I am just about to email to turn down a job offer for a job I actually really want. Anyone else had this occur?

[ThatBliddyWoman]

I have had two interviews for the job, one just an informal meeting and the second a presentation. Both went well and I was offered the job. It was advertised as (for example) the pay starting at about 2K less than I am on now, and going up to 3 and a half thousand more.

They've offered me the very lowest end of the scale, because I don't have all of the experience they wanted.

They wanted a degree, experience in one particular field and experience in another field. I have two degrees (a Masters) and experience in one but not both of the areas so they'd start me on the lowest pay.

It's also more hours than I do now (albeit not many) some hours WFH some in the office. So I'd have to factor in petrol costs, and paying a dog walker.

I've looked at my finances over and over and I just can't do it :(

I keep re-wording the email. What I want them to do is to come back and say 'Great we'll give you more money then!' but It's not likely is it.

I have a gut feeling that they've not had many people apply. I breezed through both the interviews, I got the impression they really liked me :(

It's also in a field I really want to work in and really want to gain experience in. They'd offered to put me through a qualification I have always wanted too.

Gutted. Has anyone else had something such as this happen?

My DD was offered a lower salary than the one she was on at her interview for her current job. She went back and said she would love to accept the job but only if they were able to offer her x amount. They went off and came back to say they could pay her the amount she requested. It's always worth asking!

You make some excellent points. I was at a conference yesterday and as part of the economic update we were told there are currently 0.9 people for every job available - so not enough to go round. They need you and you need the salary to cover your increased costs.

Don't outright reject. Just discuss with them again the terms of the offer. Say you really want the job but can't afford it on the current terms.

Omg please dont decline. Ask for what you need plus an extra grand and let them knock you down. You have nothing to lose! Its almost expected to negotiate salary now. I dont think anyone I have recruited over the last few years has accepted the initial salary offer.

Could you negotiate to get a pay rise once you have the extra qualification they've offered to fund ?

Good luck OP. I was in this position a few years ago.

I went back & outlined very specifically the areas I’d be worse off - longer hours, lower salary, higher childcare costs - and was offered more. Employer said they were grateful for me pointing it out so logically & well reasoned rather than making it an emotive conversation

If you were a man, you wouldnt even question yourself here. You would simply negotiate for more money and then then it down if they said no. Men dont immediately turn down.

My experience of recruiting is that men neogtiate, whilst women either accept the low offer or then down the job.

Negotiate the salary. If they say no, then then it down.

All the best op, hope you wake up to a positive email!
And 40 isn't old :D

Apologies
I missed this post on my phone

glad you did this.

You need to negotiate,

HEllo x,

I am delighted to receive the job offer for thisrole. I would be really keen to work with you.

In your initial pay offer of X is unfortunately untenable for me. As you aware I currently earn Y, but as your post involves longer hours, I was hoping for a starting salary near to : Z (make this slightly lower than the top offer - on the advert but higher than you were earning).

I really felt like a good fit for your team, and hopeful there is some flexibility in pay. I look forward to hearing from you

This is the best post on the thread.

Best of luck, OP. You sound like you are very much worthy of the job at the 'Z' end!

Good luck OP!

I was in a similar position recently for an internal sideways move where I’d lose a significant benefit. My manager asked my I didn’t just ask them to increase my salary, I hate doing things like this so felt totally cringe but you have nothing to lose by asking.

It's not a you problem, it's a gender problem. As somebody else highlighted it's one of the reasons for the gender pay gap. And it's not just at entry into a job, it's also all the times we don't put ourselves forward for promotion/pay increases.

Women being assertive = demanding

Men being assertive = confident

OP please read Sheryl Sanders's 'Lean In' on how women do this again and again. OF COURSE you must negotiate. And not apologetically. They may say no, but that shouldn't stop you stop telling them how much you'd love the job and pointing out how well your experience equips you for it.

Good luck !

I totally agree @PhilInt however like you highlight, women are then viewed as difficult or demanding (when a man doing / saying the same would not be) so whilst we do need to be more assertive, I do understand why so many women don't (myself included).

