Spiteful bastard washing machine

[Whatevergetsyouthroughthenight]

I put my washing machine on late last night as the weather forecast was good for today and I wanted to dry stuff on the line outside.

While waiting for my tea to brew first thing this morning I went outside (dressing gown and back door shoes, not really awake yet) to put up the line and then went to get the washing out of the machine.

Bastard thing disgorged water all over the floor when I opened the door.

I slammed the door shut, mopped up the water (all before first cup of tea of the morning, I’m British so this clearly shows you the full horror of this happening at this time).

With some trepidation I set the washing machine to drain. Oh yes, it said, no problem!

I then tried spin, still working fine.

No power cut (my poncy ovens go to factory settings if the power is off for a nano second and they were fine. Unless they are in league with the washing machine of course).

My only conclusion is that my washing machine is a spiteful bastard. Anyone else got spiteful appliances?

Mine always lies about how long it's got left, I will be stood there thinking brilliant! 2 minutes left, I can sort it before I need to dash off... 10 minuted later and it still says 2 minutes. Makes me want to smash through the door with the clothes prop just to get the washing out 😖

A couple of times mine has made a really nasty siren type noise on and on - it is some sort of alert pretending it can’t fill itself or empty itself, or it wants some sort of attention. Once reset it shuts up and no problem is evident.
Such neediness, it’s only got one job to do.
other times it likes to just sip at the fabric conditioner rather than drink the lot leaving a load in the drawer

My oven. Cuts out and trips the fuse if you so much as sniff near it.

Desperate for it to blow up altogether but it will undoubtably go on for effing years...

@Cakeandponies @onepieceoflollipop The washing machines are clearly planning a revolution and @inthemiddlepiggyinthemiddle they are in league with the ovens.

My washing machine is playing the innocent now, with great trepidation I put another wash on, absolutely fine. Two faced bloody appliance.

I think you should LTB. Kick him (must be a him!) to the kerb!!!!!

There are better ones out there (hopefully). What do I know? I use laundrettes!

Good advice. I am off to stay with my DP (LDR) and taking my dirty laundry with me! That’ll show the bastard!

Dishwasher - not matter how often I put a table in the slot in the door and switch on the table is always intact when I open it after I come home for work.

My cleaner however put it on before she left yesterday afternoon and I come home a few hours later to find the more bubbles still in it than I'd ever seen in a dishwasher before

The fucking thing hates me

Can I swap you? I’ll take your spiteful bastard for my underwire eating machine

My dishwasher only releases the tablet in the last 5-10 mins of the cycle so all my plates are speckled with crusty tablet.

My washing machine timer says 2 hours but it means 3. Bastard.

My coffee machine froths milk too hot. (Ok that's my fault for ignoring it but it's on the list now.)

Mine is a washer dryer steamer thing. For some reason the rubber seal gets covered in lint so a black wash often comes out covered in white fluff. The wash dry run takes over 4 hours. I don't get it. Why so long? I only use it for towels then I've got to run a drum clean cycle due to all the lint. It's annoying.

Mine beeps when I press the start button, as if it's going to start, but then sometimes changes its mind and doesn't bother.

Other times, it does start, but decides to use a different program.

I think it's having its own personal struggles though because it's also eaten all the bumps off its internal rubber seals around the door.

This thread is really funny.

Dishwashers that don't release the tablet is a whole other thread in itself!!

Honestly - the amount of times I've made sure the tablet compartment is bone dry - so it doesn't stick, make sure it's not being blocked by anything! Basically built a fucking clear path to pop and go!

Nope. Open the dishwasher to steam and a full tablet pasted into the side of a wine glass! Has washed bugger all!!!

Henry is a spiteful bastard at times. Loves to get stuck on every corner he can find.

Then he looks at you with that smug face of his whilst you are pulling his hose.

Oh boy, that last part sounded wrong 😂

Ha. Yes. I've had this numerous times. Just to add, my washing machine is Russian. I am not. Google translate is my best friend.

My washing machine lies about how long it's got left and it does this thing where when I press the start button if I don't watch it load water it will switch off and pretend I never pressed start.

My dishwasher pretends it's not working then when I open it it will start to spray water but then because I've opened it it immediately stops and refuses to work. It hates me.

And my ex hoover the shark was evil, it would deliberately spit rubbish on the floor, and it would wait till I switched it off and took it back to the cupboard then it would release a trail of crumbs. The house seemed to look worse after I'd hoovered. I was so happy when he died.

After putting up with a shark I've forgiven Henry and his drama queen ways!!

autienotnaughty

I had to laugh when you said on your post above you were so happy when he died 😂

My tumble drier has a touch screen for its main function buttons.
If I'm in a rush, it refuses to acknowledge my finger on the start button and just sits flashing at me asking if I want it to go. I have to pretend I don't care, that I'm not busy and try all of my fingers before it agrees to begin. It knows. Oh it knows.

Mine too. I have no idea what the all flashing lights mean so just have to keep opening and closing the door until it deems it an acceptable time to actually dry stuff.

Sometimes it goes for 5 minutes then just gives up again. And the auto sensor doesn't work so it'll pretend it's done with a pile of damp washing inside.

I hate it with a passion but couldn't actually live without the needy little shit

Sometimes Eufy will deliberately go to the top of the stairs and hang one wheel off the top, then ping my phone with a HELP IM STUCK message, so I have to stop what I'm doing to rescue him.

He's very passive aggressive and stonewalls me when I ask him what I did to piss him off that he would do that.

You’re treating it wrong! My washing machine is 20 years old, and I reckon the main reason it’s still trucking along is because I frequently pat it and tell it I love it. Plus I say thank you after every load. That machine has never put a foot wrong.

whereas I am permanently at war with my smug bastard dishwasher that randomly turns itself off and amuses itself flipping all my glasses upside down so they’re full of water at the end of a cycle. Bloody hate the dratted thing.

If you like this thread, you'll love 'Household objects that are pricks' in Classics
www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/3058228-household-objects-that-are-pricks

And while we're at it, my bloody dishwasher that stopped working, except every time we paid an extortionate call out fee to an electrician (three times) when the sparky would push its buttons and the bastard would smugly work perfectly. Exit electrician, shrugging and pocketing the tenners.

I'm going to rip the bastard out and use the space for a booze cupboard.

My kettle and I are not on the best of terms. He was so friendly when he first moved in with his lardy bloody da “keep warm” function but now he’s taking the piss

He now insists on staying in “keep warm” mode when I dont want him to and can hear the fucker boiling at random times eating my electricity
I have to turn him off at the plug to shut the fucker up

Hes just not welcome anymore. I don’t know if he’s evil or just overstepping his mark.

🤣🤣🤣