Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Did you enjoy your wedding day

117 replies

Popsicle72 · 23/09/2022 22:31

Was chatting to friend today and we got chatting about wedding. She admitted she didn’t enjoy her day due to in law stress etc and I said I really didn’t enjoy being the centre of attention and felt I was just going through the motions if that makes sense. In hindsight I wish we had had a tiny wedding instead of 100 guests. Do many of you have regrets about your day and wish you had done it differently?

OP posts:

BonesOfWhatYouBelieve · 24/09/2022 09:22

Yes. But because I knew I wouldn't enjoy a big wedding, we had a registry office, 10 guests, and a casual lunch. It wouldn't be for everyone, but for us it was perfect.

BestIsWest · 24/09/2022 09:34

It was a lovely day. 70 guests. However we had a big wedding for family reasons - it was more what my parents wanted and I’m not sure it was worth all the stress beforehand. DH and I would have been happier with a small wedding. I’ve always told my DC to do exactly what they want if ever they get married.

SedentaryCat · 24/09/2022 09:44

Did I enjoy my wedding day? No, not at all.

The whole event was completely out of mine and DHs control by the time the wedding day arrived. We wanted a small celebration but instead we over 150 guests (3 times the number we wanted) the church was so full that people were standing at the sides and at the back.

Every time we tried to limit the guest list MIL had such bad hysterics that we had no choice but to relent.

My father didn't like my choice of DH and made it abundantly clear that he wasn't going to contribute. He even told my PILs and mum and step-dad that my marriage wouldn't last. It'll be 30 years next July.

I could go on, but I won't. Wished we'd eloped.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings

user1471548941 · 24/09/2022 09:47

We had the MN hated massive wedding, 2 nights for our guests in a countryside hotel (we live 5 mins up the road but most of my DH’s family are 4 hours away!), 80 people, postponer for Covid, etc etc etc.

we LOVED every second, it took us about a week to come down from it. The ceremony was very emotional and personal, we sat at dinner amazed at how incredible and probably once in a lifetime it was to have all our friends and family in one room together and then we danced the night away with them! It was utter magic and we still can’t believe that was our day!

nannybeach · 24/09/2022 09:57

Same as Sedentary Cat,bossy overbearing MIL,was going to Gretna,had booked, just us and 4 DKs. Changed venues, for wedding and reception 4 times to suit guests. Had honeymoon first because we couldn't afford to loose the money. Politely said regret there was no room for children, arranged bouncy castle and adult,in our garden just a few miles away. No-one used them, elderly relatives ended up standing while kids sat.at the reception,I ended up on the last table. DH brother sat one side of him,brats the other,and they refused to move! They ruined the photos,(that we did have) BIL both camera and video batteries flat. Got photos from guests. Bitterly regret not doing what We wanted. Oh,only child,and F and second wife didn't even come!

nannybeach · 24/09/2022 10:00

Kids who are used to something and chips, didn't like the pub menu,there was no kids menu....but they weren't actually invited. They ruined another family wedding not long before.

allof · 24/09/2022 10:03

No. It was supposed to be a quick, no fuss, intimate register office marriage, but escalated into around 50 people being involved. I disliked every minute.

I wish we'd just gone alone with two witnesses, as originally planned.

TheVanguardSix · 24/09/2022 10:13

No. Awful day. I had Norovirus or something like it (doesn’t matter, whatever it was, I puked my vows!). It was a dreadful day, really. MIL was a poison dwarf who wrote me the most scathing letter (I’d never even met her and my ex had only resumed contact to tell her he was remarrying- I believe it was after she told her son she’d fucked God and sent two Persian cats (mid-divorce) to his ex wife, that he decided to go NC.
We had a terrible marriage. His family was just insane. He was mental. And now, he’s in prison. We’re divorced (I just need to shoehorn in that happy ending).
I try not to think about any of it, but I end up thinking about it all the time. He really really really really broke me down.
So, if you’re vomiting on your wedding day and it’s NOT because you’re pregnant, my advice is, take the sign from God or the devil and run for the hills.

TheVanguardSix · 24/09/2022 10:16

Sorry… turning myself into the grammar police! I didn’t close my parentheses after ‘NC’ in my post. I do that all the time (I probably shouldn’t use parentheses since I’m so shit at closing them).
Brackets! They’re called brackets over here, right? 😳 Shit. I’ll get my coat.

Jayneisagirlsname · 24/09/2022 10:18

I thought I was going to hate it. I don't like having my picture taken or having everyone looking at me. I almost called it off purely because of my fears.
As it turned out, I absolutely loved my day and felt amazing and loved. We had about 40 people and because I knew they all loved us and were happy for us, I wasn't nervous. I think I thought I was supermodel for that 1 day

allof · 24/09/2022 10:18

My MIL didn't even speak to me on our wedding day.

I'd also like to add that I'm separated, soon to be divorced.

SudocremOnEverything · 24/09/2022 10:25

etulosba · 24/09/2022 08:54

I guess, what I’m saying is that the MN standard wisdom that the best days are low key and cheap isn’t always true. Sometimes it’s just a bit shit.

I can relate to that. My no frills, no guests, no fuss, just us, the registrar and two witnesses we didn’t know wedding was pretty bad. The aftermath was worse. We didn’t last a year.

I wouldn’t want to repeat it.

Yeah.

I think it’s because the ‘no fuss’ actually was ‘not special’. And that set the course for the whole marriage.

Small can be special. And special
can mean different things to people. But having a conversation with the man who has asked you to marry him (and then been really keen to organise something for a articulate date just over a month from the day he suggested it) about what to wear which includes him saying that it’s ‘just’ a little thing so it would be ridiculous too look like we’re getting married. Feeling you have to talk him up into it actually being an enormously significant occasion is shit.

