Spiteful bastard washing machine

[Whatevergetsyouthroughthenight]

I put my washing machine on late last night as the weather forecast was good for today and I wanted to dry stuff on the line outside.

While waiting for my tea to brew first thing this morning I went outside (dressing gown and back door shoes, not really awake yet) to put up the line and then went to get the washing out of the machine.

Bastard thing disgorged water all over the floor when I opened the door.

I slammed the door shut, mopped up the water (all before first cup of tea of the morning, I’m British so this clearly shows you the full horror of this happening at this time).

With some trepidation I set the washing machine to drain. Oh yes, it said, no problem!

I then tried spin, still working fine.

No power cut (my poncy ovens go to factory settings if the power is off for a nano second and they were fine. Unless they are in league with the washing machine of course).

My only conclusion is that my washing machine is a spiteful bastard. Anyone else got spiteful appliances?

@Badger1970 what kind of special halfwit turns a washing machine off that’s clearly washing? 😄

Lol. 😂 Luckily for me it was the weekend and I had a few drinks t pass the time. I don't even know how to drain mine. Once it's on, it's on.

My toaster is malevolent. It disgorges either white flabby hot bread, or offerings burnt to a cinder.

Am laughing, but really, why do we bother? It was (maginally) easier without the dang things!

My son used to put medicated talc on his feet following an infection. I used to hoover his bedroom carpet a lot because of this.
My Henry Hoover exploded in the hall, blowing white powder. Everywhere.
Bastard.

Oh, mines an irritating beep beep beep -come on woman, I've finished ☹️

My poxy dishwasher has been an utter a-hole this week. Two cycles later & I'm taking out cups still with tea stains on. I find the washing tablet undisolved & stuck to the door! I had to hand wash my plates. Hand wash! 😆

My washing machine is bone idle.
It gets halfway through a thirty minute wash and decides to have a rest!
It continues to rest until you turn it completely off for a few minutes to reset it, then you have to set it going again from the beginning.
The bone idle bugger!

On a side note, I don't use the dispenser drawer for the dishwasher tablets, I just throw them straight into the machine.

My dishwasher frequently gives me the E15 because it wants me to drag its heavy ass out and tilt it to a 45 degree angle as it thinks it can't drain.
This resets the error.
How it laughs.

My fridge is an impatient and bossy fucker. Within mere seconds after I open it to put away the weekly shop it’s beeping constantly at me “I’m open, I’m open “

I KNOW YOU’RE FUCKING OPEN BECAUSE I OPENED YOU TO PUT THE BASTARD SHOPPING AWAY!!!!!!

If it is Samsung, you can turn the song off ( though mine plays a few bars of the Trout, which is so upmarket that i marvel at it every time)

it makes an increasingly load and Whitney (I means whiney, though it’s may be the same thing,was she the one who died in the bath?) noise when running now, which I think may be a bad sign.

at least it doesn’t yet fuse every appliance in the house like the Bosch dishwasher though.

If anyone has a whirlpool zen, does anyone know why the start the wash button flashes slowly on and off, but does not actually start the wash when pressed ?

We have to be kind to the moody bastard printers. Don't tut at them, don't swear at them and, whatever you do, don't be a dick and slam the doors, drawers and bits inside them because there's an infinitesimally small fragment of paper left behind when you ripped the jammed sheets out - because you will break the tiniest tab or microswitch that will cost megabucks for an engineer to come out sometime between 8am and March 2067 to replace.

The machines will remember the insults and brutality when it was actually down to some twat unlocking the paper guide (because they were too important to put an entire ream in there carefully) and then slamming 17 crumpled bits of A4 in at an angle.

They remember. They watch. And they will rise.

(Terminator theme plays in the background)

@NeverDropYourMooncup I AM kind - I don't let it hear me muttering threats & (increasingly worse) swear words.. I am kind when I drop it off at the local charity shop (I tell them it's temperamental) & I am kind when I order the next bastard one from Argos.. rinse & repeat..
I think they are all related, tbh, whatever brand they are. They send secret messages to each other. They WILL rise, you're so right.
#scared

@Maireas .. the Henry.. OMG! Am so sorry I laughed.. FAR too much..

This was about six years ago.
I'm still coming across bits of white talc.....😂

Oh bless you, @Maireas ! :-)

Our appliances are good as gold.

I think the reason behind this is that DH is an electronics engineer. Any jiggery pokery from the white goods will result in his attention turning towards them with a soldering iron and side cutters.

We got a lovely kettle in a beautiful finish that was capable of heating water to different set temperatures, which was handy if you need water heated to 85℃. We don't actually, we drink a ton of tea so 100℃ is needed to keep us chirpy. But the kettle started to think we didn't want the water to be boiling after all. Or even remotely hot. The foolish, foolish, thing. It was taken away to The Garden Office Where The Big Lathes And Mills Are Kept With a Gazillion Spare Components. The kettle came back chastened. It now only boils water to 100℃ and looks permanently on edge.

I feel the other appliances know when they need to toe the line. If they need a reminder, I'll tell them about the printer that backed up the biggest print queue ever and what happened to that. And the Whirlpool freezer who got its array taken to work and had all new additional circuit boards added. Ha! That learned it...

I have a Candy smart touch that does this! Have to give door a good thump to get it going then it only dries for 10 minutes.