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Original poster

Is anyone up? Feeling scared.

51 replies

Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 03:00

Hello, first time poster but long time reader. My father had a stroke today and I’m
terrified. I have no idea long term if he’ll be okay, it’s a bit of a waiting game at this point. It’s just my mum and I, no other family support and I don’t know how I’m going to cope. I’m sat here wide awake, puffy eyes, no more tears left, feeling more anxious and scared than I ever have before. Sorry for rambling, I have no one to talk to right now…

OP posts:
amidoingitallwrongagain · 18/09/2022 03:05

Sending positive thoughts. Fingers crossed it is mild. My uncle had a stroke 5 years ago and is absolutely fine now so there are positive stories. Must be really difficult waiting Flowers

user1477249785 · 18/09/2022 03:05

Oh OP I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't have much useful to say. My DH had a stroke a few years back and I absolutely get how stressful it all feels right now. Try not to think the worst. DH is now mostly fine with only minor changes from how he was before. Sending best wishes.

Phoenixrising2020 · 18/09/2022 03:05

Hi Calm, that sounds really dreadful. Are you awake by yourself? You must be so frightened, it's truly awful when parents are ill. They are lucky to have you. I know you must be devastated but you are doing all that you can do. Hope you manage to get some rest.

australia200 · 18/09/2022 03:07

I am here too for a handhold. Do you think you can get some sleep? You must be exhausted X

Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 03:13

Unfortunately I'm not sure how mild it is. It happened in the early hours of the night and the window for immediate treatment was missed. He's lost almost all movement on his left side (although he can move his left foot now a little which I'm clinging on to as a good sign) and he can't talk or swallow. He's fully aware though. I'm just so scared, he's the absolute pillar of our family. The best dad you could ask for and I don't know how I'm going to manage to look after both of them now. I'm supposed to start a new job soon too. How will I cope! 😞

OP posts:
Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 03:18

australia200 · 18/09/2022 03:07

I am here too for a handhold. Do you think you can get some sleep? You must be exhausted X

I think I've managed an hour or so of sleep. I'm just a ball of anxiety right now. I can't stop thinking of him all alone up there, he must be terrified. I just wish I could scoop him up and make him better.

OP posts:
Chloefairydust · 18/09/2022 03:23

Try not to immediately think the worst. A family friend had a stroke a couple of years ago, he was only 40. He lost use of half of his body, but had lots of physio and lives pretty much normally now. I think he’s left with some weakness in one of his hands but is now well enough to work and he’s doing well in general.

Hope your dad is feeling better soon 💐

Helgadaley · 18/09/2022 03:23

Just another person thinking of you and sending hugs. I hope you're sleeping now.

Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 03:27

Chloefairydust · 18/09/2022 03:23

Try not to immediately think the worst. A family friend had a stroke a couple of years ago, he was only 40. He lost use of half of his body, but had lots of physio and lives pretty much normally now. I think he’s left with some weakness in one of his hands but is now well enough to work and he’s doing well in general.

Hope your dad is feeling better soon 💐

Thank you. I just pray that perhaps he might be able to walk, even with an aide and regain some of his speech.

OP posts:
australia200 · 18/09/2022 03:29

Oh Calm1234 I know how our minds always go to the worst places. Hopefully there will be better news tomorrow/today. Hoping your Dad manages some sleep, your Mum too. It must be so hard for you having to be strong for the three of you. My Mum always says 'one day at a time' when things are hard. Deep breaths. My prayers are with you X

Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 03:29

Helgadaley · 18/09/2022 03:23

Just another person thinking of you and sending hugs. I hope you're sleeping now.

Thank you, hopefully soon I'll relax enough to sleep

OP posts:
DarceyG · 18/09/2022 03:33

Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 03:29

Thank you, hopefully soon I'll relax enough to sleep

Show quote history

I know someone who had quite a bad stroke, he can still walk. He has bit of a slurred speech but still able to do most things. It took about a year to recover to this point but his life is pretty normal. Try no to go to the worst case scenario. Hope you less a anxious soon.

Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 03:35

australia200 · 18/09/2022 03:29

Oh Calm1234 I know how our minds always go to the worst places. Hopefully there will be better news tomorrow/today. Hoping your Dad manages some sleep, your Mum too. It must be so hard for you having to be strong for the three of you. My Mum always says 'one day at a time' when things are hard. Deep breaths. My prayers are with you X

Thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot. I think I'm just catastrophising right now. I pray he'll improve and my mum will find the strength to cope, she's been great so far.

OP posts:
Cakeandcoffee93 · 18/09/2022 03:36

Sending love. We have a lot of research now on strokes and he’s in the best place possible! Try to focus on him getting better-
getring feeling back. He will need positive energy op. It is scary but he can do this!

Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 03:39

I'm not sure how to reply properly but thank you DarceyG, it really helps to hear positive stories

OP posts:
Pebblebeach15 · 18/09/2022 03:39

I am holding your hand x

Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 03:40

Cakeandcoffee93 · 18/09/2022 03:36

Sending love. We have a lot of research now on strokes and he’s in the best place possible! Try to focus on him getting better-
getring feeling back. He will need positive energy op. It is scary but he can do this!

Thank you, I truly hope so 🙏

OP posts:
DarceyG · 18/09/2022 03:42

Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 03:39

I'm not sure how to reply properly but thank you DarceyG, it really helps to hear positive stories

No problem lovely, I can imagine you will be in a state right now but the person that I know got excellent treatment and aftercare.

Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 03:43

Pebblebeach15 · 18/09/2022 03:39

I am holding your hand x

Thank you

OP posts:
Amarette · 18/09/2022 03:44

I know a man who had two strokes in their 40s. Now in his 80s and still going strong. He just had problems finding words sometimes and his speech was a bit slow.

Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 03:56

Amarette · 18/09/2022 03:44

I know a man who had two strokes in their 40s. Now in his 80s and still going strong. He just had problems finding words sometimes and his speech was a bit slow.

Thank you for this positive story

OP posts:
Longdistance · 18/09/2022 04:03

Here to handhold you @Calm1234

I hope you get some sleep or rest, it is quite worrying. I have been there with my df. This happened to him 20 odd years ago. He had a stroke where his right side was affected and his speech was almost non existent. He had lots of rehabilitation and he bounced back pretty good, walking and talking. He kept his driving licence and continued to drive for some time
Take care of yourself 💐

Delphinium20 · 18/09/2022 04:08

Sending a hug. It's scary to see your parent suffering and not knowing the outcome. Strokes vary widely in severity and outcome, so please don't think all is lost. I'm glad your mother is with you. You must be a comfort to each other.

Fadeout83 · 18/09/2022 04:13

Oh lovely I’m so sorry to hear this. My dad had a stroke a year and a half ago. The clot was removed and he was ok but he had a big bleed a few days later and sadly passed away.

All that to say that your dad is in the best place he can be right now. If I can give some advice, just don’t rush things TOO much. Everyone was in a rush to get my dad rehabilitating immediately as that’s when best outcomes happen but we think the pressure and the frustrations of not being able to do some things caused immense blood pressure spikes that ultimately led to the haemorrhage. It’s important to rehab quickly but just ensure he’s being carefully monitored and if he’s starting to get frustrated at all, it’s worth backing off a bit.

Stroke is truly horrible. Do you know if he had any risk factor? Atrial fibrillation? High blood pressure?

TheLadyofShalott1 · 18/09/2022 04:15

I am sitting here trying to send you positive energies dear Calm. As others have said, they can do so much these days for people who have had strokes, and from what you have told us so far, both your Dear Mum and your Dear Dad are very strong and lovely people. You have definitely inherited the lovely gene, so there is every reason to believe that you have inherited the 'being strong' gene too.

So please try to take each day as it comes, and you and your DMum can be there for each other, and both of you for your DDad - who is probably fast asleep now and having lovely dreams ❤️ If you don't mind having prayers said, then I will say them for all three of you. xx