I almost died in the stupidest way

[Chloefairydust]

So I woke up with the worst of sore throats, and I’m the kind of person who when I come down with a cold, it literally drags on for weeks and weeks and normally leads to a chest infection.

That is until I discovered the gross but effective cure of raw garlic. I read somewhere that if you swallow a small whole raw small garlic clove with a glass of water that it cures the common cold. It actually does work as well. I have been doing this for the past couple of years.

Until this morning, and somehow this garlic clove was just the right shape to get lodged in my throat. I couldn’t breathe or swallow or make a sound. I was home alone and sooo frightened. Somehow I managed to hit my own chest with my head facing down and spat out the offending garlic. So I almost died in the stupidest of ways….

I think now on I’m going to chop the garlic into tiny pieces to cure a cold.

But thought I would warn people who might be as stupid as me not to kill yourself with garlic 🧄

If you have had a near death experience in a similarly stupid way please share to make me feel less of an idiot?

I was eating leftover cold rice from the fridge. Ate too much too quickly and it got stuck in my throat. So I gulped down a glass of water and next thing I knew, I was choking. Absolutely could not breathe.

I banged on the kitchen wall to get someone's attention and DD, who was about 15 at the time and much smaller than me, came running in. She saw me wild-eyed and choking, grabbed me round the waist with both fists and pushed upwards. She actually lifted me off the ground. Up came the rice and I gasped for air.

Little sweetheart heart saved my life.

This thread is amazing - definitely needs to be in classics. I’m up with the horrible twin ailments of thrush and cystitis - lucky me - and your tales of near death have been just the tonic. Honestly I was miserable but I’ve just laughed so much at these!!

the watering can has got to be a fave . But also being found unconscious by your husband with your broken ankle down the toilet. Just finished me off.

anyway off to drink another pint of water. I’ve nothing to add except that my local Aldi has not had any garlic for about 3 weeks, now I know why! Everyone’s downing cloves left right and centre (and even sticking them up their foof or their cats bum😱).

Not a human death but someone I was at school with had their goldfish drown.

It was one of those times in the 1980s when they advised you to boil water before drinking.

The goldfish needed the water changing so the mum dutifully boiled and cooled a tank's worth of water not realising she had boiled the a lot of the oxygen out of it.

I hope you reported the perving twat. He nearly killed you. I would have said he pushed me into the wall.

My class collectively nearly killed off a student teacher when I was about 12. It was Red Nose Day, and we were raising money by getting the teachers to teach their lessons with their feet in buckets of iced water. Not all of them were up for it, but the lovely young student who was taking us for chemistry that term was game.

She was standing at the front, demonstrating an experiment on how explosive potassium is. She had a spoon in her hand with a massive lump on it - somehow it wobbled off the spoon and landed on the floor, right in between the two buckets. Had it landed in the water, it would have blown her up.

I’ve never seen anyone go so white.

A patient broke my wrist at work, and so I was at home and unable to go into work.

Whilst quite bored at home I decided to climb into the loft and put bits away, get bits out like the independent woman that I am.

Turns out, that's really hard to do with one arm.

I couldn't put the ladder up with one hand so dragged a table under the hatch and pulled myself up.

I fell out of the loft hatch, unable to grab anything on the way down. I landed on the wooden half wall at the top of the stairs and luckily bounced onto the table and landed in a sweary heap on the hall way floor. Had I hit the half wall and fallen the other way, it was a 16ft drop down concrete stairs.

Scratched, bruised, and ended up with a broken table and a very unimpressed DH when he came home.

Gosh that reminds me of my dog when I was a teen. Border collie x staff.
Strong little bugger.
I was 16.
That little bitch spotted a squirrel about a mile away and just took off, dragging me on my arse behind her.
Rope burnt all my hands and wrists where I'd wrapped the lead (never do that!) And was clinging in for dear life. Bloody dog.

Favourite post of the thread

Um what?

report who?
the child?

@phishy I was assuming a young child not a perv?

Ah sorry, I thought some random man had pinched her, not the child

Apologies to your friend but this really, really made me laugh 😂

that was totally the teacher's fault. What an idiot

Arnica isn’t actually homeopathic it is herbal. No scientist ever said that herbs don’t have medicinal properties and herbs have been sued as medicine and acknowledged by science since time immemorial. Homeopathy by definition means it is a substance diluted until no actual molecules of that substance exist so scientifically it is nothing more than sugar water. The founder of homeopathy also said each remedy has to be prepared by hitting the bottle on a leather saddle. It is a crackpot belief.

One of the (many, many) times I knocked myself out was running full pelt down a very steep bank and then coming to a dead stop st the bottom.

Well - my feet came to a dead stop, the rest of me carried on moving and I went face first down onto the path, cracking my forehead on a rock. I also took lots of skin off my knees, arms, elbows and face.

Happy days.

Lady I dog walk with ended up damaging her back - she had one of those dog leads attached to a belt around her waist, with her labrador (unneutered, male, large, determined) on the other end.

Dog decided on a whim to launch itself at another dog on the opposite side of the field and just took off - 0-60 in about 5 seconds, dragging her with it. The sudden jerk on her spine was tremendous. It was pretty nasty.

@Daftasabroom yes please tell us more details, this sounds like quite a story… 😱

Far, far too identifying.

But I can say that the second time we actually got hit about 4 times in one day. We'd learned not to hold onto or stand close to anything metal, just lie flat, on the first strike I was standing next to a metal structure and it arced across to my head. I thought something had been dropped on my head, and it like I was wearing a baseball hat about five sizes too small for about a week We also got to recognise the buzz or fizz as the charge built and the weird smell of ozone just before a strike.

I was in a friend's band practice room to repair one their amplifiers.

I was checking for a loose connection, found it, soldered it and switched the amp on. I touched the metal part of the handle and was thrown across the room and ended up against the far wall.

When I soldered the loose wire, another wire had come loose and touched the underside of the handle. Being an idiot, I hadn't bothered to check that everything was 100% correct before turning it on.

Ok. Have any of you ever seen randy Kay’s channel on you tube where he interviews people who died for a little while and survived…. Its super fascinating . I can’t stop watching.

Oooh!

I'll have to have a look for that @Lalayaya

Many years ago, I was eating chips, and started to choke. I was sat at a table with five other people who all just sat staring at me as I wheezed and wheezed. I genuinely thought I was going to pop my clogs. Someone from another table (or so I thought) had the presence of mind to thump me on the back and when that didn’t work, she did the Heimlich on me. That worked.
I was a student nurse, and virtually every bugger in that major hospital staff canteen had medical or first aid training but didn’t move to help me. The woman who did had been on the cash desk at the end of the serving line, she had no first aid training and had only started working that week. She’d seen the Heimlich being done to somebody on the tv.
My five classmates were all very apologetic, as were others in the canteen. They all said they thought I was joking, we’d been having a laugh about the various ward placements that we’d all been given that morning.

Crying with laughter 😂😂😂😂 glad you lived to tell the tale!

I once tried leaning out of my van to pick something up off the ground, not thinking it through as my foot came off the brake and the can rolled forwards, trapping my thigh against a brick wall...I managed to extricate myself, can't remember how, but had the most horrendous bruising. Could have been much worse; I think if the wall hadn't been there I might have fallen out and run myself over!
The other thing I did was to fall on top of an empty aquarium which was being temporarily stored just outside the back door. I was putting an airer load of washing outside and tripped and fell fully backwards onto it, absolutely smashed it to smithereens, luckily only one bad cut, on my shin, which needed gluing. Could have severed an artery. Was home alone at the time.