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What does child maintenance include?

83 replies

onlyconnect · 18/09/2022 18:00

My husband and I are separating amicably. We want to agree the maintenance figure between us. Ex has asked for a list of what the costs of bringing up the children actually are. Things like food, clubs, clothes are easy but what else?
Should there be a contribution towards housing. For example? I am buying in area that is quite expensive to be near our daughter's school, is that part of the cost?
I have looked what it says on the government website but ex is keen to see the actual costs. What I have on my list per month so far comes to what the government recommends as a weekly amount so I think I must be missing something.

OP posts:
Banana2079 · 18/09/2022 18:05

he can do the child maintenance calculator with you present Which is available on the child maintenance website and that will give you the minimum amount he should give you - anything above that is between you and him
If your child Lives with his dad more than two days a week child maintenance is reduced
The best way to go about it Is to use the child maintenance figure as a starting point and then decide between yourselves What figure suits you both based on his affordability

JuneOsborne · 18/09/2022 18:05

How does he not know this himself?

Banana2079 · 18/09/2022 18:07

great to hear the split is amicable too , that’s the best way

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Tiani4 · 18/09/2022 18:07

Child maintenance doesn't officially look at your income it just looks at the NRP income and calculates a %

Good NRP pay more than child maintenance which is a minimum as they know it pays for very little

It certainly won't cover your child related expenses and housing it only looks at a tiny % of NRP wages

Tiani4 · 18/09/2022 18:08

So if it's amicable, get out your excel sheet work out your costs and share those equally

megletthesecond · 18/09/2022 18:10

It goes towards everything. Mortgage, water, energy, petrol, kids clothes, food, activities etc.
He needs to pay the correct % of his income. He can't dictate how it's spent.

SpinningFloppa · 18/09/2022 18:11

It’s suppose to cover everything

Banana2079 · 18/09/2022 18:12

You need to apply for financial consent order. even if you buy a house after the divorce he will be legally entitled to part of it or even half if u sell on…divorce signifies the end of a relationship but it does not signify the end of your financial commitment to each other. It’s only £54 and will save you a lot of drama later on if things aren’t as amicable

StopStartStop · 18/09/2022 18:12

You need to be very careful not to short-change yourself.

Cazs818 · 18/09/2022 18:13

Any day to day costs relating to the child , uniforms , normal clothes , after school clubs etc , school trips , extra tuition, childcare , transport etc

I personally wouldn’t include rent/ mortgage etc as theses would Be present anyway be it sightly lower , it would also depend on how the child resides is it 50/50 ? If so then I personally wouldn’t ask for any maintenance and the other party would have day to day outgoings for said child

JustFrustrated · 18/09/2022 18:14

SpinningFloppa · 18/09/2022 18:11

It’s suppose to cover everything

Half of everything.

The resident parent has to contribute too....

HerRoyalNotness · 18/09/2022 18:15

When I did this exercise to make sure payment to his xW was fair I didn’t include housing or holidays as they are costs that can be as high or low as the parent chooses.

i did include
clothing
school uniform
school trips
food
utility bills
days out
activities (music, dance etc)
id also ask for contrib to childcare (not applicable in our case) as that is a huge expense and should be split IMO

Singleandproud · 18/09/2022 18:18

Don't forget those occasional expenses so half for uniforms and school trips etc if he is being amicable.

I preferred going through the CMS as it put a middle 'man' between us and made the money side of things less personal. If you don't go through them do use the calculator to make sure you get at least the minimum they suggest, don't short change your children.

Violashift · 18/09/2022 18:19

The old CSA calculation used to be 15 percent of salary for one child. 20 percent for two. 25 for over two children.

onlyconnect · 18/09/2022 18:28

I can see the recommend amounts online. It's not that he's after. It's a list of what he's paying for.
Thank you for the answers , that does help.
He's a high earner but the actual costs are much lower than what it's suggested that I could ask for.

OP posts:
Putdownthecake · 18/09/2022 18:31

Imo id add up all house costs. For example if food is 50 a week for you but 70 a week with child then he pays £10If electric is 60 just you but 100 with child then he pays 20 etc.School uniform 50/50I often see on here about 50% of housing costs but realistically if a 1 bed is costing 500 and a 2 bed 750 then he should be responsible for 50% the additional cost his child brings so 125 towards it.Clubs 50%clothes he buys his own or 50% etc thats how id do it if the situation arose but i guess that depends on everyone being fair and decent. So many nrp say they'll pay and then don't. Realistically you could just go to cms. Even if it's higher than the actual costs you have currently, you could save it for your child for when the expensive school trips start etc or just give them the better quality of life/more treats that they may have had if their family was together

treesandweeds · 18/09/2022 18:32

Doesn't he know? Is he the parent? He's trying to be awkward. Remember the kids house and lifestyle should be equal if both homes if he is a high earner, so his amount needs to ensure you can afford the things and lifestyle the children have now. Don't forget holidays, takeaways, treats as we love as heating, lighting, own room, clothes, birthday presents

Beezknees · 18/09/2022 18:32

HerRoyalNotness · 18/09/2022 18:15

When I did this exercise to make sure payment to his xW was fair I didn’t include housing or holidays as they are costs that can be as high or low as the parent chooses.

i did include
clothing
school uniform
school trips
food
utility bills
days out
activities (music, dance etc)
id also ask for contrib to childcare (not applicable in our case) as that is a huge expense and should be split IMO

Not true. Housing costs are more if there's a child involved. If I didn't have a child I'd live in a small one bedroom flat or bedsit, as it is I need 2 bedrooms which costs more. I think maintenance should reflect that to a certain degree.

youarntaguest · 18/09/2022 18:44

It's a percentage of his income it is paid to you do do what you want with. He does t get to decide what you pay with it

youarntaguest · 18/09/2022 18:45

Ask the child support agency to handle it if you arnt sure how much you should get

Welliesintherain · 18/09/2022 18:47

Doesn’t sound amicable if he’s quibbling costs tbh
just go through cms much easier for everyone

Welliesintherain · 18/09/2022 18:48

Or send him a list

  1. your
  2. childs
  3. costs
Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 18/09/2022 18:48

Don't forget things like doctors appointments, dentist, travel expenses for school run, birthday gifts for parties, half the cost of their birthdya party and Christmas presents, hair cuts, uniforms for extra curricular activities, childcare (I'd look this up even if you don't need it just so you and he are aware of how much it will cost if you work full time) toiletries, percentage of utilities.

thats assuming he's looking for an exhaustive list of what it's costs to raise a child so that he can contribute fairly.

if he's looking for a list justifying 15% Id tell him to work it out himself, arsehole.

Fizzgigg · 18/09/2022 18:49

onlyconnect · 18/09/2022 18:28

I can see the recommend amounts online. It's not that he's after. It's a list of what he's paying for.
Thank you for the answers , that does help.
He's a high earner but the actual costs are much lower than what it's suggested that I could ask for.

Be really careful of this trap no matter how amicable it seems he's being. If he has to pay you X by CMS calculations but you've agreed it costs Y then you'll get grief every time you dare to go out or get a haircut or a new coat. He pays what he has to pay and doesn't get to approve how you spend it. It goes into your household money to pay expenses like mortgage and petrol and bill as well as what the children individually need.

ArcticSkewer · 18/09/2022 18:51

agree with others, this isn't actually very amicable.
It's controlling