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Original poster

Is it weird for both parents to attend a kids party?!

123 replies

doingitalllagain · 20/10/2022 20:33

First kids party we've been invited to and I don't know what the done thing is, but I'm pretty pregnant and big/uncomfortable/knackered and taking my 3 year old and it's a 30 min drive each way and I'm not feeling my best so my husband is saying we'll go together so he can drive/help out if 3yo is a bit shy/clingy/upset (he can be in busy situations) Is that weird?

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 21/10/2022 08:56

I’m assuming for families with more than one child it is harder for both parents to go unless siblings are invited too.

DH and I would go to parties together if we knew the other parents and have a catch up

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 21/10/2022 08:59

When Gdcs were younger, both parents often came to their birthday parties - dd and SiL were quite happy to see them - and it was the parents who would hoover up the vast majority of the little sandwiches I used to make.

Macbeth8 · 21/10/2022 09:21

Me and Dh ususally go together as he works away alot. So any family time is precious. Luckily, alot of the other parents know dhs situation so no one minds (I think) or says anything!
It isnt the norm as most parents are solo but there is one set of parents who always come together. I think its nice
Also, we also ask if we can bring dds younger sibling so one ususally stays entertaining her and other mingles with the parents etc

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3 year olds Families
DreamingofItaly2023 · 21/10/2022 09:23

Not weird at a public venue such as a soft play etc, more unusual at someone’s house and it could become very cramped.

Macbeth8 · 21/10/2022 09:43

For posters saying its weird, people will have their own circumstances..Id love nothing but to have a few hours to myself whilst dh ferries the kids to parties but for us its important we spend time as a family as dh works away alot.
Also, I have bad GAD and get really anxious being in social situations I am not comfortable with. Especially if I dont know other parents so i admit Ive asked dh to tag along with me for this reason. And I bet this is why other parents do it as well not knowing anyone.

MrsPear · 21/10/2022 09:43

I don’t understand why you need to go. Bit Weird.

FlounderingFruitcake · 21/10/2022 09:48

Birthday parties are usually whole family social affairs in our circles. There’s usually drinks and snacks put on for the parents too. Siblings all welcome. It’s nice actually! But apparently not the norm according to responses on here…

StrataZon · 21/10/2022 09:50

Unless there are additional needs treating it like a family time day out is thoughtless to the host.
Imagine if the host hired a hall and planned for 20 children and 20 accompanying adults and 6 of those came as a whole family, mum, dad, siblings? Instead of accommodating 40 there would be over 50

Lykia · 21/10/2022 09:57

It's not weird at all. Only in MN world would people think it's weird. I've hosted lots of kids parties and both parents have turned up. I didn't think anything of it.

NotLactoseFree · 21/10/2022 10:00

Definitely send your DH. He doesn't know anyone so this is a great opportunity to meet some of the other parents. And once the baby is here, he's definitely going to have to do the parties etc while you are at home with the baby so he may as well get used to it now.

Also, personally, I absolutely hate it when both parents arrive at a party. And usually, it makes me question the relationship because it just feels so controlling, "oooh, we must do this together because the other one can't be left alone".

AndTwoFilmsByFrancoisTruffaut · 21/10/2022 10:06

Currently pregnant and DH and I will be attending these sort of events together as weekends are our time off together, why would we want to spend such precious time apart when we can be together as a family? That seems v weird to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

AndTwoFilmsByFrancoisTruffaut · 21/10/2022 10:08

NotLactoseFree · 21/10/2022 10:00

Definitely send your DH. He doesn't know anyone so this is a great opportunity to meet some of the other parents. And once the baby is here, he's definitely going to have to do the parties etc while you are at home with the baby so he may as well get used to it now.

Also, personally, I absolutely hate it when both parents arrive at a party. And usually, it makes me question the relationship because it just feels so controlling, "oooh, we must do this together because the other one can't be left alone".

Weird attitude Confused

Maybe some parents love to spend time together. Only on MN would someone read something sinister into it 😂

Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday · 21/10/2022 10:10

100% send him and put your feet up

Thinkbiglittleone · 21/10/2022 10:13

It's not unusual at all.
If you are both happy to go, then do it.

If however you would love to take advantage of the quiet and snuggle up at home, I'm sure Dad can go on his own and grab a quiet coffee Smile

catbirddogchild · 21/10/2022 10:14

Send husband alone with 3 year old. Honestly your rest time is valuable in late pregnancy with a toddler. We used to take it in turns until they got to the drop and run age ( reception)

Thinkbiglittleone · 21/10/2022 10:15

AndTwoFilmsByFrancoisTruffaut · 21/10/2022 10:06

Currently pregnant and DH and I will be attending these sort of events together as weekends are our time off together, why would we want to spend such precious time apart when we can be together as a family? That seems v weird to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

This was my thinking, weekends are the main time some families get together.

liveforsummer · 21/10/2022 10:22

It depends on the circumstances. In this one it's weird in that you, heavily pregnant and struggling should have to go and be helped by your husband when you could stay home with your feet up and he go. You'll go to plenty parties where you don't know anyone over they years and if you can do it so can he

liveforsummer · 21/10/2022 10:24

This was my thinking, weekends are the main time some families get together.

It's only a couple of hours out your weekend. One can take the dc, the other can get the boring essential jobs done then the rest of the weekend is free to enjoy. A noisy kids party isn't exactly quality time

CookPassBabtridge · 21/10/2022 10:30

If it's a village hall/social club we've usually gone together, they're boring and sensory overload so it's nice to have someone to chat to, most families do the same.
Been to quite a few on my own too but I knew some of the mums to sit with.

NotLactoseFree · 21/10/2022 10:34

If a kids party is your idea of family time, then okay, I stand corrected. But I really don't understand. You're either in your own little world chatting to each other and playing with your child in which case, you're being rude and not really engaging with the party. Or you're at the party, talking to other parents, letting your child run with their friends etc. In which case it's not exactly quality time. Hence my original point - it's NOT quality family time so why the feeling you all have to go is beyond me.

I'm with a PP, especially when you only have 1 child, it's a great opportunity for the other parent to get a little down time and/or get on with any chores that need doing so that the rest of the weekend genuinely can be spent doing things as a family.

NCHammer2022 · 21/10/2022 10:36

I don’t think it’s a problem for both to go, although relatively unusual in my experience. But I do wonder why they both come when it’s the perfect opportunity for one parent to have 90 minutes/2 hours to themselves. Send DH and have a nap, I’m sure he’ll cope!

boredOf · 21/10/2022 10:51

Both can go of course they can.

FreestyleInTrance · 21/10/2022 10:54

It's totally normal where I am... at my daughter's most recent party (5th birthday) we had 11 families attending and 8 of them brought both parents. We had hired a venue though!

In general I found the 2 parent groups easier... we had lots of people who didn't really know each other (friends from 2 different nurseries, new school, NCT, children of my own friends etc.) and it was the parents who came on their own who I felt needed the most hosting!

liveforsummer · 21/10/2022 10:58

People really don't need hosted at a kids party though. Grown adults are more than capable of deciding whether to make conversation with others, sit in the corner on their phone or watch their dc etc

Givenhud · 21/10/2022 10:58

I always think it's weird when both parents go to kids party. The other one could be relaxing or doing something more productive at home. There was one a few weeks ago where not only had both parents come but also brought two siblings with them! Why?

I go to gymnastics with my son at 9am on a Saturday and even then people turn up with both parents. They just take up unnecessary room.

Send your husband.