What happens to all the mean girls

[RedPanda901]

My daughter was talking about the mean girls in her school and it made me ask what she meant. I mean I knew what she meant but wondered what her experience of it was. In her words: they are dismissive of the girls they don't like; talk down to other girls; laugh and bully them to make others do what they want.

Just out of interest…
Are you a mean girl? Were you a mean girl? What made you change?

Mean Girl 1 is a multi millionaire invented an app to get lots of cleaners together or something like that?
Mean Girl 2 I think unmarried and a photographer
Mean Girl 4 is an accountant
Mean Girl 5 married mean boy childhood sweetheart and has wanted to meet up!

One of the meanest girls I knew at school is now a successful comedian and wrote a sitcom popular on here. She did fine

defo intrigued

In my experience they don't change, they just become NHS bullies instead.

Oh lawks now I'm wondering if we went to the same school

Girls who were mean at school turn into the ones who want to be Queen Bees in the workplace or school playground.

Unless they grow out of being mean. But I think it's probably rare.

One of the so called mean girls at my school hung herself a good few years ago.
she was a horrid piece of work and made quite a few peoples life a misery.
while some people were sending sympathy messages upon her death, one guy actually told the truth and said that karma had bitten her on the bum at last as she was a real cow to him for 5 years.

The mean girls I knew, all married boys in the village, stayed in the village and work in MW jobs.

In my experience, “mean girls” never particularly change, they just channel their “meanness” elsewhere, into other forms, instead of playground bullying etc.

Some “mean girls” from my school days have gone on to high paying or high authority jobs, and enjoying showing off their lavish lifestyles on social media. Others have entered “normal” jobs but seem to have taken on a martyred image of themselves (e.g. one former school bully is now a carer for the elderly. She frequently brags on social media about how hardworking and wonderful she is in her workplace. Of course this is a highly commendable job, but every other person I know in this profession does not brag about how wonderful they are, but rather they are humble and seem to gain satisfaction from work itself, without feeling the need to be so self-congratulating and seek external validation IYSWIM).

I have worked with someone who I was convinced was a “meanie” in their school days. Raised to wealthy parents, and was arrogant and constantly argumentative – the sort of person always on the defence and looking to bring down others, yet would openly admit to slacking at work, frequently slagging off visitors to the workplace within earshot of them (yes, really) and seemingly allergic to criticism of themselves. They adopted a patronising, disrespectful manner, making it clear that they thought lowly of colleagues around them. The typical attitude you see portrayed in “mean girl” esque cheesy films. Their job was a high paid office role, but it’s clear that colleagues also saw right through the act, yet everyone seemed a little intimidated and confused as to how to stand up to them, much like how people felt towards mean school bullies.

There was defo bullying at my middle school.

The mean girls in my school were big titted, very pretty bullies who used their tits and good looks/make up skills to intimidate the normal functioning girls.

What they did not know was I was being sexually abused at home by my SD, Yes I functioned but my life was miserable, I hated it!

They often told me to go kill myself as no one cared about me and one day after they had me in the toilets mocking my 'very subtle' make up I told them I didnt know how to kill myself.
The next day the ring leader came to me and handed a tub of paracetemol, said she would meet me after school and we would do it together.
What she meant was she would sit there watching and encouraging me to take all those pills, then suddenly have to go once id necked them all.

I'll never forget the shame on my mothers face as I was in hospital having to drink charcoal then social services being involved and STILL the abuse never came up.

I hate that girl, and looking at her now on SM I am a million times better off than her.

Ive never told anyone this, sorry!

In my experience they become mean women.

So sorry what you went through ZeroFuchsGiven

Should have arranged to meet them and beaten them up.

Only kidding.....

Reminds me of the great Kevin Bacon scene in the original "Flatliners"

@ZeroFuchsGiven that's awful

Fucking hell, and you could actually bring yourself to type that?

I've read some disgusting comments on this forum from time to time. This caps them.

Was it Sharon Hogan/Horgan? She’s funny but I could see her being mean.

I look back on it with mixed views really. I was 'low status' in my teenage years, very much the brunt of jokes, constant low level mockery. However, I look back and see that many of the higher status kids who behaved that way probably look back and see things quite differently.... Many struggled academically quite a bit and though I never saw it at the time I think they probably perceived me as showing off, as someone who always did well, and they maybe thought I was a horrible cow who found it easy while they didn't.

Another few, I realise now looking back, definitely came from troubled homes and were potentially experiencing stuff like grooming from older men, parents alcoholics, parents in and out of work, and I look bad and feel a bit sad that at the time all I saw was them being awful to me but I didn't see why it was.

To them it probably looked like my life was perfect with a really ordinary home, nice ordinary mum and dad, not rich but not wanting for anything either, always had clean clothes even if they weren't the must have brands.
I think almost everyone probably looks back on the teenage years as a horrible time, and I think we were probably all a bit horrible in different ways, whether being a bit smug as teachers praised us for doing well, or for laughing at a kid who didn't have the 'right' shoes.

All the mean girls at my school became nurses 😂

The ones I grew up with have all done very well for themselves, mainly by marrying well. One married a banker and now lives in New York doing marketing/pr. Another married an airline pilot, married well, has a family & lives in a pile in Rutland. Another married young and emigrated with family to Australia. All doing very well. They are less mean now but I think they just learned to hide it. All grew up well off and beautiful and remain so now. Life isnt fair.

I went to an all girls and spent my time with the nice geeks. I had no experiences with mean girls and kept away. I have no idea what they’re doing but I didn’t see them at college doing a levels or uni so I’m guessing they married a rich mug who gave them what they wanted in life 😂

That is truly awful@ZeroFuchsGiven
xx

I don’t think of myself as a mean girl, but in the 6th form I was definitely part of the clique and some of the others definitely were not.

It really only occurred to me many years later that some girls were actively excluded. We didn’t bitch about them, they just didn’t register on our popular girls’ radar. So yes, a bit mean.

I bumped into one of the ‘face didn’t fit’ girls at hospital 2 weeks ago and had a chat. I’m still friends with about 6 of my school crowd and I mentioned this meeting in passing to one of them. She had no recollection of this person whatsoever, which I thought summed up how cliques are/were.

Anyway, we all really nice now 😂 and every one has done well. I hope the same applies to those girls that weren’t part of the in-crowd.

I knew one who started a recruitment agency which sounds like the perfect career for a bitchy girl.

She's unmarried and childless which may be by choice but in my vengeful moments I like to think no one wanted her and its karma

Having read a lot of these posts, I would disagree with a lot of people on here about and think that a significant amount of parents on here would be shocked at the level of perceived meanness of schoolchildren (especially teenagers), to fit in, to conform, to not be the one at the butt of it all. Many studies have been done about this. I am sure there have been some rose tinted spectacles placed for some even reflecting on their own behaviours.

@ZeroFuchsGiven, I'm horrified to hear your story. That's terrible.

But that girl was probably going through a very similar situation to you. She was obviously very damaged by her own upbringing. What she did to you was obviously very damaging, but she was a very damaged young women herself to do that.

Isn't the smirking your mother did to you similar to your looking at her social media and thinking 'yes, you're no better'.

Look at who caused all these young and older women to have these feelings.

Women damage other women, but it's generally men that men that start all these damage cycles and set women against each other rather than look at the cause.