Your fave unfeminist things

[Guiltyfeminist91]

Hi all! So I found myself watching the movie Overboard yesterday (original with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell) and as much as I adored it as much as when I was a teenager I can't help but feel a tad guilty for enjoying such an 'unfeminist' film.

You can google for full context and plot but if you haven't seen it, it's essentially a movie about a man who takes advantage of the fact that a 'rich bitch' woman who previously treated him like dirt develops amnesia. So he convinces her that she's his wife, and mother to his 4 ill-behaved boys, and has her do all his housework, cooking, parenting etc They end up falling in love.

It just got me thinking that a chat about all our favourite unfeminist things could be a laugh. Doesnt necessarily have to be a movie. Just anything you enjoy that makes the feminist in you cringe!

Thoughts?

That must have been very harsh for you to face?

@Speedweed - they've not all died out! My husband is a 'capable man'. I see so many men around him not being able or willing to do this or that. He is strong, fixes stuff, gets up early, cleans the dirtiest things, builds, chops wood, navigates, etc etc the list goes on. He is not perfect and sometimes I want to throttle him but he is a manly capable man and I absolutely love that.

felulageller, yes, a disturbing thread.
It's not even in a spirit of lightheartedness.

Pretty Woman. I adore that film and hate myself for adoring it.

Centuries of being socialised to be a certain way, doesn't get wiped out in a couple of decades! Surely the important thing is that despite enjoying overboard and fancying Gene Hunt, women now expect not to be subjected to sexist behaviour at work, to earn the same wage for the same job, and all that other important stuff which affects real life?
We can do the bins, but there's nothing wrong in delegating the job to someone who can lug them to the pavement more easily!

Blurred lines is a cracking song. One of my favourite blast out when the kids aren't in the car.

Men

Get a grip.

@ImAvingOops dont engage, they just want to ruin the thread.

Another one - DH bringing me flowers.

I love my male partner, because he is so masculine - big muscles, Broad shoulders, and I am turned on by feeling feminine beside him. That's not the same as helpless - it's powerful, sexual and delicious, but very feminine (and yes, I love it when he lifts me and takes me in a way I could never lift or take him!)

I wouldn't dream of carrying a big weight or putting up a picture, never mind doing DIY and he always drives when we are together. He likes those things, I don't. My life is better, accepting his service in these ways.

I am a big feminist in lots of ways - helped found two women's charities, written books with female empowerment theme, all my charitable donations are to girls' schooling etc, I do pro-bono coaching exclusively for women. I earn a lot in a high powered job. I call out all and any discrimination when I see it,

However, I'm not one who equates my feminism to 'I have to act like a man or claim there are no differences'. It's about the choice to be whoever you want to be and I want that choice for all girls and women.

I don't think it's my feminist duty to take the bins out... I think it's more empowered to have my man do it. 😀

80-90s hair metal music. Mostly completely sexist/objectifying women. But I love it.

I am on an alarm call out and when I get called out in the middle of the night my dh comes with me.

Totally my guilty pleasure. The cheerleaders have to be incredibly fit and agile, available to train and work all hours for tiny pay while the footballers get the megabucks. They wear the tiniest of costumes, can't be putting on any weight and have to be on brand at all time and appear to be loving every minute. They pull them apart and make them look stupid for not knowing random facts about American football and the players, there a coach called Kitty who is just vile. I spend my whole time wondering why on earth the girls put themselves through it while also being fascinated.

Singing along to Sweat (lalala la long) by Inner Circle, when motorway driving alone.

It’s on a nice upbeat reggae compilation CD I have.

My husband is very capable, but I love doing DIY! I also love cooking, so I tend to do that, he washes up. He does the bins and cat litter. Not sure if these things are ‘unfeminist’ though. Personally there is nothing more unattractive to me than a man who doesn’t lift a finger in the house, or is an equal parent. I find it disrespectful and lazy.

I hate womens football
I just do not care (even more than men's football)
Feel baaad just saying it

Most of the 80s/90s films that I loved in my adolescence now make the feminist in me angry. But somehow I still enjoy watching them and a little bit of me still wishing I was Sandy as I sing along to Hopelessly Devoted and Better Shape Up etc. I also refuse to deal with spiders if DH is around.

I appease my inner feminist by using sexism in films as a discussion point/lesson in feminism for my DC and teaching DD not to fear spiders (this has backfired now, as my spider catcher has left home and DH is out of practice!)

Overboard is alright in my book. Wasn’t it written and exec produced by women? And Goldie Hawn was the bigger box-office name in 1987.

I think the overly rigid, clubby aspect of a certain presentation of feminism, where other women can be sneered at, shamed or excluded if they’re deemed to be not feminist enough or failing in some way, is quite unhelpful.

I don’t personally agree with every single stance Deborah Frances White has, but I like her, and I think that loose concept of the ‘guilty’ feminist is quite helpful. No human is perfect and striving for overt rigidity isn’t realistic.

Actually this sounds like an amazing alternative Feminist ending. I bet you could that with loads more films too.

I'm technically the worst feminist. I'm such a girly girl, spend all my spare money on clothes and beauty products, won't leave the house without make up, don't do sport, and love a rom com. I'm a SAHM, can't drive, and DP does spiders, bins and all DIY.

Rabbit by Chas and Dave

Agree with loads of these.

Mine is spiders. Or daddy long legs.

Basically i run everything here but the men are in charge of dealing with the creepy crawlies.

I also miss the capable man. My dad, built the shed, grew the veg, concreted the drive, built all the wardrobes, did all the decorating, serviced the car, understood money, cleaned the gutters, put up shelves, unblocked the sink and worked full time in a professional job. Now all that would cost ££££££££.
(I didn't find my own capable man so I learnt how to do many of those jobs myself - not the car or the concreting though!)

I agree with 99% of these.

Me and dh have blue and pink jobs. Examples I cook and he does the bins.
Dh does the driving

I like to set the house for dh getting back from work. Log burner on, candles on, run about for half an hour tidying up. Have dinner in the oven. Brush my hair and freshen up.

I always get the men to go off and stand in long lines for drinks. It’s totally sexist behavior by me. But I explain to them very clearly it’s pay back for all they’ve benefited from the patriarchy. I’ve got to stop doing it because it just be unbelievably annoying. But I do kinda feel it is some payback.

To be honest if a female friend, work colleague or acquaintance felt the need to 'explain to me very clearly' that due to the patriarchy she deserves to sit on her arse while I should be the one to go and queue for drinks they would find themselves not included in any future round.

Yes!