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Original poster

Do you pay for only what you eat when you go out with friends?

115 replies

heartbroken22 · 18/09/2022 19:47

Sorry to the other poster who is asking but I'm glad they bought it up. Does anyone have any stories where friends have been a bit shocked because they had to pay for what they ordered? I have! Luckily a friend of mine spoke up and said how about we pay for what we've ordered (she mentioned how I at the time just had water with my meal whereas everybody else had a drink). I was quite depressed at that moment in my life and would just go out and pay together. Some of the other friends in the group would take advantage and order the most expensive meal and drinks. I think they found it hard to swallow their next bite when told they'd be having to pay for what they had.

OP posts:
catfunk · 18/09/2022 21:09

I don't split hairs over the cost of food, but I often don't drink so I just pay for food in that case rather than paying more than double what I've consumed.

Tisfortired · 18/09/2022 21:09

If we’ve all had similar things eg, a starter and a main and a drink or two each, we just split the bill evenly, I’m not splitting hairs over whose starter was more expensive or who had 2 glasses of wine. But if anybody in the group is eg not drinking, or had 1 course when others had 3 we will split individually (usually one person will pay so it’s easier for the server and we all send the one friend the money.)

Maybe I’m lucky me and my friends are on the same page about this!

FrippEnos · 18/09/2022 21:10

We used to split the bill equally as it just didn't bother us.

Then when I was out with one couple they decided to pay for their own, but hadn't realised that I was paying every other meal instead of three meals so it bit them on the arse.

With other friends we still split equally.

At work we used to split equally but due to some taking the piss we now pay for what we have.

quietlycontent · 18/09/2022 21:10

So if you could scan a QR code and split the bill by item on your phones would you do that (no app just pick and pay for your items) and add a tip each?

I work for a restaurant group and have a supplier who thinks this is a great idea. We are going to trial it but interested in your opinions

greenhousegal · 18/09/2022 21:12

I'm rich and generous and always get the bill and pay for everything.

WibbleBibble · 18/09/2022 21:15

We always pay for our own meals, its no big deal

WoooahNelly · 18/09/2022 21:16

I would rather split the bill so that a) I can go out and still socialise and not worry about costs as they are within my control and b) my friends who have more money can order what they want without feeling bad about it or not ordering what they want because they don't want me to have to subsidise theirs.

VivienneDelacroix · 18/09/2022 21:18

Always split the bill, because if I'm out for dinner with you then you are a very good friend and 1. You wouldn't be a piss taker and 2. I don't begrudge paying a bit more for my friends.
I drink maybe one glass of wine with a meal at the most, my friends more like a bottle each over the course of a meal - but it's my choice not to drink, so I still split the bill. Every so often one of us will pay the whole bill for everyone, and sometimes one of us will pay extra if, for example, we've had something far more expensive or have been in the mood for several cocktails, or we decide to treat everyone to a bottle of champagne. But we always all automatically go to split the bill.

BigFatLiar · 18/09/2022 21:18

Depends who we're with. We have a group of friends we've known for ages and eat with regularly and we just split the bill no one takes the mock and over time it probably evens out. On the other hand there is a couple who joins us occasionally where she eats the expensive choices and drinks expensive wine and com bill time her partner seems to think she doesn't count, so if their are eight of us he'll want the bill split by seven. It didn't go down well and now of they're with us we do seperate bills.

Livinginanotherworld · 18/09/2022 21:20

Always just split the bill. People saying that some don’t drink…..those same people often have a dessert and coffee whilst others finish the wine. Swings and roundabouts.

Lunabun · 18/09/2022 21:22

9 times out of 10 we will split the bill. I'm not going to faff around with a calculator for the sake of a few quid.

However if I know that my meal was significantly more expensive than other people's (e.g. if I drank alcohol and other people didn't, or if I had dessert and someone else didn't), then I will suggest we pay for what we eat or just roughly account for differences when we split. My friends would always offer the same courtesy too if they had a particularly expensive meal.

Lunabun · 18/09/2022 21:26

greenhousegal · 18/09/2022 21:12

I'm rich and generous and always get the bill and pay for everything.

