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Original poster

Is anyone up? Feeling scared.

51 replies

Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 03:00

Hello, first time poster but long time reader. My father had a stroke today and I’m
terrified. I have no idea long term if he’ll be okay, it’s a bit of a waiting game at this point. It’s just my mum and I, no other family support and I don’t know how I’m going to cope. I’m sat here wide awake, puffy eyes, no more tears left, feeling more anxious and scared than I ever have before. Sorry for rambling, I have no one to talk to right now…

OP posts:
Twinsmummy1812 · 18/09/2022 04:17

Worry and sadness are indeed the price we pay for love and your family are so lucky you all love each other so much. As pp have said, one day at a time. Advocate for your father as much as you can, it will make you feel better and you and your mum know him best.

I hope he recovers really well and this is soon a distant bad memory x

Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 04:20

Longdistance · 18/09/2022 04:03

Here to handhold you @Calm1234

I hope you get some sleep or rest, it is quite worrying. I have been there with my df. This happened to him 20 odd years ago. He had a stroke where his right side was affected and his speech was almost non existent. He had lots of rehabilitation and he bounced back pretty good, walking and talking. He kept his driving licence and continued to drive for some time
Take care of yourself 💐

Thank you for this, positive stories are keeping me going. I really appreciate it!

OP posts:
Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 04:25

TheLadyofShalott1 · 18/09/2022 04:15

I am sitting here trying to send you positive energies dear Calm. As others have said, they can do so much these days for people who have had strokes, and from what you have told us so far, both your Dear Mum and your Dear Dad are very strong and lovely people. You have definitely inherited the lovely gene, so there is every reason to believe that you have inherited the 'being strong' gene too.

So please try to take each day as it comes, and you and your DMum can be there for each other, and both of you for your DDad - who is probably fast asleep now and having lovely dreams ❤️ If you don't mind having prayers said, then I will say them for all three of you. xx

Thank you so much, your kind words have made me cry. All prayers and positive thoughts are greatly welcomed. My dad is one of the kindest and honest men I've ever known. He's less than a year into his retirement... life can be so cruel 😞

OP posts:
Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 04:25

Twinsmummy1812 · 18/09/2022 04:17

Worry and sadness are indeed the price we pay for love and your family are so lucky you all love each other so much. As pp have said, one day at a time. Advocate for your father as much as you can, it will make you feel better and you and your mum know him best.

I hope he recovers really well and this is soon a distant bad memory x

Thank you so very much

OP posts:
Fadeout83 · 18/09/2022 04:28

Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 04:25

Thank you so much, your kind words have made me cry. All prayers and positive thoughts are greatly welcomed. My dad is one of the kindest and honest men I've ever known. He's less than a year into his retirement... life can be so cruel 😞

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Sending you lots and lots of prayers and hoping for a quick and full recovery for your lovely dad x

Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 04:28

Fadeout83 · 18/09/2022 04:13

Oh lovely I’m so sorry to hear this. My dad had a stroke a year and a half ago. The clot was removed and he was ok but he had a big bleed a few days later and sadly passed away.

All that to say that your dad is in the best place he can be right now. If I can give some advice, just don’t rush things TOO much. Everyone was in a rush to get my dad rehabilitating immediately as that’s when best outcomes happen but we think the pressure and the frustrations of not being able to do some things caused immense blood pressure spikes that ultimately led to the haemorrhage. It’s important to rehab quickly but just ensure he’s being carefully monitored and if he’s starting to get frustrated at all, it’s worth backing off a bit.

Stroke is truly horrible. Do you know if he had any risk factor? Atrial fibrillation? High blood pressure?

I unfortunately don't, he wasn't one for doctors and a lot of what the consultant said is a bit of a blur. His blood pressure is high though 😔

I'm so sorry for the loss of your father, I hope you and your family are doing well now Flowers

OP posts:
Fadeout83 · 18/09/2022 04:32

Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 04:28

I unfortunately don't, he wasn't one for doctors and a lot of what the consultant said is a bit of a blur. His blood pressure is high though 😔

I'm so sorry for the loss of your father, I hope you and your family are doing well now Flowers

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Thank you! We’re ok. It was tough for a while but as with everything time slowly heals.

The fact that he’s got some movement is really promising. The next few days are usually critical so it’s fantastic he’s getting good care and being monitored. Outcomes for strokes caught early are very positive so fingers firmly crossed.

TheLadyofShalott1 · 18/09/2022 04:36

I'm so sorry for making you cry Calm, I hope that in some way they were comforting tears. I am going to stop writing now and say special and loving prayers for the three of you. I do hope that you can get some sleep soon sweetheart xx

Thistlelass · 18/09/2022 04:38

Hi sorry to hear your news. I did a good number of years social work attached to a community hospital where patients were admitted to slow stream rehab following a stroke. Obviously at the moment your Dad needs critical medical care. Once he becomes stable you should be expecting him to move out of an acute bed situation and over into a longer term rehab facility.
Older people recover at a slower rate. With a stroke the recovery is going to happen to its max level say over the next 3 - 6 months. But it is too soon to be thinking about all that. I hope he does well.

Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 04:44

TheLadyofShalott1 · 18/09/2022 04:36

I'm so sorry for making you cry Calm, I hope that in some way they were comforting tears. I am going to stop writing now and say special and loving prayers for the three of you. I do hope that you can get some sleep soon sweetheart xx

Oh no, they very much were comforting tears, I'm truly moved by the kindness of all the posters who have reached out. It's very much a lonely place right now and every message is lifting me up. Thank you

OP posts:
TheLadyofShalott1 · 18/09/2022 04:46

Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 04:44

Oh no, they very much were comforting tears, I'm truly moved by the kindness of all the posters who have reached out. It's very much a lonely place right now and every message is lifting me up. Thank you

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❤️🌹xx

Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 04:47

Fadeout83 thank you so much. I'm glad you and your family are doing better, I can't imagine how hard it must have been. You sound very strong, I hope I find your strength

OP posts:
Fadeout83 · 18/09/2022 04:47

I’ve sent you a PM, OP

mrsbyers · 18/09/2022 04:49

Hiya I had a stroke a couple of years ago but made a pretty much full recovery apart from some memory issues , but on the flip side I am going through similar situation at the moment with my dad who has Parkinson’s and very poorly with sepsis and infections. Just be assured he will be getting excellent care and try to get some rest so you are fit and well yourself to see him - I know from this week it is difficult not to worry and overthink things but he really is in good hands now x

Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 04:50

Thistlelass · 18/09/2022 04:38

Hi sorry to hear your news. I did a good number of years social work attached to a community hospital where patients were admitted to slow stream rehab following a stroke. Obviously at the moment your Dad needs critical medical care. Once he becomes stable you should be expecting him to move out of an acute bed situation and over into a longer term rehab facility.
Older people recover at a slower rate. With a stroke the recovery is going to happen to its max level say over the next 3 - 6 months. But it is too soon to be thinking about all that. I hope he does well.

Thank you. The doctors and nurses have been lovely so far, I just hope he gets through the next few days and hopefully 🙏 is able to achieve some form of positive recovery in the coming months

OP posts:
Sunsetchaser01 · 18/09/2022 04:58

My dad had a serious stroke in March. He had a large bleed on the back of his brain. At 86 his chances of survival were really poor. However, after catching covid and pneumonia since then he is hoping to come home in a couple of weeks! His voice sounds strange he has some issues swallowing thin liquids but eats really well. He can walk but is in rehab to strengthen his left side. He has a wayward arm which is known as Billy as he became upset when his arm kept swinging out of its own accord, better to blame Billy 😁. I'm not gonna lie, I have had alot of missed sleep this year, it's really tough worrying about him. He has done amazingly and far better than was expected. Your dad is much younger so recovery will hopefully be much easier. There were many times we thought we were saying goodbye this year but my dad keeps on going, he rings me everyday and tbh that's more than we were hoping for . One day at a time is the way to go. Try and sleep you will need stamina for the support. Best wishes and I really wish you and your dad the best xxx

Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 05:08

mrsbyers · 18/09/2022 04:49

Hiya I had a stroke a couple of years ago but made a pretty much full recovery apart from some memory issues , but on the flip side I am going through similar situation at the moment with my dad who has Parkinson’s and very poorly with sepsis and infections. Just be assured he will be getting excellent care and try to get some rest so you are fit and well yourself to see him - I know from this week it is difficult not to worry and overthink things but he really is in good hands now x

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry, your poor father Flowers. I'll be sure to keep him in my thoughts and prayers. It's such an awful thing to witness a parent so unwell, I hope you and you're family are okay. You sound very strong though. Congratulations on recovering so well from your stroke, I hope my father is lucky enough to do the same

OP posts:
Original poster
Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 05:10

Sunsetchaser01 · 18/09/2022 04:58

My dad had a serious stroke in March. He had a large bleed on the back of his brain. At 86 his chances of survival were really poor. However, after catching covid and pneumonia since then he is hoping to come home in a couple of weeks! His voice sounds strange he has some issues swallowing thin liquids but eats really well. He can walk but is in rehab to strengthen his left side. He has a wayward arm which is known as Billy as he became upset when his arm kept swinging out of its own accord, better to blame Billy 😁. I'm not gonna lie, I have had alot of missed sleep this year, it's really tough worrying about him. He has done amazingly and far better than was expected. Your dad is much younger so recovery will hopefully be much easier. There were many times we thought we were saying goodbye this year but my dad keeps on going, he rings me everyday and tbh that's more than we were hoping for . One day at a time is the way to go. Try and sleep you will need stamina for the support. Best wishes and I really wish you and your dad the best xxx

This is such a lovely story, I hope I'll be saying something similar in a years time. Love to you and your father, he sounds fantastic!

OP posts:
DarceyG · 18/09/2022 07:10

Calm1234 · 18/09/2022 05:10

This is such a lovely story, I hope I'll be saying something similar in a years time. Love to you and your father, he sounds fantastic!

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Hope you managed to sleep and you’re feeling a bit stronger. Please keep us posted on how your dad is. Sending you lots of positive energy x

CormoranStrike · 18/09/2022 08:30

When my dad had his first stroke it was pretty much as you describe.

Although other health issues affected him in his later years, he made a decent recovery from that one. I remember being told that the quicker things return the better the long term prognosis. movement retuning to his foot is a very good sign.

Twinsmummy1812 · 20/09/2022 11:09

How are you all @Calm1234 ? I hope your dad is making good progress? X

Warringstars · 01/03/2023 11:48

i really hope that whatever the prognosis, the OP has found some peace.

TheLadyofShalott1 · 01/03/2023 11:59

@Calm1234 How are you Dear Calm? Did your Dear Dad pull through, and if he very sadly didn't, how are you and your family coping? xx

Original poster
Calm1234 · 01/03/2023 21:58

@TheLadyofShalott1 My dad did pull through 😊. It’s been an awfully long road but given the circumstances he’s doing amazingly. He was in hospital for almost 3 months. He can walk now, albeit only very short distances and his memory is still intact. We feel incredibly lucky. Thank you to everyone who reached out that night, I’m incredibly grateful to you all.

OP posts:
Winniewoooooooo · 01/03/2023 22:05

Didn't read original thread but lovely to see the update x