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Original poster

Friend turning 60 and we can't mention her age

62 replies

haveyourcakeandeatit · 04/10/2022 18:31

Good friend of ours is turning 60 soon, she has invited us to her meal but has stipulated that no birthday cards or balloons with 60 on cannot be given, also we cannot mention of her age.

Bit odd I think, especially as she wants to celebrate it but each to their own I guess?

OP posts:
RedRobyn2021 · 04/10/2022 18:32

Probably feeling sensitive, it's a milestone. But equally doesn't want to sit at home sad on her birthday

lightand · 04/10/2022 18:33

Her birthday and party.
I dont think that is too odd personally.

Whataplanker · 04/10/2022 18:35

I think there are people going who don't know her age!

Luredbyapomegranate · 04/10/2022 18:35

It’s not odd.

She wants a party because why not, but she doesn’t want people to bang on about her being 60 because it makes her feel past it - obviously she isn’t but ageing is a loaded and complex thing and she doesn’t want to think about it on a night out.

FlibbertyGiblets · 04/10/2022 18:36

I sort of get her point, my next big birthday will be 60 and I can see that it wouldn't be impossible to feel a bit urgghh about it.

TwoWeeksislong · 04/10/2022 18:36

Tell people she’s fifty-ten.

ApolloandDaphne · 04/10/2022 18:43

It is a little odd. She is 60 whether you mention it or not! I turned 60 recently and am happy that people know this. Everyone ages.

HideTheCroissants · 04/10/2022 18:58

Her choice but I do find it odd.
We had a family member and we were invited to her birthday party. Quite a posh do, fancy invitations, all stating “fiftieth”. We were confused, double checked with her (64 year old) husband and he said she had chosen to claim to be 50 when they’d moved to a new area and made new friends.

Thing is, she looked really good for 60! A bit rough for 50 though 😂

She has carried on changing her age with each move and 20 years later she recently celebrated her “65th” birthday, her husband is happily acknowledging his 84 years of age with his 19 years younger wife. She’s his second wife so at least he didn’t marry her when she was still in primary school.

MajorCarolDanvers · 04/10/2022 19:00

It's not at all odd

Respect her views.

TwoWrightFeet · 04/10/2022 19:01

She seems hard work.

Cameleongirl · 04/10/2022 19:06

I have a family member who didn’t want anyone mentioning her 50th birthday. DH and I laughed about it, but we respected her wishes. It was abit daft though, I think people at the party knew. 😂

HilarityEnsues · 04/10/2022 19:09

Tiring but not a big deal, have a great celebration with her.

DevaleraSpawnOfSatan · 04/10/2022 19:11

Having survived cancer three times, one primary was touch and go, ageing is a privilege and she is being ridiculous. Sorry, not sorry to be so blunt.

CraigDavid · 04/10/2022 19:13

My SIL did this when she turned 50 recently. All family were forewarned not to send any number cards or mention how old she was. She is barking though.

ErrolTheDragon · 04/10/2022 19:15

It's a bit sad that ageism is so ingrained in some people - there's no shame in being 60 (I'm 61).

But her choice how she wants to celebrate her birthday. I don't see why anyone should find it 'tiring' to not do cards and balloons with 60 on, I find that reaction somewhat weird. Confused

coldcoldheartt · 04/10/2022 19:18

My friend did this when she turned 40. At first I rolled my eyes but she explained she was single (divorced), childless and in a dead end job. None of the "milestones" she wished to have achieved. So with a little bit of empathy, I understood and made sure she had a beautiful cake, balloons and not one 4 in sight!
Generalising here but... I think it's easier to embrace your age if you are where you want to be in life. Does this apply to your friend?

OneFrenchEgg · 04/10/2022 19:18

I thought this as I feel too young to be 60 next year. Told everyone not to mention it. Dh then had to remind me I'm only going to be 50. So I have sympathy.

HideTheCroissants · 04/10/2022 19:19

Also I will be very pleased to reach my Sixtieth birthday! A landmark that too many of my family and friends will never reach.

Neolara · 04/10/2022 19:20

It's not that odd. I was completely horrified to turn 50. So we're some of my friends.

Cameleongirl · 04/10/2022 19:26

I don’t normally do much for birthday but I’m already mentally planning my 50th in a couple of years. I have no intention of hiding it, I’m pleased to have reached this milestone relatively intact. 🤣

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 04/10/2022 19:26

Having recently lost a friend in her forties to cancer I’m a lot less inclined to regard ageing negatively. It really is a privilege and it’s genuinely much easier mentally if you can shift your point of view a bit and embrace it.

I still have moments when it scares me, don’t get me wrong. But who knows what’s round the corner? If I’m unlucky like my friend, I might not get much older. So I don’t want to waste my time being down on the idea of ageing.

Speedweed · 04/10/2022 19:40

Get her a 'happy 70th' balloon instead

Original poster
haveyourcakeandeatit · 04/10/2022 19:40

Thanks for the reply's.
I'm guessing here, but she's single, never married and has a son in his 20's so perhaps she's unhappy deep down. So yes she's perfectly entitled to request whatever she wants, I can't help but think about the people who don't make it to their 30th let alone 60th.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 04/10/2022 19:41

Speedweed · 04/10/2022 19:40

Get her a 'happy 70th' balloon instead

I was about to suggest this! But I'm a knob Grin

Original poster
haveyourcakeandeatit · 04/10/2022 20:12

Speedweed · 04/10/2022 19:40

Get her a 'happy 70th' balloon instead

Oh I can just imagine the horror on her face

OP posts: