I think I'm finally admitting that I have a drink problem

[Liuckle]

I'm in my 40s and I've drank since I was a teenager

I don't drink during the week but I get through 2-3 bottles of wine plus a few spirits every Friday and Saturday night. It had even crept up to half a bottle on a Sunday too but I at least stopped that

I'd say my intake has increased over the last decade although I always got drunk on nights out.

I run my own business and I'm actually super fit as I train hard. I've got kids who are doing well and a stable marriage. So I guess I'm high functioning

But I realise more and more that I'd feel lost and sad without weekend drink. That staying sober on occasions is rare.

I don't think my kids notice as I'm not falling around drunk (probably high tolerance now) but I do struggle to focus and remember what I've watched and with peri menopause my body just doesn't process it and I feel a bit shit over the weekend.

I do know that I find it almost impossible to stick to one drink and always have done

My mum was an alcoholic along with other mental health problems so it's probably in my genes.

I'm writing this but come Friday the thought of not drinking will make the weekend seem boring and bleak.

I don't want nasty comments please. I just needed to share and wondered if anyone has advice?

I have been through periods where I wouldn't drink for days or weeks, bit would binge drink at weekends or going out. I stopped that when the hangovers were worse than not having a few drinks. I've never 'needed' alcohol, but like you, I'd feel that I would have a better time with a few drinks. Now I have a glass of wine most evenings, probably 5/7, and I occasionally have a second glass. Rarely a third. Or equivalent - haven't been drunk for 3+ years now.

When people talked about a glass of wine in an evening, I'd think, what's the point of that. Now, I have my one glass at about 11pm - rest of the evening, I'm drinking iced water. I suppose like everything else, it took a while, but now it's a habit, and I don't want any more wine. If I couldn't stick to one drink, I probably wouldn't drink at all because I feel too ill afterwards. Just not worth it for me.

Recognising it is the first step to changing it. Best of luck, it can only get better from here on.
I write this as someone who's family was torn apart by my exDH's drinking and he still won't admit he has a problem. It's so hard for my DC and makes it impossible to coparent.
Please know how powerful and positive this first step you have taken is.

Admitting your pattern of drinking isn’t healthy is a massive first step. You can totally make a change both for you and your family. Can you get something other than alcohol to look forward to? Change your routine to help distract you? Get RL support. And good luck.

I am very similar and don’t know how to stop.

I drink a bottle of wine 3 nights a week, which isn’t a lot compared to some, but I really don’t want to continue.

Sorry, I’m not very helpful, just wanted to say you’re not alone.

Thank you

As someone said I'm just sick of the hangovers. I'd love to be able to just have a glass or two and enjoy them slowly with a meal etc.

I just need to create new habits. Find a way of enjoying the evening without tanking a bottle of wine and more

I don't think we are the only ones.

I think a lot of people struggle

I’d love to be able to buy a bottle and just have 1 glass, but I don’t seem to be able to. Once it’s open, I drink the whole bottle.

Peri menopause is bad enough for my body, but add in the alcohol and I feel awful a lot of the time.

I’ve often thought about trying to get some sort of help, but I’m not sure where to go.

I can totally empathise. Don't know what else to say or suggest. I can sometimes have just one glass, but if I have a second it can get out of hand. Because I am a bit all-or-nothing, I go through spells of being teetotal to break the habit, then will be sensible for a while before consumption creeps back up. You are not alone x

You are not alone. I rarely manage one night a week without drinking. It’s all quite middle class really. It’s wine and can kind of be covered up. Nobody really notices the naked wines case being delivered. And how often that actually is. I realised recently that I start thinking about when I can drink from the morning. Other than weekends and parties I can go until the evening but I can’t relax or sleep really until I’ve had a drink. I’ve started to sneak a few drinks before social events and things. So people don’t see how many I have.
Been referred for counselling recently but not to do with my drinking. I haven’t been honest about that part of my fucked-upness- I probably need AA realistically. But in cold light of day I can’t admit that. I can only say that now because I’ve had a home measured vodka tonic and a bottle of wine.

Don’t let it get worse.

What about starting with the Allan Carr books? He's done a few on drinking. You could also download them for the kindle app to read on your phone so not noticeable to others. Maybe a step in the right direction without plunging into AA etc? Good luck. Like you said, I think a lot of people drink too much and would struggle to give it a miss.

Yes. Yes to all of this. To you OP and responders. I KNOW I have an alcohol problem, but I have lots of other ones too, some of them significant and ongoing and unlikely to change (out of my control).
I like getting pissed. I get to be "at home with myself", if that makes sense to anyone reading this

Could you not go away somewhere for the weekend completely different, to break the habit for that first weekend and it might be easier to carry on for the next weekends.

Aw I could of written this. Except I'm most nights, very rarely get drunk and never done a bottle in a night. But two glasses / half a bottle every night and can't stop :(

I'm healthy in every other way, I exercise, watch my weight, take vitamins, don't eat meat, great skincare regime yet I stick this poison into my body every night 😞

I’m in total admiration that you have written that.The first step and the biggest one to recovery is being truthful with yourself. Please contact Al-Anon to have a chat with them.
Good luck!

There are some interesting stories on this podcast series from people who have given up alcohol.

soberful.com/episodes/

I was the same and my wine consumption crept up and up to most days. Then I had a fall in the garden and completely stopped drinking wine. This was around four months ago. I have also been dieting and have gone down two dress sizes (several more to go!). My point is that it can be done. I don’t really think about wine now. If I feel like a drink I have a skinny lager, calories 89, and that is enough. I so much want to lose a couple more stone I seem to have lost the taste for wine and at around 600 calories a bottle it’s a good thing. The first thing is to realise the problem.

Very similar situation here - I’ve been using the TryDry app and I have found it really helpful, you can count your dry days and track your intake week by week or month by month. It tells you how many units / calories / money you’re saving. I set it to send me a little reminder at 9pm which can be my moment of temptation once the kids are in bed. Very simple but is really helping me be more mindful with my alcohol intake.

Like a pp, I'm on half a bottle a night and have been for years. I buy two of the little bottles to stop me drinking more, which is a ridiculously expensive way to do it.

Probably around 6- 7 nights a month I have a third little bottle too.

I know it could be worse. But it could also be better.

Hi. Recovering alcoholic here. Nearly 7 years sober. I started drinking when my marriage ended. Also had started work as a social worker. Weekend drinking became the norm, a bottle wine Friday and Saturday nights. Then I had to drunk Wednesday as well. Totally unable to stop until no alcohol in the house. Stepped it up to Vodka. Well you will get the picture. Of course you will struggle if you are used to the drink. I tried everything I could but it took a lot for me to get sober, including a £9000 rehab. Honestly, alcoholic or not, the best thing is just to stop. Get a drink buddy. Phone her if you are going to drink. She can remind you why you want to stop. Think of the money you can spend on other treats.

Ok, having been in your shoes (except I was drinking every day), here’s what I did to quite successfully 2.5 years ago and remain alcohol free ever since:

• immersed myself in guidance: there is a whole genre of writing called Quit Lit, read everything you can find to see which ones have tips that resonate. For me, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober was really good.
• find community: join Facebook groups focused on quitting alcohol (The Sober Cafe is great) and post for accountability
• work hard in understanding what you triggers are and how to avoid them: if it’s passing a particular ship on the way home, or going to Tesco to do the big shop on a Friday evening and so ending up buying alcohol there, figure out and come up with alternative routes/behaviours such as home delivery that you book earlier in the week
• don’t think about it ‘“losing alcohol from your life’ but look on it as an opportunity to experiment in finding new non-alcoholic drinks that you live. I made a ritual of trying new drinks every weekend and building up a list of ones I liked.
• There is no shame in using alcohol free replacements if you need the ritual of ‘having a drink to relax’. I started off buying Alcohol Free red and white wine, and using those but now I’ve grown out of the need to have them
• get an app (I Am Sober is a good one) to track your sobriety.

I hope this helps

It feels different this time.

Like I really want to change and have admitted I've always had a problem with drink. But because I've been very high functioning I could get away with it.

But I'm sitting here on day three of huge tummy bloat and sluggishness after a particularly bingey Friday and Saturday. I haven't drank since Saturday and I still feel crap. I don't even want to exercise which isn't like me.

I'm not getting away with it anymore. My weight has crept up and I'm struggling to lose it because despite eating well I'm piling in 100s and 100s of booze calories every weekend. It affects my mood. I'm at an age where the health risks of binge drinking are real.

I'm too old and responsible to be the party girl at a night out and I've had too many shame moments.

Well done for recognising it. That's an important step.

Next step is to surround yourself with a network who have got your back and will support your efforts - whether that's friends or a support group such as AA.

Wishing you strength in the days and weeks ahead.

Try clearmindshypnotherapy.com/collections/hypnotherapy-audio-online-store/products/takecontrol I use it and it really helps. I now can record the bottle if I have a glass. Most often I fancy a soft drink now rather than wine!

Recork not record!

I can easily get into the habit of a bottle of wine a night, more often just at weekends & usually a glass other evenings.

Never want the party to end, alcohol has been the main feature of weekends since being a teen & I have been depressed the last 6 months odd. Currently the biggest I've ever been & can't find the willpower to address it. I am reading the unexpected joy of being sober, (some parts resonated & others make me think 'well that's not me, I'm not that bad!) & am also doing sober September until next Tuesday when I have wine club.

I'm not feeling majorly better for not drinking & still just looking forward to having a glass of wine. I know it sounds bad that it's mostly what I'm looking forward to.

Will have a look at some of these apps,