Does anyone else HATE driving places they don't know?

[slinkydinkydonkey]

Me and DH have had a massive argument because of this and it stresses me out so much. I have always hated driving places that I don't know where I'm going - I can't explain why but it causes me extreme anxiety and I just hate it. My DH on the other hand doesn't get this at all and calls me ridiculous and he cannot understand why I get so panicked about this.

Am I weird or does anyone else get this?

I completely understand where you are coming from! I hate driving and I have a weird thing which some have described as directional dyslexia. Sat navs are no use to me either, I need to be able to see where I am going and use google maps to check the route on local journeys. I avoid motorways, have never driven on one and need landmarks to help me on the return journey. I know 3 ways to work but my head cannot compute how the roads join up at all. It takes me a long time to get used to a journey before I feel comfortable and it only needs a road closed or diversion sign to send me into a panic. Luckily I have a husband who loves driving and who understands my issues. We had a new road built around here, it took me 2 years to drive down it and even now I am not too keen.

@Smellywellyhoo I'm actually a brilliant driver. I just don't drive outside my comfort zone but I have a load of places that to go to regularly.

I hate when people honk at you if you're in the wrong lane. It's fine if you drive a route regularly you know where to go but it's very difficult to read a road sign, make s quick decision and get in the right lane if it's completely new to you.

Just a tad judgemental I think. Anxiety with navigating unfamiliar territory and anxiety while driving a car are not the same thing.

Oh god yes. Even driving to places I know is stressful. The UK is so insanely overcrowded that you haven't a second to hesitate or make a mistake. If you do, someone is up your backside, bibbing and accelerating around you. Plus, of course, you can never get parked. We had some friends over from rural Canada last year and their daughter had a panic attack on the drive from the airport – she was just so overwhelmed with the noise and speed and traffic.

This is me. Sheer panic of the unknown when driving. Terrible anxiety over it, which counselling has helped a bit. But I hate driving anywhere new

No. Not really. I quite enjoy first navigating a new route and then filling in the gaps. I've always seen it as an adventure.

DH just gets really stressed driving in unfamiliar locations, even with a sat nav. He thinks I'm somehow naturally better at it than he is.

The difference is that I put a good bit of effort into preparing for the new route. I look on Google maps online, with special attention to the points where I shall need to change direction and the points where the route diverges from a route I already know.

I get an overall feel for the shape of the journey which means I'm much better prepared because I know where I'm going.

If I haven't been able to prepare then I tend to navigate rather than drive as DH appears to be completely unable to navigate. He has no concept of checking by reference to the map that each change of direction has been where we meant to go so if we have gone wrong we can correct quickly.

He will go a really long way round if it means the route is easy. I mean seriously a long way round. He almost expects to get lost and then keep driving until he knows where he is again. Keeping on going appears to be his only strategy when lost.

Yep I hate it even though I have sat nav in the car. When I'll be driving somewhere I've never been before I study Google maps/ street view before I go. I hate not knowing where I have to turn off or what lane I need at a roundabout.

Doesn't happen to me and I don't really 'get it'. Why don't you get some counselling for it? And speak to your GP re your general anxiety?

Then do something about it. Be proactive. There are practical things you ca do.

For the people who worry about merging when 'noone will let you in' I'd encourage you to stop stressing about or even giving any thought to anything behind you.

When you need to merge, you signal and the. slow down and if necessary stop until someone lets you in.

No biggie if it takes ages. If anyone were to get impatient and drive into you from behind it would be entirely their fault.

For me, that takes all the stress out of it. Hope it helps you, too.

No this isn’t something that bothers me, but thing is OP it’s all very well loads of people agreeing with you but it doesn’t solve your issue about this particular journey does it?

How old is your son? If this has just come up for the first time I’ll take a guess he’s quite young, so it’s likely this kind of situation is going to come up again.

Can you book some advanced driving lessons to build up your confidence? Or could your husband or a friend to go with you on unfamiliar routes?

I’d focus on what you can do to fix this, as it’s surely very restrictive and something you can find a way to move on from.

Yep - it narrowed my world right down for a good while until circumstances forced me to confront it a bit... the pandemic and university placements in the community meaning I HAD to be able to get in and out of a city I didn't know too well. Now I'm working in a community based role with a LOT of travelling to random locations in a huge county - it's stressful but I wanted to do the job so I'm working through it.

I just don't know how you can class yourself as a brilliant driver when you're scared of driving. It doesn't make any sense.

I'm not scared of driving round were I live and places that I know. I just don't like driving into the unknown.

I was once in the wrong lane and got forced into Glasgow city centre instead of the airport. I was in a complete panic and that's where my isdues stemmed from.

Me too. I hate not knowing the area and have to check where to park in advance.

But what are you going to do about it?

You can’t just not drive anywhere you don’t know forever, things like this situation will keep coming up.

Can you arrange some advance driving lessons, someone going out with you?

I would have sympathy for a partner feeling like this only if they were actively trying to do something about it.

That’s annoying, but a pretty normal thing to have happened to anyone at some point when they’re driving.

It doesn’t have to mark your driving forever, hope you can build your confidence back up again.

I actually don't mind the thought of getting lost, but motorway driving fills me with such fear that I just can't do it. I'm really thinking of getting lessons again as it does completely narrow your world, as a pp said. I can happily drive around unfamiliar places on smaller roads.

So without trying to simplify this too much, as I can see it’s a genuine issue …. How does one place that is “unknown” become “known”?
you’ve obviously got a line in the sand here …. So what can change? Practice runs, studying maps, looking for landmarks??

@ToooOldForThis it's strange is it it?!? I drive motorways all the time and actually don't mind that. I have no idea what started my fear. I've driving 20 years so I'm not new to it all either. I very rarely need to ever drive anywhere new or where I do t know so I don't imagine I'll really do much about it.

@Goldunicorn I suppose if I have been to a place as a passenger it makes it easier and I would then attempt it but I'm literally studying the roads as I go.

I love it, especially for a long weekend away. Point the car in any direction and keep going for 40 miles before taking a right or a left and seeing where we end up. I have found some fantastic places doing this. Sometimes bleak, but not always.

It is challenging and uplifting to navigate direction throughout the day by the position of the sun. There is normally accommodation somewhere. Mere, the Golden Valley, Flash, the Cheviots and an amazing small valley somewhere in west Wales with ancient tracks to a wide flat stream where our kids played all day and we never saw a soul apart from the local farmer who smiled.

Left, then right, straight on right then left, then left again..... We always get home.

Wouldn't say I hate it, but I definitely don't like it very much!

I love driving on motorways though, and dual carriageways.

I love google street view for looking at new areas in advance, makes me feel much less anxious.