeti · 27/01/2023 18:04

Hopefully the party has been and gone, since OP started this thread in October.

Gj41 · 16/07/2023 11:26

Is it ok for a grandparent to come with me to a party my son has been invited to it's in a church hall and my mum wants to come with us

Twonewcats · 16/07/2023 11:31

Gj41 · 16/07/2023 11:26

Is it ok for a grandparent to come with me to a party my son has been invited to it's in a church hall and my mum wants to come with us

of course it is! It's not like you're being made food etc.
I used to love going to kids parties, and my husband always came too, and we'd buy a cuppa/cake etc if it was in soft play and make an afternoon of it.

Twonewcats · 16/07/2023 11:32

Kennykenkencat · 26/01/2023 15:07

Normally it is a bit strange but in your circumstances as a one off if you just want to sit and chat then perfectly fine.

Just don’t get into the habit of it.

Dont become that couple who never go anywhere without each other.

Everyone I am sure knows one couple who do this

why on earth is it strange?!
And in my case, I work every second weekend, so actually yeah, I don't see a problem with me and my husband doing everything together on my weekends off

Iloveacurry · 16/07/2023 11:33

Just send your DH! You don’t need to go.

LadyHelenaJustina · 16/07/2023 11:38

I always saw my children’s parties as an opportunity to get to know other parents too, and liked it when both came.

Noshowlomo · 16/07/2023 11:42

Yup, two of us taking my son today. Huge hall, loads of seating for parents. Often two parents come. No issues.
probably weird in a small party at home

New posts on this thread. Refresh page