Will you be my friend please? Grin

WibbleBibble · 18/09/2022 21:29

Lunabun · 18/09/2022 21:22

9 times out of 10 we will split the bill. I'm not going to faff around with a calculator for the sake of a few quid.

However if I know that my meal was significantly more expensive than other people's (e.g. if I drank alcohol and other people didn't, or if I had dessert and someone else didn't), then I will suggest we pay for what we eat or just roughly account for differences when we split. My friends would always offer the same courtesy too if they had a particularly expensive meal.

You dont need to faff around with a calculator, you ask for the bill to be separated for you. Its seriously not a big deal - cant stand all this pearl clutching about only paying for what you actually order

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 18/09/2022 21:30

I've never been out and split the bill. We always pay for what we order. We just ask for separate checks before we order (in America, not sure if that makes a difference or not).

sistersisterIDonotmissyou · 18/09/2022 21:31

We were out for dinner this weekend,(Dh&I) and there were two women at the table opposite.
When their bill arrived one of them picked it up, got out her phone and went through it item by item to see how much they should each pay. It took them 15 minutes to agree who drank most of the wine😏 it looked utterly ridiculous. When I go out for dinner with my best friend we take it in turns to pay. Never a word about it, we always knows who's turn it is and we just pay when it's our turn.

PinkHeadphones · 18/09/2022 21:33

Always split the bill, there is usually only a few pounds difference one way or another.

ILoveYoga · 18/09/2022 21:34

Generally , we split the bill BUT I have had it where someone really took the piss, ordering expensive wine, drank port after dinner etc. really upset me. If I see that happening now, I’d ask for separate bills. I have had friends on strict budgets and asked for separate bill, which I was very happy to do but others in the group were quite bitchy about it.

BettyBootsie · 18/09/2022 21:40

Just depends really - happy to split if it's only a difference of about a fiver, but I rarely drink and once had a meal with three big drinkers. They had three bottles of wine between them (at lunch!) while I had tap water - food was maybe evens. When the bill came, I was told my share was three times the price of what I actually had - felt very outnumbered but that was the last time I let it happen. There is very often a cf element to those who insist on splitting.

Northernsoullover · 18/09/2022 21:42

I don't drink. So I'm not going to pay 20 quid more than I need to. Twenty pounds is a lot to me.

LosttheremoteAGAIN · 18/09/2022 21:50

If I’m out with friends we all pay our own
if I’m out with dp,we split it and we agree it all comes out in the wash
if I’m out with the kids,we take it in turns to buy the drinks-but pay for our own food

Lovetogarden2022 · 18/09/2022 21:54

I always split the bill with friends, but those who've been drinking will leave the tip, or usually those who've had a drink or two won't have a pudding so it works out fairly evenly anyway

AssignedSlytherinAtBirth · 18/09/2022 21:55

I was very surprised when going out with a group of wealthy women that they didn't split the bill - they go up separately and say what they've had and pay for themselves. With my normal group of friends, we split the bill, but I don't drink and one of us will have half a bottle, but I've been called tight for not wanting to split. But in future I will insist in advance.

blueswans · 18/09/2022 21:58

No, split the bill always!
it does my head in when people get the calculators out and start adding up what they have had! It’s mortifying, I don’t go out with a group of colleagues who insist on doing this anymore!

FredaFox · 18/09/2022 22:00

Always split the bill, I don't know anyone who doesn't but if anybody isn't drinking allowances are always made
Also drink in rounds with different groups of friends, we always offer drinks when we go the bar if we have bumped into someone we know
Have done a kitty at festivals before, never had an issue but take it in turns who holds the kitty and kitty holder gets the drinks in

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 18/09/2022 22:01

I'm always fascinated by these threads. Why do the people who drink a lot and have more courses/more expensive food expect their companions to subsidise them? Are you always confident your more abstemious friends are happy and able to do this? On every thread like this I've ever read on MN there's been at least one person who mentions a time when they were very hard up and it was a real blow to find they were expected to pay for other people's food and drink when they had carefully calculated what they could afford. I just can't imagine putting a friend or colleague in that position.

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