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Do you pay for only what you eat when you go out with friends?

115 replies

heartbroken22 · 18/09/2022 19:47

Sorry to the other poster who is asking but I'm glad they bought it up. Does anyone have any stories where friends have been a bit shocked because they had to pay for what they ordered? I have! Luckily a friend of mine spoke up and said how about we pay for what we've ordered (she mentioned how I at the time just had water with my meal whereas everybody else had a drink). I was quite depressed at that moment in my life and would just go out and pay together. Some of the other friends in the group would take advantage and order the most expensive meal and drinks. I think they found it hard to swallow their next bite when told they'd be having to pay for what they had.

OP posts:
A580Hojas · 18/09/2022 19:49

No. Split the bill although anyone not drinking when others are drinking - give them their due concession. When I go out I usually only want 2 courses, some people have 3. I'm really not going to split hairs over that.

XenoBitch · 18/09/2022 19:50

I always only pay for what I have ordered. I don't understand the whole mentality around splitting the bill equally. Maybe if it was in a restaurant that was doing a deal (3 courses for £xyz sort of thing) that everyone was doing.

Too many times, CF have taken advantage. I have heard "sorry, I forgot my purse" when it has come to pay too many times.

Purplecatshopaholic · 18/09/2022 19:53

No. We just split the bill generally. I don’t have friends who take advantage - they wouldn’t be friends if they did!

Haus1234 · 18/09/2022 19:54

Generally we just split the bill as it’s less effort than working it out. Like a PP, if I felt they were taking advantage of me I wouldn’t be friends with them.

Hotandbothereds · 18/09/2022 19:57

If someone isn’t drinking they’d pay less but typically we’ll split the bill.

But - I’d have no issue whatsoever if someone said they only wanted to pay for what they had.

tonightelmowillrise · 18/09/2022 19:58

Split the bill. Obv understanding of people who can’t for financial reasons, not so understanding of right people who refuse to split it just for the sake of watching every penny like a hawk

Hbh17 · 18/09/2022 19:59

Or just take it in turns to pay each time - so alternate it, if going out with just one friend. It ruins a meal if everyone has to sit around & work out who owes what at the end. The less discussion there is about money, the better.

SpinningFloppa · 18/09/2022 20:01

I’ve never been out with any friends and split the bill it’s always just been a thing in our friendship group that you pay for what you eat. It’s never been discussed it’s just been the done thing.

wendywoopywoo222 · 18/09/2022 20:01

Always split the bill when out with friends. We have one lady who comes out with us sometimes who always likes to pay for her own as she is often short of money and chooses to eat a cheap meal.

I think sometimes I pay more than I would and sometimes I pay less. Fortunately my freind all feel the same and we're happy for someone to have a free meal if they have hard times and we leave them out the split.

RagzRebooted · 18/09/2022 20:01

We pay for what we ordered. Because everyone is on different budgets and orders accordingly, plus not everyone is drinking. It's just more fair to pay for what you have. Then all chip in for the tip

Precipice · 18/09/2022 20:01

Yes, for me it's the norm to pay for your own food and your own drinks. Even when there's only a small difference, I don't see why someone should be paying more than the cost of theirs to make it 'equal shares'.

HerRoyalNotness · 18/09/2022 20:02

It’s easy where I am as the server automatically brings separate bills

in another life I used to go out with work friends and we’d split it and somehow it was always short! I was the lowest earner and as everyone just sat there is put in the difference. It went on too often so ruined it and we stopped our regular meals out.

Hugasauras · 18/09/2022 20:03

Usually split the bill but allowances made for non-drinkers or people who only had one course or something. I usually have to fight to pay my actual share when not drinking!

VenusClapTrap · 18/09/2022 20:04

If I’m with friends who have the same sort of disposable income, then we split the bill equally. It’s just easier. If there’s someone there who is hard up and they’ve deliberately chosen the cheaper options or skipped the starter or something, then they pay separately.

Hugasauras · 18/09/2022 20:04

And last time I just paid the whole sum by card and then did split the bill on Monzo and everyone bank transferred their share. Was a lot easier now people don't tend to carry cash!

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 18/09/2022 20:05

No, except for the people who are not drinking.

FrankTheThunderbird · 18/09/2022 20:08

I think it depends. If you've all had similar meals/ drinks then splitting equally seems easiest. I used to go out with one friend who always refused to split equally. She usually 'saved' about 50p compared to what the rest of the group paid. (We all had similar income/outgoings)

Having said that I recently had a day out with family. They decided it was easiest to split all costs at the end. This included all the hot drinks I didn't have because I knew I couldn't afford them. And the cakes/croissants they had at the coffee shops which I also didn't have.
I'm on a far lower income than any of them, so the extras do make a difference. But of course I'm just being 'difficult' when I raise it. <sigh>

hattie43 · 18/09/2022 20:08

No we always eat / drink what we want and split the bill . We are all pretty affluent so none of us need to only pay for what we eat

Frances0911 · 18/09/2022 20:08

I went on holiday with a friend and when we arrived she asked to start a kitty of 100 euros each for when we ate out. For two days she happily stuffed her face with steak and lobster, and gulped copious bottles of expensive wine, basically drinking three glasses to my one! On the third day when the money ran out she wanted to put in another 100 euros each. Realising I was being taken for a mug I politely refused, saying that I just wanted to pay for my own meals when we ate out. She then stopped ordering the most expensive food and wine, and started eating quite frugally!

OrangePumpkinLobelia · 18/09/2022 20:09

I have a few friends who did not drink wheras i like a glass of wine.

So I usually ask for the alcohol bill to come to me and then we split the rest. I tend to align my food with what others are eating, so if they are having pizza I will have a pizza at the same cost. If I have had something slightly mroe expensive then I will not have coffee or a pudding. This is because I have a morbid fear of being seen as cheap or a taker so I do mentally add things up so it is roughly equal and I always pay for my own alcohol.

I have/had a friend who used to get her calulator out to divide up slices of garlic bread for example, and who would order a starter but pick off everyone elses plates. So I am hyper aware of people not thinking I am taking the piss by ordering wine and expecting others to subsidise it.

DamnUserName21 · 18/09/2022 20:11

Varies. If we eat similar priced items and drink the same amount of alco then split. If big differences in what each had, pay own way. None of my friends would have an issue with either way, tbh.

TayJay94 · 18/09/2022 20:14

I usually split the bill. If someone's struggling for money enough that they can't do that, the rest of us would either cover the cost for them or let them pay and the rest of us split the rest.


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Holidaydreamingagain · 18/09/2022 20:15

Always split equally, sometimes we have a separate drinks bill and split that between drinkers but never ever pay for what we eat. We have one friend who only wants to pay for what he eats and it ends up us all paying more ad he has a tendency to leave early and pay a certain amount which is always too little. Therefore some friends just won’t go out with him anymore

drpet49 · 18/09/2022 20:16

Precipice · 18/09/2022 20:01

Yes, for me it's the norm to pay for your own food and your own drinks. Even when there's only a small difference, I don't see why someone should be paying more than the cost of theirs to make it 'equal shares'.

Same in my friendship groups.

Crankley · 18/09/2022 20:21

I always split the bill. To me it ruins the occasion to be nitpicking over individual items on a bill unless the difference is large. My friends and I always used to eat/drink similarly.

I had an ex friend who refused to split a cafe bill because mine cost 24p more than hers, Note the ex.

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