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Original poster

I'm an embarrassment, AKA, Shame at the Dermatologist

116 replies

Ilikegreenshoes · 16/10/2022 10:53

This happened a couple of days ago, but I've been alternately laughing and cringing whenever I think of it ever since.

I've been suffering from an intense and horrible itch on my chest, torso, neck and arms. No antihistamines or creams would touch it, I'm on the waiting list already for an allergy test through the public system (I'm in Australia) but got so desperate that I decided to visit a private dermatologist.

Went to the appointment with a pre-written sheet of the relevant info as it's all a bit convoluted. The doctor seemed very nice, a softly spoken man who let me get through my essay, but made me feel like I'd maybe wasted his time by sharing a lot of extraneous info, so I was already feeling a little flustered which always makes me talk and laugh a bit too much.

So, here's the bit where I showed myself up. Dr asked me if I was wearing a bra, and if so could I take my top off so he can see the extent of the problem. I had failed to factor in that he may want me to disrobe, as I thought he could just look at my neck and chest (it all looks the same.) I am large, with big boobs, and hadn't mentally prepared to be seen in all my glory (shame?) by a strange man just before school pickup!

But I said, with a bonhomie that I was far from feeling, "Sure, no worries," and then remembered that I was wearing a bodysuit under my t-shirt. Laughingly I said, "Oh, I'm wearing a bodysuit, hold on," and, standing up, I plunged my hand too quickly down the front of my trousers and started trying to undo the snaps, which I can only imagine made me appear to be playing with myself. Having stood up too quickly and tried so hard to remain nonchalant, I realised that my foot had become entangled in the strap of my handbag, so I stood on one foot in the middle of the room, one hand desperately fiddling around my fanny, and the other leg shaking the strap off.

Of course, all this time I was talking and laughing, trying to show just how very unconcerned I was by the whole fiasco, whilst mentally asking myself what the hell I thought I was playing at.

Finally, I get the top and bodysuit off, and stand there in my (massive, old) bra and hear the doctor say, "Oh, you were wearing a bodysuit? They're a good idea, aren't they?"

So, he hadn't heard me, and had just watched me dance around on one foot with my hand down the front of my pants laughing like a lunatic. And was clearly so discombobulated by my performance that he didn't know what to say, apart from what a good idea bodysuits are?!?!?!

Well, there's my sorry tale, I hope it has entertained someone. Please share your own tales so I feel less like a loser.

OP posts:
Bottomofthepileasusual · 16/10/2022 19:14

OMG hilarious thank you OP😂

MaybeSomeDay7 · 16/10/2022 19:35

I was overdue my cervical smear by possibly a year or longer; I'd had too much going on, but was feeling really guilty at having ignored the letters. I phoned the GP end of November to book my appointment and found myself talking to a receptionist who was clearly sitting next to other receptionists in a really noisy surgery. You could hear phones ringing and the other staff talking to patients. I was very nervous anyhow and when they said the next appointment would be on Christmas Eve I felt even guiltier, somehow thinking about the poor medical person having to examine my undercarriage instead of being home with their loved ones.
The receptionist asked me again if Christmas Eve would be ok, and being a people pleaser and also having I think, suddenly remembered a joke about flannels and glitter, I brightly said, "oh yes that would be lovely, thank you, I'll put some glitter on it to cheer everyone up and make it more Christmassy." The second I'd said it I was wtf-ing at myself, I don't know what made me say it.
There was a weird noise from the end of the phone, and then she must have dropped the phone. I heard her picking it up again, I think and some muffled sounds of concern from the others sitting at the desk, and then a silence, I think she put me on mute while she was telling the others what I'd said and then she said in a strangled voice, "Christmassy. Yes, see you then." She put the phone down but not before I heard them all starting to howl with laughter.
I have never been so apprehensive walking into an appointment.

StrictlyAmazing · 16/10/2022 19:51

That’s funny op.

I went for the covid 1st vaccination and had my old grey (used to be white) shitty bra on and a top that was too tight so i had to pull arm out and under my top and showed off my manky bra.

on way home I slipped in the snow and fell on my arse near my dads ashes are scattered in the garden of rest!!!