That said, the Op should definitely go for it as if she's going to turn the job down, she is in no worse position than if she asks for it (as she has done!). Fingers crossed Op.

The more women do act in an assertive manner, the better things will become, but it does take time to get there.

This. Its the perfect response. Remember you have the upper hand the minute they make the job offer.
I would actually respond with a counter offer above what I want. In reality this has always worked well for me. It shows you know your worth. Good luck

Ask for more.

Make the case for yourself. All the things that only YOU bring to the job.

How YOU will make a difference.

What YOU bring to the job over and above what might be written on paper as requirements (degree etc).

I've hired many people over the years. Sometimes people who didn't really fit the job spec but who just had a sparkle about them and turned out to be brilliant.

It's incredibly expensive to hire staff. Employing a highly-motivated person (you) who has the guts to ask for what you think you're worth may be all that it needs for the employer to agree that you should be paid more.

The worst they can say is no. But as you're about to say no anyway, you'll be no worse off by giving it a go.

They are trying it on exactly as PP have stated the ways women have been socialised to accept far less than they deserve and apologise for it.
They've come back with the qualifications bs excuse.

It you met every one of their qualifications, you'd be overqualified for the job.
I’ve hired a lot of people, including new college grads. We’ve never once had a candidate we wanted to hire who negotiated and didn’t get SOMETHING more from us.

Broadly speaking, if we’re willing to hire a candidate for X salary, we’re willing to hire them for at least 5-10% more than our first offer.

I hope you haven't written a response yet. I will explain what to say to showcase that you are a valuable employee.

First off, don't mention what you are currently making. It has zero to do with a new offer. Zero.

Likeability is important

They need you more than you need them.

Phrase your response like this. Make it short and sweet. Send the response and then go silent. Ask for the top of the range.

Thank them for the offer and that you are looking for to working with them.

Based on my research on the market rate, being close to another offer, and the experience and value I know I can bring, I’d love to see if we could potentially meet at x amount(near the top of the range)
Let me know if we can make this work - happy to accept asap if so.

@SunnySideDownBriefly, thank you for that post - I am going to save it for future reference!

I don’t view being offered the bottom of a pay scale as cheeky or exploitative. I see it more that you will start at X and during your employment you will progress to Y. These salaries should also theoretically rise with inflation (in a fair world). When you reach the top of the pay scale you either stagnate or seek promotion. That said, of course you negotiate up before starting and aim for swifter advancement or a salary increase / regrade of the post once you’ve demonstrated your value.

Good luck OP. Hope you wake with good news.

Definitely don't turn it down. Where I work we always offer the lowest end first, that's company policy, but if someone then asks for higher (within the advertised range) along with a justification then we always consider it and usually approve it. I'd write highlighting your experience and the fact it will be extra travel costs compared to now.
I've had a recent revelation about pay when a junior male staff asked me for a pay rise after 6 weeks in the job (ridiculous!) but made me realise how a lot of women, including myself, are so rubbish at asking for higher pay. I recently got a new job and I asked them to match my current (London) salary even though the job is in Sussex - and they did! Don't say sorry!

Glad to hear you got in touch. Years ago, DH got caught out by this as he didn’t realise he could negotiate (first time he’d ever applied for a job with flexible salaries) He was gutted to find out that there were people on his team on £9k more than him because they had negotiated! Fortunately, about 12 months after he joined, they aligned everyone’s salaries but he missed out on quite a lot of money and pension contributions in that 12 months. He certainly didn’t make that mistake in the job he’s just about to start 💰 💴

@QuietNeighbour - it's typical of an employer not wanting to pay above the bottom of the pay scale though. They are trying it on to an extent.

Another well done from me. I have written back to a job offer to say that I would really like the job, but I have been offered £X and would need £Y to consider (I asked for a bit more, expecting them to take me down). I got the £Y and to do a masters at the company's expense. I always advise people to know their worth and to at least ask.