This happened a couple of days ago, but I've been alternately laughing and cringing whenever I think of it ever since.
I've been suffering from an intense and horrible itch on my chest, torso, neck and arms. No antihistamines or creams would touch it, I'm on the waiting list already for an allergy test through the public system (I'm in Australia) but got so desperate that I decided to visit a private dermatologist.
Went to the appointment with a pre-written sheet of the relevant info as it's all a bit convoluted. The doctor seemed very nice, a softly spoken man who let me get through my essay, but made me feel like I'd maybe wasted his time by sharing a lot of extraneous info, so I was already feeling a little flustered which always makes me talk and laugh a bit too much.
So, here's the bit where I showed myself up. Dr asked me if I was wearing a bra, and if so could I take my top off so he can see the extent of the problem. I had failed to factor in that he may want me to disrobe, as I thought he could just look at my neck and chest (it all looks the same.) I am large, with big boobs, and hadn't mentally prepared to be seen in all my glory (shame?) by a strange man just before school pickup!
But I said, with a bonhomie that I was far from feeling, "Sure, no worries," and then remembered that I was wearing a bodysuit under my t-shirt. Laughingly I said, "Oh, I'm wearing a bodysuit, hold on," and, standing up, I plunged my hand too quickly down the front of my trousers and started trying to undo the snaps, which I can only imagine made me appear to be playing with myself. Having stood up too quickly and tried so hard to remain nonchalant, I realised that my foot had become entangled in the strap of my handbag, so I stood on one foot in the middle of the room, one hand desperately fiddling around my fanny, and the other leg shaking the strap off.
Of course, all this time I was talking and laughing, trying to show just how very unconcerned I was by the whole fiasco, whilst mentally asking myself what the hell I thought I was playing at.
Finally, I get the top and bodysuit off, and stand there in my (massive, old) bra and hear the doctor say, "Oh, you were wearing a bodysuit? They're a good idea, aren't they?"
So, he hadn't heard me, and had just watched me dance around on one foot with my hand down the front of my pants laughing like a lunatic. And was clearly so discombobulated by my performance that he didn't know what to say, apart from what a good idea bodysuits are?!?!?!
Well, there's my sorry tale, I hope it has entertained someone. Please share your own tales so I feel less like a loser.