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Original poster

Why do some people have to be clever and snarky about everything?

57 replies

Isaidnono · 05/10/2022 08:01

Have a group of friends, we go out once a month. Trying to sort something for November, I said I had no plans for November yet so meaning any day was good for me. Got a snarky reply ‘oh apart from your dd birthday.’

FFS, my DDs birthday is on a Tuesday this year and that’s a day I don’t work. And we go out evenings and she’d be in bed.

It made me feel like a shit mum!

OP posts:
misskatamari · 05/10/2022 08:04

Firstly, don’t feel shit at all! You know they’re either a)being bitchy or b)something has got lost in translation via text and the tone you’re reading isn’t what they intended. Either way, you haven’t done anything wrong. But yes, it’s unnecessary and not nice when people do stuff like this. Just trying to get a dig in for no reason (I guess it makes them feel better about themselves in some way 🤷🏻‍♀️)

idontevenknowanyonecalledblurb · 05/10/2022 08:06

Oh I dropped a group of friends that were like this. Constant snarky mean little remarks. It was really getting me down. I just slowly stopped seeing them. There's no need for it

trillionnairenot · 05/10/2022 08:07

It was probably meant in a friendly, teasing way. An emoticon might have helped - that's why they were invented.

Original poster
Isaidnono · 05/10/2022 08:09

It probably was but even in jest it’s a bit mean … maybe I’m being sensitive as I do withered often a few digs like this.

OP posts:
bonzaitree · 05/10/2022 08:10

I don't think in life you can afford to be as sensitive as this. This is teasing at worst.

Is there a reason you're feeling particularly sensitive?

Original poster
Isaidnono · 05/10/2022 08:12

I don’t want to be (who does??) but the insinuation to me was that I didn’t see my child’s birthday as a big deal, or that I’d forgotten about it or didn’t care about it. How did you take it, out of interest?

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 05/10/2022 08:15

I would have taken it as a group reminder rather than aimed at you specifically. And some people have family members over on a child's birthday so even if dd was in bed the grandparents could still be chatting with you. They won't know that.

I would have replied, yes, but still free that evening but might be too stuffed with cake so can't have a big meal (laughing emoji).

You are overthinking it.

Original poster
Isaidnono · 05/10/2022 08:16

Why would the group need reminding it’s my DD birthday? Not trying to be awkward genuinely not understanding

OP posts:
eyeteevee · 05/10/2022 08:18

You are seriously overthinking it. It must be exhausting. Stop and take a step back, ask yourself, do you genuinely think this person was insinuating you don't care about your child's birthday? No, almost certainly not.

Original poster
Isaidnono · 05/10/2022 08:19

I think it was a bit of a dig, I can’t really see any other motivation for saying it, tbh. I’m trying to understand but struggling!

OP posts:
AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 05/10/2022 08:20

eyeteevee · 05/10/2022 08:18

You are seriously overthinking it. It must be exhausting. Stop and take a step back, ask yourself, do you genuinely think this person was insinuating you don't care about your child's birthday? No, almost certainly not.

I was going to post the same, I don't see what the problem is but then I don't recognise the sort of person you're describing

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 05/10/2022 08:22

Isaidnono · 05/10/2022 08:19

I think it was a bit of a dig, I can’t really see any other motivation for saying it, tbh. I’m trying to understand but struggling!

Why do you need to understand it? That reads as snarky I know but genuinely why waste your time analysing it? Isn't that a problem of your own making, why would you care?

bonzaitree · 05/10/2022 08:24

You simply cannot go through life thinking everything is an insult to you. It's exhausting and will make you miserable.

Something else must be going on to cause you to feel this way.

Original poster
Isaidnono · 05/10/2022 08:24

Well, the consensus is I’m being over sensitive as she didn’t mean it in the way I interpreted as, but I’m struggling to understand what she did mean if it wasn’t how I interpreted it!

OP posts:
Original poster
Isaidnono · 05/10/2022 08:24

I don’t @bonzaitree , I think that was an insult, or a dig rather than an insult as such I suppose.

OP posts:
WimpoleHat · 05/10/2022 08:25

Why would you see that as a dig? If I said to my DH “any time in October”, he would know that our DD’s birthday is 24th and wouldn’t choose that day. If I said it to the neighbours, they would not know that 24th was out. Presumably your friend was just reminding the group of the birthday to avoid a conversation along the lines of:

other friend: How about 24th then?
you: No - that’s my daughter’s birthday
other friend: But you said any day was good; why not say any day but not 24th?

I don’t think it was a dig that you’d forgotten the birthday, just that you weren’t being clear to the group about the dates available.

minipie · 05/10/2022 08:26

I would read it as that friend trying to show she remembers your DD’s birthday is in November ! Not snarky

museumum · 05/10/2022 08:27

I would not have read that as a dig at all. Maybe I’m naive / under sensitive but it wouldn’t bother me a jot.
the person is likely just showing off shes on top of other peoples dcs birthdays.

I think OP that the comment itself is innocuous and you shouldn’t read into it with your insecurities. UNLESS the group is actually low-livel bullying you and that’s why you are over sensitive in which case - get out.

bonzaitree · 05/10/2022 08:28

Isaidnono · 05/10/2022 08:24

I don’t @bonzaitree , I think that was an insult, or a dig rather than an insult as such I suppose.

It's not a dig. Find something more important to think about for goodness sake.

Clymene · 05/10/2022 08:28

minipie · 05/10/2022 08:26

I would read it as that friend trying to show she remembers your DD’s birthday is in November ! Not snarky

That's exactly how I would have read it too

CrystalCoco · 05/10/2022 08:28

Snarky little comments like that come from people who enjoy getting a rise out of others - I hate to come down to that level but I was away for a couple nights recently and when snark came up I met it with snark, not my usual style but it shut it down each time.

In your scenario something like 'DD's birthday aside - obviously!' eyeroll emoji

eyeteevee · 05/10/2022 08:28

Well, the consensus is I’m being over sensitive as she didn’t mean it in the way I interpreted as, but I’m struggling to understand what she did mean if it wasn’t how I interpreted it!

She remembered your kids birthday. That's all. Why are you struggling to understand?

FirstAidKitNowPlease · 05/10/2022 08:30

eyeteevee · 05/10/2022 08:28

Well, the consensus is I’m being over sensitive as she didn’t mean it in the way I interpreted as, but I’m struggling to understand what she did mean if it wasn’t how I interpreted it!

She remembered your kids birthday. That's all. Why are you struggling to understand?

She remembered. That's not something everyone will remember.
I'm take offence at random shite but couldn't be bothered to blink twice at this.

As a one off. No harm. I suspect there is form or back story OP?

MajorCarolDanvers · 05/10/2022 08:30

I'd be impressed at my knowing when my kids birthdays are

Original poster
Isaidnono · 05/10/2022 08:32

@bonzaitree nah I’m good I’ll fill my vapid little mind with what I like thanks.

I remain lost as to why a 1 year old birthday would mean an evening out with dinner and drinks would mean I needed reminding .., people are using the word exhausting but tbf it’s exhausting being on the receiving end of stuff like this. When anything you say gets commented on and not kindly, it does get you down.

OP posts: