A 1980s dinner party and do people still have them?

[Comedycook]

So I was reminiscing with my sister earlier.

Growing up in the 80s, our parents would host "proper" dinner parties.

The table would be set, prior to dinner, drinks and nibbles would be provided in the living room, a three course dinner would be served in the dining room, then afterwards more drinks would be served in the living room...brandies and whisky I presume.

The men would wear suits, children would be sent to bed or left with babysitters.

Do people still do this nowadays? When we get together with friends now, the whole evening is so informal in comparison. My parents dinner parties seem very grown up in comparison!

So just wondering if people still have "proper" dinner parties? Is it just very posh people or is it stuck firmly in the past?!

OP, that brings back memories! My mum would do quite lavish dinner parties in the 1980s, everyone would be dressed smartly. Sometimes the kids would help set up - I remember once my sister and I made 'orange and clove pomanders' with ribbons on them to decorate the lounge. We'd lurk on the stairs watching their friends come in, and because the dining room had glass doors we'd mime silly walks to the guests from the kitchen 😄

Chestnut parve for dessert was one of my mum's dinner party specialities, and yes, she did have a hostess trolley!

This has got me thinking that DH or I ought to do a proper 80s dinner party for one of our birthdays - with the dressing up and everything, although not necessarily 80s fancy clothes.

The 80s was definitely the last gasp of that mid century formality being commonplace, I don’t remember men wearing suits for a standard midweek dinner mind you. My mum had a v relaxed style and was I not a competitive cook but a lot of people were.

I did teen DPs in the late 80s, half avocados with an enormously pungent garlic vinaigrette, and chocolate mouse for pudding which were my mum’s staples.

I still have people round and eat at other people’s houses, but (with a few exceptions) it’s way more relaxed..

My parents did this a lot in the 70s and 80s.I remember my mum coming to say goodnight and me thinking how beautiful she looked in her long dress and hair all done. She wore Je Reviens perfume and the scent takes me back 45 years. As does the smell of cigarettes, pipes, and whisky and sherry! I was looking at photos in her house just today. My dad was in Rotary and he often wore smart suits or a blazer. Except one where he's dressed as a vicar.

My parents were a hard act to follow, and we never invite people home for dinner, preferring small gatherings with family/friends in local pubs or restaurants. Not sure if I'm lazy or just easily overwhelmed.

I wonder if the houses were more suited to formal dinner parties back then..you were more likely to have a separate dining room and the kitchen wasn't suitable for socialising...whereas now, people are more likely to have open plan living which makes socialising more informal.

I always host a 'pre-Christmas' Christmas dinner party for my girlfriends. We all dress up in our finest LBDs and I decorate the table to include name cards. It starts off very civilised with prosecco etc but descends into chaos after dinner once the Christmas Spotify playlist gets going. Conversation inevitably turns to reminiscing about men we shagged in our 20s and ends up with at least one friend drunkenly crying - awkward when the husband/partner turns up to collect them and wonders WTF has happened 😅

We did this until about five years ago. Now we have friends for a takeaway instead. It's just as much fun and much less faff. But I do miss it a bit, if I am being honest, seeing the table laid with napkins and glasses and good cutlery, with candles and flowers.

We've done this a few times, mostly to reciprocate when people have had us over. I find it extremely stressful as all my friends have specific dietary needs (religious or ethical, so I won't accidentally kill them, but still)!

Love this thread! Brings back loads of memories! I agree OP that houses were more suited to that kind of formal dinner party in the past, with separate dining room and kitchen. My parents regularly had formal dinner parties in the 80's and as a teen, I would be required to stay in on a Saturday night and help serve the food. I also made the dessert for most of them, generally profiteroles or cheesecake! When I got my own house in the '90's, we would have proper dinner parties but then we knocked down the wall between our kitchen and dining room so if we have people over for dinner these days, it's much less formal. Nobody shows up in a suit 😁

My parents held dinner parties- mainly 70s but into the early 80s. My dad was in a sales role and although my mum wasn't an employee she would often cook lavish meals for overseas clients.
We would have an early tea and then go and sit on the upstairs landing watching mum in her long dress and dad in a smart suit chatting with the guests.

That sounds like so much fun @PollyCreo. Definitely going to do that this Christmas!

I just love hosting a dinner party….as long as I have the time to prep everything in advance (usually lots of swear words whilst cooking!) but equally love having friends round for a takeaway. Friends reciprocate and it’s usually less expensive than eating out at a restaurant and paying crazy prices for a bottle of plonk!

You’ve got me thinking about hosting an 80’s themed night with melon to start with glacé cherries, duck a l’orange and a Black Forest gateau for pud!!

We do and most of our social circle do. I’m planning one for ten days time so I can get my orders submitted in time. I don’t perceive them as ‘80s’ just a pleasant way of spending an evening with friends.

I think we’d be a bit askance if someone wore a lounge suit. DJ for dinners (obviously) but just chino’s or dark cord and a blazer for a kitchen supper.
Younger neighbours do likewise. Maybe it’s regional or even down to parochial norms.

We have a retro heated hostess trolley. It’s great at Christmas as we feed 10-15 people.

My mum used to have dinner parties. My favourite memory was her catching the cat licking the grated Parmesan cheese on the dining table before everyone arrived. She just scooped out the top layer and gave it a shake 🤣

Yes we do in our friendships group but we are all in our 60s now so i guess it's always been normal. I love a proper dinner party.

We never have friends round for dinner or go to other’s houses. We always go out or get a takeaway. Dinner parties are for suburban, status anxious types in my opinion.

DJ obviously! And yes just a blazer for kitchen sups....even if Rupert Campbell Black is coming along!

I love doing this, and my friends love it too, because it gives them an excuse to dress up (although there is no dress code!) and buy nice wine, and they get a fabulous dinner. I'll set the table properly and light candles, there will be pre-dinner drinks and nibbles and it's brilliant.

I am fairly poverty stricken, so everything is on a budget and in a rented house, however my grandparents were quite the opposite. I remember staying with them as a child, and my brother and I watching secretly from the stairway, as people arrived. (We would have been bathed and packed off to bed earlier). Ladies in fur coats, men in dinner jackets and snatches of conversation and laughter floating upstairs until the early hours. There was a exotic smell of cigars, and richly flavoured dishes cooked in wine and brandy. What was especially exciting was that sometimes there was pudding left over and we were allowed to have it with breakfast!

Or just people who like to have fun with their friends.

It is fun but very tiring with all the preparation and clearing up afterwards 😁 I even managed it for the last two Christmases, tricky when the restrictions were in place 😲 I channel my inner 'Thanksgiving Monica' though and it all goes to plan 😅

We have dinner parties as you describe apart from the suits, more smart casual. I can't think of anyone I know, over the age of 28, who doesn't have a separate dining room, although some are used as home offices as well these days, and some dine in more of a garden room.
We have kitchen suppers also, but they are more likely to happen during the week.
My parents only ever had relations over for a meal and that was usually Sunday lunch.

I remember my grandmother doing an avocado starter, and orange sorbet in a scooped out orange (she made the sorbet herself). My grandfather would do a dish such as peppered steak, or chateaubriand. They were a bit Margot and Jerry 😂.

Yes! We host and attend these regularly although they usually end with lots more drinks, music and dancing.

My mum is posh and definitely still has dinner parties like that, and she’ll invite new friends with old friends so people who don’t know one another mingle. We would be sent to bed.

My partner and I used too, fizz and posh crisps etc and then 2 home cooked courses followed by port etc (or shots😂) - more informal. We also used to hold a Christmas do every year with homemade sausage rolls, mince pies etc. We would make mulled wine and sing carols, it was lovely.

it changed when we had children, most of our old friends don’t have children. They did start again when the children were reliably in bed by 7. Then covid hit and the kids stopped going to bed at 7 and they’re noisy so and so’s, I so it’s petered out again. Plus we were rarely invited back, my partner is an incredible cook and they reckon they’re intimidated!

Or perhaps sociable rural types with no restaurants close by. Don’t you think takeaways are for food shovelling, lazy types with no culinary talents?

I am clearly stuck in the 80s as I do these dinner parties. Drinks in the upstairs sitting room, dinner downstairs (starter, main, pudding, cheese, red and white wine), then coffee/chocolates and a digestif.