Friend turning 60 and we can't mention her age

[haveyourcakeandeatit]

Good friend of ours is turning 60 soon, she has invited us to her meal but has stipulated that no birthday cards or balloons with 60 on cannot be given, also we cannot mention of her age.

Bit odd I think, especially as she wants to celebrate it but each to their own I guess?

It's easy for younger people to say what an achievement it is to live to 60 but when you're at work and the average age is 32, you're lucky to be included in the office chat never mind included when they go out. If you drop a biro you're asked if you're OK.if you forget one thing you're asked if you're having a bad day. And I'm in my early 50s so not 60, but I have another 15 years of working ahead of my knowing that already I'm regarded as being quite peripheral, socially, at work.

Being self conscious about big birthdays doesn't mean you're not very grateful you're still alive and healthy.
The bit you can't control is how others perceive you and where that leaves you.
Being old has a lower social capital than being young.
If you're single, not the boss not rich, then others will often feel comfortable overlooking you. Depends on the average age at yr workplace, but at 60, the chances are the average age is going to be nearly 20 years younger.
To say it doesn't matter because you're alive is a bit lacking in understanding I think.

JOy but not everyone has the same experience at work ... I am mid 60s, most of my colleagues are younger but we all get along very well and I never feel the 'odd one out'. Maybe your colleagues just aren't very nice people?

Then don't frickin mention it!! (recent 60 here). I did the 50th birthday pressie and card thing for a colleague and had to gently tell the chaps our colleague would not want the fact to be bellowed on a 'YOU'RE 50' card. Just a beautiful art card and bouquet suited her perfectly. Celebrate with empathy for her feelings.

I do feel sorry for your friend as I found 50 a 'difficult' birthday to acknowledge whereas I'd had no problem with other milestone birthdays. It sort of felt like a tipping point. I decided to just embrace it though and always remember the Joan Rivers quote "Looking 50 is great, if you're 60".

I would let your friend celebrate in her own way. She'll probably be able to laugh about it in a year or two.

Given this thread is from October, she's probably over it already.

I was very unhappy about turning 40 and didn’t want to celebrate at all. My friends insisted, and I was quite upset that they didn’t listen to me, but felt I had to go along with it so as not to be ungrateful. I think it’s odd, though, to care about someone enough to want to celebrate their birthday, but not enough to do it in a way that they’d like.

I'm 68 and don't give a toss. I never have and can't see any reason to be coy about it.

I've just realised this is an old thread and I already commented last year. I said much the same thing.

We live in a culture where ageing in women is treated like a crime, older celebrities are praised for still looking good in a bikini at sixty, and shamed for looking chubby in a bikini at 35. The wisdom and experience of ageing isn’t valued at all. So I sympathise.

Pathetic.

My stepmother refuses to be an odd age. She goes from 70 to 72.

Apparently, my mother was 32 from the day I was born until I was 18, when
it clearly wasn't feasible. I, on the other hand, am unashamedly 67 and have never been bothered about my age or who knows it. As a pp said, we all age. My only problem is the aches and pains which accompany my ageing!
Did anyone see that photo of Martha Stewart at 82? She looks great, but personally, I couldn't be bothered with all the palaver she's gone through to keep her looking like that!