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Ididanamechange · 16/10/2022 20:03

Want a great thread! Mines not as embarrassing as some of these- I had my first stay in hospital when I was 18. I'd gone for a shower on the ward and couldn't work out how to turn the shower on. I figured it must be the red pull cord by the toilet my logic being that the shower at home had a pull cord. So I pulled it over and over with nothing happening until the nurses started baning on the door as I was actually pulling the emergency cord 🙈

PolkaDotMankini · 16/10/2022 20:03

barbrahunter · 16/10/2022 12:44

I remember once when having a medical examination, the Dr asked me if I had any other health problems. Straight away I replied 'Yes, I'm diabetic'. Except I'm not, and never have been diabetic. I really don't know why I said it, and I had to say 'Oh sorry, no I'm not, my mistake haha'. He gave me a very odd look and looked closely at my notes.

I felt such a fool and I will never know why I said what I said. Nerves, maybe, but why say that??

You did much better than me. I once described, in detail, my history of infant febrile convulsions and vivid déjà vu to a neurologist. Except it wasn't my medical history, but exH's! I don't know why I did it, and then I panicked and didn't feel I could tell them it was a mistake, so just went with it. I ended up with a diagnosis of epilepsy and being banned from driving for a year. It was awful.

I then had to attend another appointment with a neurologist at my local hospital. I confessed everything to her and she promised to sort it out. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I got to drive home from that appointment though.

Sistanotcista · 16/10/2022 20:08

@Ilikegreenshoes - this has made me laugh so much! Thank you 🙏

Newuser82 · 16/10/2022 20:09

barbrahunter · 16/10/2022 12:44

I remember once when having a medical examination, the Dr asked me if I had any other health problems. Straight away I replied 'Yes, I'm diabetic'. Except I'm not, and never have been diabetic. I really don't know why I said it, and I had to say 'Oh sorry, no I'm not, my mistake haha'. He gave me a very odd look and looked closely at my notes.

I felt such a fool and I will never know why I said what I said. Nerves, maybe, but why say that??

I'm sorry but that's really made me laugh! It's the kind of thing I'd do 🙈

WimbyAce · 16/10/2022 20:12

These are all great! Giving me a chuckle or 2 😂

SteveHarringtonsChestHair · 16/10/2022 20:19

These are brilliant 😂. Thank you all for the laughs.

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 16/10/2022 20:25

MaybeSomeDay7 · 16/10/2022 19:35

I was overdue my cervical smear by possibly a year or longer; I'd had too much going on, but was feeling really guilty at having ignored the letters. I phoned the GP end of November to book my appointment and found myself talking to a receptionist who was clearly sitting next to other receptionists in a really noisy surgery. You could hear phones ringing and the other staff talking to patients. I was very nervous anyhow and when they said the next appointment would be on Christmas Eve I felt even guiltier, somehow thinking about the poor medical person having to examine my undercarriage instead of being home with their loved ones.
The receptionist asked me again if Christmas Eve would be ok, and being a people pleaser and also having I think, suddenly remembered a joke about flannels and glitter, I brightly said, "oh yes that would be lovely, thank you, I'll put some glitter on it to cheer everyone up and make it more Christmassy." The second I'd said it I was wtf-ing at myself, I don't know what made me say it.
There was a weird noise from the end of the phone, and then she must have dropped the phone. I heard her picking it up again, I think and some muffled sounds of concern from the others sitting at the desk, and then a silence, I think she put me on mute while she was telling the others what I'd said and then she said in a strangled voice, "Christmassy. Yes, see you then." She put the phone down but not before I heard them all starting to howl with laughter.
I have never been so apprehensive walking into an appointment.

This one made me cry 😂

VaulterTech · 16/10/2022 20:25

I’m in bed feeling miserable with a stinking cold and this has made me laugh so much! Thanks for sharing @Ilikegreenshoes 🤣

SquirrelSoShiny · 16/10/2022 20:27

Thanks OP I needed that laugh so much 😂😂😂

SquirrelSoShiny · 16/10/2022 20:29

I'm properly cry laughing at this thread 😂

Jellycatrabbit · 16/10/2022 20:30

Brilliant!

I had a tooth extraction and I'd been told to bite down quickly and hard once it was out to prevent dry socket.

Unfortunately I was anxious and over eager and bit the poor dentists finger quite firmly, before she had time to get the cotton pad in.

I apologised as best as I could manage . . .