With hindsight, I would now have just responded to that with ‘let’s not bother then’. If it’s not special and worth a bit of fuss - even if it’s just us, getting dressed up and feeling like it’s a special event - then it’s definitely not worth doing. I excused it as stress and exhaustion with a small baby etc.

But no. It was actually much more than that. Within a week he was saying things like ‘you’re my wife now, so you must…’ and it headed further downhill from there.

I look back and think that tiny DS was trying to tell me something as he screamed and screamed through the whole thing. I should have just stopped the bloody thing and fed him. I should have been marrying a man who would have encouraged that. A man who wasn’t threatened by his infant son’s basic needs being prioritised so that our relationship could then be celebrated properly. 10 minutes of breastfeeding and then doing the (very short) ceremony would have changed everything. But it was clear that wasn’t going to be ok. So I got to make vows as DS screamed.

There are very few photos of the day. Just some taken by FIL on his phone (which has a dreadful camera). Most of them include me holding an obviously irate baby.

SudocremOnEverything · 24/09/2022 10:27

So, if you’re vomiting on your wedding day and it’s NOT because you’re pregnant, my advice is, take the sign from God or the devil and run for the hills.

i feel the same about my screaming baby experience!

I should have just said: you know what? I’m not doing this. I’m going to feed my baby now. And fucked off.

TakeawayManAlan · 24/09/2022 10:27

First one - no
Second one - no
Third one - yes
Fourth one - no

Third and fourth were to the same person

Heres to number 5 🥂

SunflowerSmith · 24/09/2022 10:33

When I was choosing my dress the shop owner told me that her biggest regret was inviting family members who she hardly saw but was expected to over friends so I invited everyone I wanted and close family.
All together there were 60 in the day and 100 for the evening and we had an amazing time, it was 14 years ago and friends still comment it was the best one they'd been to.
We didn't do anything other than the standard church wedding, meal and disco but it felt such a great day because there was no drama, stress or awkward dynamics, it was just a bunch of nice people who all got along having a great time.

PermanentTemporary · 24/09/2022 10:41

@TakeawayManAlan absolutely excellent 😀

Yes. Mostly I did enjoy it. A lot of it worked really well and there was a sense of achievement in having 120 guests and looking after them. But we were railroaded into an event twice the size we wanted by my MIL, which did make it much harder work. Also because dp and I were in our 30s, it seemed like every friend we had came with 3 kids. In hindsight we should have had a barbecue or something much more freeform. But having said all that - it had some really great moments and I smile whenever I see my beautiful dress.

bellsbuss · 24/09/2022 10:43

I loved it , everyone said it was the most relaxed , fun wedding they had ever been too. We partied all day and night which was what we wanted.

NothingIsCertain · 24/09/2022 10:45

Mine would have been amazing if it wasn't for the in laws!

Guilt tripping, demanding, arguing etc....kinda puts a taint on the prep and the day. Wouldn't mind, but never make any effort with us usually!

Why is it always the in laws too....my family just went with the flow and helped when needed, and I hear that quite often.

ImAvingOops · 24/09/2022 10:49

Mine was average, at best. We were young and skint so were planning to have a small wedding and a party at home. Mil pushed to have the reception at hers and then had a strop because she didn't cope well under pressure. Fil fell out with his aunt and refuse to drive up and collect her so dh ended up doing it the day before, when I really could have done with his help!

We didn't rehearse properly so vicar mispronounced dh's foreign middle name which put me in mind of Rowan Atkinson and we both got the giggles.

The vicar also did a really long sermon and so I got bored even at my own wedding!

Couldnt afford a honeymoon, which is my biggest regret - we had no money do I was in work on the following Monday.

I did have a lovely dress though and nice wedding rings

ThisIsNotARealAvo · 24/09/2022 10:51

We had a big expensive wedding, the kind that is often sneered at on here, but it was amazing and I really enjoyed it. I spent ages planning every detail so it was perfect, and nothing went wrong on the day, luckily.

MrsTimRiggins · 24/09/2022 10:51

Oh I loved it. Every single second once I got to the church (my mum and sisters were causing problems at the time and the atmosphere getting ready wasn’t good)
it was everything I’d hoped it would be and was worth every Penny we’d splurged on it.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 24/09/2022 10:59

We wanted a quiet wedding. I wasn't expecting any of the romanticised 'happiest day of your life' stuff, but it did end up being one of them. We went off and married in one of the most romantic cities in Italy. Our only guests were a couple we are close friends with and their children. It was magical, and if we had our time over again, we'd do it exactly the same way.

oceanbleu · 24/09/2022 11:07

We had two ceremonies. One was more intimate which I thought was really lovely and the other was a larger affair (120 guests- which is TINY within my culture) which no, I didn't enjoy much. It was quite stressful. Would've been happy with the first, however the second pleased our parents and family so I'm happy they enjoyed the day.

TenoringBehind · 24/09/2022 11:10

No, I didn’t at all.

it was a tiny wedding, family only, because we were very short of money and didn’t want family paying for it and telling us what to do (which is what they wanted). I hate being the centre of attention and having my photo taken, and my mother behaved badly and had a face like she’d sucked a lemon all day.

00deed1988 · 24/09/2022 11:11

I loved it (although maybe got a little too drunk) but we had a working mens club hired with a big garden, buffet, DJ and it didn't cost us the earth. I think if we had spent tens of thousands with the sit down meal ect, we wouldn't have enjoyed it nearly as much (obviously I know people can enjoy this, but not for me). It was really laid back, we danced, drank, laughed and caught up with people.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5