MIL wont wash her hands

[Pink3489]

Hi all,

How would you approach this? My MIL wont wash her hands after using the bathroom at mine. I'm a bit uptight when it comes to germs so this bothers me. I dont want to offend or embarrass her. What do you think I should do?

So many people don't, we were never taught to as children and I really don't think I did it until well into my teens

Did your parents ever wonder why there was (presumably) another sink in the house apart from in the kitchen? Did they see the washbasin in the toilet/bathroom as a quirky obsolete period feature that those strange folk of long ago used to like using - like a boot scraper or servant's bell?!

I hardly dare to ask, but do non-hand-washers also decline the opportunity to do it after they've had a poo?

I use a train daily without touching anything…

I guess type of thing bothers some people and some it doesnt. Im one of the people that is strict on hand washing etc and my MIL isnt. As soon as my baby is born then I will have a legitimate excuse to question hygiene in my house. In her house she can do what she wants. But in my house I like clean hands. There's been some really good suggestions so thank you. I will be trying them out the next time she is over.

Exactly. Unlike going to the toilet, going on a train does not mean coming directly into contact with germs. And I wash my hands before eating and touching my face.

No, it IS her issue. Using the loo, then using unwashed hands to touch door handles, cupboards, plates, the kettle etc.. in someone else’s home is downright disgusting.
As for it being an age thing, my mother would be almost 100 now and I can remember strict hand washing being taught by her when I was a child at home, and at school too so I can’t see it’s an age thing.

Grim, I don't understand why people won't wash their hands after touching a toilet. I was my hands a lot though, possibly a bit too much. Would totally wash my hands after being on a train, think of all the germs you'd have all over them.

Surely it's only unhygienic if she's coming in contact with her bodily excretions? If she's just doing a pee and doesn't touch it with her hands, what is there to wash off that wasn't already there? Definitely wash them before handling food or babies, but I don't see what there is to get worked up about over touching toilet paper.

I'm not sure why you think having fancy soap and a clean towel will make her wash her hands. If this is an age-old habit it's highly unlikely that she's going to change now.

Play this all the way through on your phone, 9 or 10 times, every time she comes out of the toilet - but don't otherwise say a word.

Even if she's a staunch cleanliness-denier, she'll capitulate soon, in order to be spared it!

I'd start making a thing of everyone using antibacterial gel before holding baby. You'll hopefully get away with it because people seem more accepting of new mums being concerned about germs since covid.

Oh, please.

I would refuse to eat or drink anything she prepared. Omg I’m not a germaphobe but urgh.

Because trains are filthy

@Pink3489 my baby is 4months and I still make everyone wash their hands before the touch um. Especially since he’s been teething to, the second a hand comes near him he’s grabbing fingers n trying to ram them in his mouth lol

I don’t get how anyone hasn’t twigged that washing their hands is basic hygiene. We’ve literally just had (and are still dealing with) a pandemic. Just how grubby (or thick) do you have to be to still be shying away from a few seconds of soap and water?

Ew. That's disgusting.

Even my 3yo knows when to wash his hands. He washes them when he comes back from nursery or playing outside too. I thought most people did!

I have the exact same issue with my FIL, but he lives with us in our house.

It is a massive issue to me, and I don't think I am particularly fussy about cleanliness in general. I absolutely know that he doesn't was them due to the speed of the visit and the location of his bathroom.

Part of my concern is that I clean his bathroom, and it's grim. He misses the loo quite a bit and doesn't bother to clear up. He also sometimes has blood in his urine (due to a medical condition) and so the urine is quite distinctive. As a result door handles, light switches etc sometime have visible marks - it is truly grim.

He also frequently has urine smelling clothes (I do his washing too), so clearly is oblivious to the hygiene implications.

I have tried everything... sending him back into wash them, disinfecting where he has touched after each use, I have even sat him down and explained how disgusting it is, that it makes me feel sick and that I can't stand to eat anything from the fridge when he has touched it. At one point I even explained that if he didn't improve then I was going to leave his son, and the house would need to sold! Nothing, and I mean nothing, works - he will do it when I a obviously present, but as soon as my back is turned he reverts! Grim

We only had an outside toilet growing up and there was no sink in it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don’t know about you, but I don’t rub my hands all over the train.

What did he say when you addressed it? Unless he is senile or his mental faculties are impaired in some way, I genuinely cannot comprehend how anyone can justify behaving like this.

Unless you magically float through the station and onto and off the train, you’re highly likely to be touching things. Rubbing your hands all over it isn’t required.

So, why wouldn’t you just wash your hands? In what possible way would doing so negatively impact you?

@Tsort
He said yes he understood, yes he would do it - acted all embarrassed, did it for two days and then only when I was obviously close by. My DS and his GF tell me that whilst I was away recently he didn't do it at all!
Frankly he is bone idle and selfish, no comprehension issues.

I wouldn't because it has never occurred to me to do so.

Me too. If I've been out, I change my clothes, use the loo, and wash my hands as soon as I get home.
iWe were taught how to wash our hands properly at primary school.

These anti hand washers

like what is your problem!?

washing your hands doenst cost you anything , it’s not painful, it does take a long time

what exactly is your issue with it?