WhoopItUp · 16/10/2022 20:39

red4321 · 16/10/2022 12:50

Hmmm! I think he was trying to tell his colleague that there's nowhere for an object to go at the far end so I suppose he had a point.

Once he'd happened upon the phrase, it was used for a step by step teach-in along the lines of "you go to the end of the cul-de-sac, then you move down the cul-de-sac having a look at each stage, until you reach the bottom of the cul-de-sac."

Honestly I was just relieved my cul-de-sac was clear and I could go home and pretend it never happened.

Show quote history

Oh this is just so funny. I live in a cul-de-sac and will always think of your story when I say it now 😂

Buteverythingsfine · 16/10/2022 20:51

So, so funny.

Greenandcabbagelooking · 16/10/2022 21:11

I was in A and E for chest pain. Doctor examined me including listening to my chest and doing a ECG. then sent me off for a chest X-ray. I had to take my bra off for the x-ray, and couldn’t be bothered to put it back on. The same doctor saw a bit more than he bargained for when he then proceeded to do an ultrasound of my heart.

And then we worked out his child went to the school I work in. Let’s hope I never have to teach the child!

Incrediblebuttrue · 16/10/2022 21:21

WhereDoesThisToiletGo · 16/10/2022 18:14

I was very nervous when having embryo transfer as part of IVF.
The doctor removed the tube he used to insert the embryos, and said "just lie there for a few minutes"
To which I said "shall I light up a cigarette for us to share?"
WHAT?!

😂😂

Incrediblebuttrue · 16/10/2022 21:23

Ididanamechange · 16/10/2022 20:03

Want a great thread! Mines not as embarrassing as some of these- I had my first stay in hospital when I was 18. I'd gone for a shower on the ward and couldn't work out how to turn the shower on. I figured it must be the red pull cord by the toilet my logic being that the shower at home had a pull cord. So I pulled it over and over with nothing happening until the nurses started baning on the door as I was actually pulling the emergency cord 🙈

Off topic but my shower at home actually has an emergency cord which we found out rings in the lift (it's in a block of flats). Wtf is the point of that??!

NewMum0305 · 16/10/2022 21:25

”I have thrush” and the glittery Christmassy smear test have totally ended me😂

Great thread OP

user1468105798 · 16/10/2022 21:40

Bottomofthepileasusual · 16/10/2022 19:14

OMG hilarious thank you OP😂

I'm crying with laughter. This is brilliant

JeanMarie · 16/10/2022 21:42

I was admitted to a hospital ward from A&E in the middle of the night . I awoke in the morning , kinda disoriented and trying to get my bearings . There was an elderly lady in the bed facing me and I wondered why she was having visitors so early in the morning. There was a youngish man wearing a cloak and although he was side face to me I noticed he was wearing round glasses. He pulled the curtain around her bed and a few minutes later I heard some kind of chanting. Just then the nurse came to take my obs and I started telling her how nice it was that the elderly lady had a visitor...( Oh God how I cringe now). I said it must be her grandson and he's probably come dressed as Harry Potter to cheer her up and he's even saying some spells. The nurse looked confused for a few moments then told me "He's a priest and he's praying with her". I was mortified but all I could do was laugh hysterically like a maniac. In my defence I was on morphine at the time.

Alanisthebestdog · 16/10/2022 21:44

I have literally been crying laughing at these, and have had to let DH read some of them because I was laughing so hard. Especially the Christmas smear test one. Thanks, I needed that!

03X · 16/10/2022 21:49

My most embarrassing was in labour with DC having about 5 Drs/midwives/students looking at my bits debating what to do about my Bartholin cyst. Agreed to do nothing.
I have the baby & it still doesn’t pop! So when the midwife is stitching me up she offered to pop it for me 🤣
DH said she got rid of it that’s for sure…
it was an absolute cringe from start to finish, never mind the awkwardness of giving birth but add on a big cyst in your vagina (plus piles) I felt shame. Glad I’m done with birthing ha!

Trynnafind · 16/10/2022 22:09

Not me, but my cousin.

She went to the GP for some pain in her foot.

Doctor talks to her about her symptoms, nurse walks in, doctor tells the nurse that they were going to do an inspection for Achilles tendon rupture (something along those lines).
My cousin loudly interrupts and goes "No! My name is Sarah!".
The doctor glares at her, dumbfouded, says nothing, before resuming her conversation with the nurse.

Makes me smile everytime!