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Original poster

A 1980s dinner party and do people still have them?

157 replies

Comedycook · 03/10/2022 17:34

So I was reminiscing with my sister earlier.

Growing up in the 80s, our parents would host "proper" dinner parties.

The table would be set, prior to dinner, drinks and nibbles would be provided in the living room, a three course dinner would be served in the dining room, then afterwards more drinks would be served in the living room...brandies and whisky I presume.

The men would wear suits, children would be sent to bed or left with babysitters.

Do people still do this nowadays? When we get together with friends now, the whole evening is so informal in comparison. My parents dinner parties seem very grown up in comparison!

So just wondering if people still have "proper" dinner parties? Is it just very posh people or is it stuck firmly in the past?!

OP posts:
LadyHooHa · 03/10/2022 19:02

BananaGrana · 03/10/2022 18:41

We never have friends round for dinner or go to other’s houses. We always go out or get a takeaway. Dinner parties are for suburban, status anxious types in my opinion.

Er... no.

They're also a good excuse to dress properly.

TokyoTen · 03/10/2022 19:08

We do meals with friends sometimes - I'll make a starter, main and dessert with drinks and do something really special. But we don't dress up, just jeans/tshirt. We put some music on and sit around chatting during and afterwards.

Shiboleth1 · 03/10/2022 19:09

I do this but not formally. I'll make cocktails, two courses of homemade food and loads of fabulous wine. It's great fun. I love to cook, Ottolenghi is my go to. I've done this for the last 20 years with various sets of friends.

Riverlee · 03/10/2022 19:10

I’m now yearning for one! I remember them well. Used to be a bit of a thing in our six form as well.

IheartNiles · 03/10/2022 19:11

This is v middle class and I’m envious. No dining room in childhood council houses. We had a ‘spread’ laid out on the kitchen table and the beers and cinzano on the sideboard.

YukoandHiro · 03/10/2022 19:13

Isn't it partly due to housing situation? Im 40 and married but only one of my friends actually has the space to invite anyone round

PalatineHill · 03/10/2022 19:13

I’m really confused by this thread and the ‘informal’ thing now. Obviously fashions have changed and nobody wears suits for fun in the evenings and that’s fine. But apart from that.. Isn’t this just having some friends round for a meal?what’s so crazy about that? Why on earth would a school friend laugh if they got an invite?

Then on the other hand I hate going out to dinner with friends. There’s always a drama about timekeeping, who booked it, restaurants wanting confirmations in advance and whatnot. My budget is pretty much pub food or local restaurants and honestly I am not so wowed by the food compared to what I could make at home. I’d rather have a fun dinner party/house party. Maybe I never left the 80s?

JoanThursday · 03/10/2022 19:14

This thread has made me feel very nostalgic!

In the 1970s, my dad was a member of Round Table and mum Ladies' Circle. They used to host dinner parties: mum in a long dress, nails done, lippy on; dad in a suit. Like a pp said, cigar and cigarette smoke would waft up the stairs, along with the music and chatter. It always seemed so glamorous to my 7yo self.

Still remember a knock on the door and a booming voice outside on the landing shouting to us: "can you keep it down please? There are grown ups trying to sleep downstairs" 🤣

... then we would creep downstairs in the morning to the 'delightful' smell of stale smoke and eat the crisps and snacks left overnight.

Them were the days!

Pinktrews77 · 03/10/2022 19:15

We used to when we were young but then when dc came along we invited two or three new people to Sunday lunch instead but no one dressed up.

Then later on, we would have the odd casual supper for friends and their teen dc. But then the pandemic came along and we got out of the habit of entertaining and our house was a mess with everyone wfh.

Latterly, we decided to have one casual dinner party to celebrate the “end” of the pandemic. And I don’t know whether it’s because we are older, or we were out of practice, or it took a lot of effort to get the house back in to entertaining mode, but honestly we found it exhausting and expensive.

I must have done two extra shops for meat, cheese and fresh salad on top of my supermarket order and even though I was watching my budget, and it was only for seven of us, the total price was shocking! And it took me ages dragging heavy bags back to the car etc. Then sorting all the table, cutlery etc etc. And don’t start me on the clearing up!

Honestly, we are too tired now with the demands of work and teen dc. We tend to just have people around for tea and cake or we order in a takeaway or , on special occasions, we go out.

nowornevers · 03/10/2022 19:15

When my neighbours and I do it it's either a bbq, a takeaway from a restaurant or we each cook part. It's really all for the drinking and the laughs. We usually all wear our slippers

PalatineHill · 03/10/2022 19:15

I’m talking about all eating around the kitchen table by the way.. I only know one person with a dining room and really that’s their hallway.

queenMab99 · 03/10/2022 19:16

We used to in the 80s, perhaps 3 couples including us, whole day devoted to cooking, then an hour to get ready, set the table uncork the wine, quiet conversation, ending in fairly good humoured political arguments! Before that we were quite poor as exh was still at university and then when he got a job, I went on maternity leave, so we used to have friends round and would have a 2 litre bottle of Blackthorn dry cider, and crisps, between us, usually at our house as we were the only ones with a child. We had lots of cheap parties with loads of cheese and baguettes, crisps, sausage rolls, and over 30 people in a small 2 up 2 down. A record player for music, and a queue for the toilet😂
We were only poor but we had some fun!

SkankingWombat · 03/10/2022 19:16

We do a more informal style of dinner party these days. Still the same effort in the food, good wine, and stay up late chatting away, but the dress is informal, we have an open plan more informal space to host in, and the DCs join us for each course (disappearing in between) although ideally I put them on their own children's table. DCs eat pudding in the living room in front of a film then are packed off upstairs to sleep, including our guests' DCs. Guests either stay over or scoop up the sleeping DCs at home time.

YukoandHiro · 03/10/2022 19:16

This has just reminded me that when we moved house in 1990 we moved to a small village where there was a regular "carousel" dinner, where you'd go to a different house for each course. And the bastards never invited my parents to join in.
I think this is just one of the reasons why I fled to London as soon as I could

Original poster
Comedycook · 03/10/2022 19:17

Isn’t this just having some friends round for a meal?

Yew of course I often go to friends and eat but it's very different.

In the old days, the table would be properly set with the good china and glasses, three courses would be served, it was a lot more formal than nowadays when someone preps some fajitas on the kitchen island and everyone tucks in.

OP posts:
MumofSpud · 03/10/2022 19:18

My parents and 3 other couples used to go to dinner at one couple's house every week in the 80s - 3 course meal / drinks trolley
I can clearly remember making the wives their G & Ts (I would have been 11/12Blush) before going up to bed
I remember the smell of gin / cigarettes/ perfume
When it was my mum's turn she'd practise what she was going to cook !

I have never had a dinner party Envy

Gubu · 03/10/2022 19:21

I love a 1980s dinner party. I said to dh at the weekend that I want to do one soon, we haven't since pre covid. We don't have a separate dining room but I'll get the dc to lay the table with the good matching dinnerware and take out my very beautiful wine glasses. I've a notebook of recipes I've done before and for who!

Leftbutcameback · 03/10/2022 19:24

I got the idea some of it was about entertaining your husband's boss etc, and so it was quite formal because you didn't necessarily know the other couples that well. I think most people would go out to dinner in those circumstances now.

midsomermurderess · 03/10/2022 19:24

I thought dinner parties had morphed into kitchen suppers, for a certain demographic anyway.

MichaelAndEagle · 03/10/2022 19:25

I think smaller houses and less formality is the reason.
Even people in 40s age bracket would be lucky to have house with large dining table in many parts of country.
I have small fold away table in my living room for example, not ideal for dinner party, but fine for wine and pizza night.

schnubbins · 03/10/2022 19:26

We still do this especially in Winter .The last few years it has been a bit difficult due to Covid but we just had a smaller group .The last time I had a really big party it was New Years eve 2019 and we had five couples for drinks , three course meal , wine and and and..Great fun but so much preparation and work .it works well with my husband because we are a good team in the kitchen. lately though I'm so sick of cooking so not too sure if it will go ahead this winter.

Notjusta · 03/10/2022 19:27

Aww I am loving this thread! It's making me want to do a proper dinner party as haven't had one for ages. I'm also reminiscing about being little and my parents hosting, and being taken to parent's friend's houses and put upstairs with the other kids while the grown ups ate.

WonderingWanda · 03/10/2022 19:32

My parents did this, if they were really serious they wheeled out the hostess trolley as well!

fleurdelee · 03/10/2022 19:32

Comedycook · 03/10/2022 19:17

Isn’t this just having some friends round for a meal?

Yew of course I often go to friends and eat but it's very different.

In the old days, the table would be properly set with the good china and glasses, three courses would be served, it was a lot more formal than nowadays when someone preps some fajitas on the kitchen island and everyone tucks in.

Oh gosh I can remember these
My mother would do honeydew melon made into a boat with a slice of orange and a glacé cherry
Some kind of chicken chasseur and then maybe a chocolate mousse

I remember perching on the landing and looking down into the hall as the adults arrived
And yes the smell of gin and perfume and cigarettes
I hardly do dinner parties now, find it stressful

TheLeadbetterLife · 03/10/2022 19:34

My parents never did this, but I do. Love a dinner party. Obv no-one shows up in a suit, but a little part of me wishes they would.