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Original poster

Do you pay for only what you eat when you go out with friends?

115 replies

heartbroken22 · 18/09/2022 19:47

Sorry to the other poster who is asking but I'm glad they bought it up. Does anyone have any stories where friends have been a bit shocked because they had to pay for what they ordered? I have! Luckily a friend of mine spoke up and said how about we pay for what we've ordered (she mentioned how I at the time just had water with my meal whereas everybody else had a drink). I was quite depressed at that moment in my life and would just go out and pay together. Some of the other friends in the group would take advantage and order the most expensive meal and drinks. I think they found it hard to swallow their next bite when told they'd be having to pay for what they had.

OP posts:
Kangaruby · 18/09/2022 20:22

Just split it between us however would not have a problem if someone wanted to pay just for what they had. Tend to eat out with people who like a few glasses of wine. Order different cost of wines depending on which friends I am with - would stick to cheaper ones with some but have more mid range with others

NuffSaidSam · 18/09/2022 20:25

We generally pay for what we've had, but the restaurant split the bill so you don't have to get involved in the maths, just ask to pay individually.

xsquared · 18/09/2022 20:28

We always pay for what we order. Lots of different dietary requirements, some not drinking alcohol and some only having a main and coffee. It wouldn't be fair otherwise.
Nobody uas ever insisted we split the bill at any occasion.

16HamstersCalledThemAllDave · 18/09/2022 20:30

Always split the bill with friends - would be weird not to. With work outings, bill is worked out according to who had what.

Trisolaris · 18/09/2022 20:33

Split it if roughly the same. Usually whoever had the most expensive food/drink offers to pay a bit more and the other person says don’t worry.

whatsup00 · 18/09/2022 20:34

Honestly... I prefer to pay for my own because there's sometimes massive differences and the amounts can be equal to a week's food shop.

E.g. have been out with people for a birthday - one couple ordered starters, main, desert and several cocktails each. I had one drink and a main (which was a cheaper main). As much as I'd love to say just split it... when times are hard I have run out of money for food in the last week of the month. Paying out £50 for food I didn't eat would move that even earlier and could affect things badly. Obviously I don't get into that with people but I much prefer just paying for what I eat as then I can tailor it to what my situation is.

If I go out and there's two of us and we eat similar we just split it. If it's just a few pounds difference I wouldn't bother over that but it's when it's more and it has more of an impact that I would rather not.

whatsup00 · 18/09/2022 20:35
  • dessert even, they were not eating sand.
FredrikaPeri · 18/09/2022 20:35

I'd split the bill but remove the alcohol for anyone not drinking.

generalh · 18/09/2022 20:36

Mostly.

Rainbowqueeen · 18/09/2022 20:36

Yes that’s the norm for me.

Only exception is when I go out with 2 particular friends as we always share a bottle of wine and eat the same number of courses

ginslinger · 18/09/2022 20:38

generally speaking we're bill splitters

Dragonskin · 18/09/2022 20:40

Nope, we split the bill (but we make sure that alcohol is only split between the drinkers)

Riverlee · 18/09/2022 20:43

Been out for two meals recently.

On the first one, dh and I had desserts, other couple didn’t didn’t, so we deducted the desserts of the bill, and split the rest.

Second meal, all had three courses and drinks, and split evenly.

Fortunately, don’t have cf friends who would order the most expensive, or if they do, would pay a little more. Ie. If bill came to £85, everyone pays £20, and the person would pay extra £5.

Paigeycakey · 18/09/2022 20:43

Purplecatshopaholic · 18/09/2022 19:53

No. We just split the bill generally. I don’t have friends who take advantage - they wouldn’t be friends if they did!

This is the issue 👏👏👏👏👏

OnTheBoardwalk · 18/09/2022 20:44

It really does depend on who you are with and why, there’s no definitive answer

there have been times when I’ve been skint and stated I’m paying my own, times 5 friends have had a starter and I haven’t and times I’ve ordered steak when other people were on pasta

when I’ve ordered steak I always offer to pay my own or put an extra £20 in. Never been taken up on the offer but am happy to do it

I’m usually a bill splitter unless I’m with my mother and we argue who's paying for food. I usually win to pay then find cash 'hidden' in my car once I’ve dropped her off

Lucy Long Socks · 18/09/2022 20:46

I used to split the bill. But I don't drink (only water) and some people take the mick. I've had people order champagne. Several bottles of wine. So I changed my mind. I was always thoughtful if I went out and wouldn't buy expensive drinks and stacks of food. But seems I'm a rarity. So no. I pay for my own things now.

Kezzie200 · 18/09/2022 20:53

We are being taken out and been asked for pre orders. I've skipped to one course only as I really fancy the steak at x 2 the other mains. And I'll have iced water to drink (I'm driving anyway, but it seems fairer to the person paying).

katepilar · 18/09/2022 20:53

Never understood this system of splitting a bill instead of paying for what you had. But I come from a different culture and used to everyone paying for themselves. The waiter asks whether people are paying together or separately and then quickly calculates how much it is for each. Tips are also given separately by each person.

mathanxiety · 18/09/2022 20:57

I always go Dutch. It's not fair to have to subsidize people ordering huge meals and quaffing multiple glasses of plonk.

mathanxiety · 18/09/2022 20:58

You dont have to pick over the bill if you ask for separate bills from the start.

PretzelLady · 18/09/2022 20:59

Usually we split the bill, but we also tend to order similar things. If one person was on tap water and one course while everyone else had the works with wine and cocktails though, I'd definitely insist that person not pay for other people's meals.

I cannot imagine ever thinking my friends would deliberately choose a more expensive meal because the bill was being split and they thought they'd get their money's worth. Those aren't friends!

Kite22 · 18/09/2022 21:03

This is asked very regularly on MN.

It depends very much on the circumstances / situation.
Who you are out with, what they are like, what your relationship is with them, what your money situation is, and what their situation is, etc etc

If you have just had a main meal and water, or one drink (which is what the original thread was about) then it doesn't involve any "nit-picking over the bill" - you just know what yours cost and put in enough to cover it.

FusionChefGeoff · 18/09/2022 21:05

We split with good friends - pay for what you eat with school Mums / new friends. There's a group who've been friends for 25 years and hopefully another 25 so I'm sure the odd starter / glass of wine will even itself out over 5 decades Grin

RewildingAmbridge · 18/09/2022 21:06

With most friends we split evenly, everyone has roughly the same kind of meal and no one takes the piss.
My brother (and to some extent SIL) on the other hand will order the most expensive thing on the menu simply because it's the most expensive, 3 courses, multiple sides, expensive drinks, even if everyone else is having a main course and soft drinks, he then wonders why we don't want to split the bill evenly

youarntaguest · 18/09/2022 21:06

No we split