Does anyone else HATE driving places they don't know?

[slinkydinkydonkey]

Me and DH have had a massive argument because of this and it stresses me out so much. I have always hated driving places that I don't know where I'm going - I can't explain why but it causes me extreme anxiety and I just hate it. My DH on the other hand doesn't get this at all and calls me ridiculous and he cannot understand why I get so panicked about this.

Am I weird or does anyone else get this?

Yes! My OH can't understand it either, he drives a lot for work so finds it easy. He doesn't see why I can't just read the road signs- it's really not that simple for me! He's not horrible to be about it though!

I really really dislike city driving
Ask me to drive Cumbria to Oxford and use motorways tomorrow, cool. Ask me to drive in Manchester city centre, no thanks!
Fine with country roads too

I’m like this. I live rurally and if I have to travel into a city it literally sends me into a panic. I’ve got to drive my dd to her university tomorrow and I’m absolutely bricking it - I’ve not driven to this particular accommodation before. I’m so, so nervous. I wish I was like your dh. I literally go on google maps satellite and follow the roads as if I’m driving them.

I’m another that completely understands, I used to be exactly the same and would panic when I had to go anywhere unfamiliar and often ended up getting cabs or public transport if I couldn’t get someone else to drive.

But I did get over it, a few years ago I got a job that involves a a fair amount of driving in London. I was bloody terrified at first but I told myself it’s just roads and they are all connected somewhere so if I make a wrong turn it doesn’t matter because I can either turn around or google maps will show another route. Yes I know that probably sounds silly and obvious but part of my panic was getting lost/going the wrong way. I can tell you that London driving can be a bloody nightmare! Lanes aren’t always marked well and google maps is often shit telling you to turn off when it’s too late and you are stuck in another lane and can’t get over etc. I made many errors at first. Also I had to read up on road signs because there were alot I were unfamiliar with and had never come across before. I also used to listen to music or have someone to talk to on hands free because that helped me relax and wasn’t distracting to my driving (I can drive fine it was just the unfamiliar places that worried me). Now I’m not fussed about driving anywhere.

Why not set yourself a target to drive somewhere not too far away you haven’t been before. Look at the route in detail beforehand. Use google maps or Waze instead of a satnav and make sure it’s in a proper cradle. Play some music you like or have someone come with you plus remember to think positive!

I don't know if this helps but I suffer the same anxiety when driving to places I don't know. So a day before the trip I look up the route on googlemaps, not just the map itself but the Google view where I can see the street and signs, houses etc.

This helps me a lot as It reduces the anxiety because I can identify any difficult junctions, streets etc. It does take time especially if the trip is over an hour but it does help me very much.

Not the driving but I worry about parking because I haven't parallel parked in almost 20 years 🤦‍♀️

Yes I get this although I'm more anxious about my destination than the journey, i.e. finding a specific address and especially parking. I get very stressed around parking 😂

Get yourself the Parkopedia app or YourParkingSpace, you search for proper car parks or street parking or even book peoples private driveways/garages🙂

I totally get this. I hate driving to places for the first time.

I get like this if I leave London.

I’m fine I’m London, because I can’t get lost. I have my bearings and can ‘home pigeon’ my way in the generally right direction. But out of London, especially when it involves dual carriageways and big roundabouts and I’m following Sat Nav and haven’t really got a clue where I’m going, I do get anxious.

I find looking at a proper, old school map beforehand helps a bit.

Plough on with it, though. Don’t let it put you off driving. You’ll only build confidence by doing it over and over again.

Just follow a sat nav. It's not hard.

I get this. Lots of anxiety as my satnav has got me lost in weird places and on ‘roads’ that my car is not built to deal with, I feel unsafe as lone woman being lost somewhere out of the way and asking for directions. I have anxiety generally, I don’t mind driving in unknown places as long as I don’t get lost and sat nav behaves itself but it’s an unknown, I can’t control what will happen. Wouldn’t mind as much if I had someone with me so would feel safer.

I can’t do it either. I get really anxious and just can’t do it. All the lanes and trying to get in the right one etc etc. nope. I’m a confident person too so I think some people are surprised but it’s one thing I would love to change about myself

Yes I get more anxious about parking to, I will actively avoid places/business that don’t have their own parking as I will stress too much.

For me - and most of those agreeing with the op here - this isn’t the issue. A sat nav can’t help me with getting into a lane if no one will let me in, or navigating a roundabout where there’s no obvious indication of what lane to be in (I’m looking at you, Nottingham with your many multi lane city centre roundabouts)! The best sat nav in the world isn’t going to make me feel better - I have a very good one with lane assist etc etc but that doesn’t always help much in real life.

I always have a look at street view beforehand, just at what look to be busy junctions so that I know what to expect

This is a really good point. I did this last year. I wanted to do a race that was at a country park just off the M4 and I don't like motorway driving, so I didn't want to end up on the M4 by accident. So I looked at Streetview and worked out the exact layout of the junction, so when I came back out of the park after the race I would be able to get straight into the right lane. It worked really well.

But remember, the worst thing that can happen if you go wrong is that you have to turn round somewhere. It's not a big deal taking the wrong turning.

Following a satnav takes away your autonomy. Much better to look at a map, plan your route, have an idea where you are going and use the satnav as a support and reassurance you are correct, don't rely on it blindly. The satnav is good for the last little bit of a journey, especially if you are trying to find a specific location and not for example heading to any car park in a city centre. But for the main part of the journey anyone should be able to use maps and follow roadsigns. Although it can be good for giving you an alternative route if there's an accident or roadworks.

I'm the same OP and I definitely wouldn't drive 2 hours for a football match. I've realised that for me it's about processing. I need lots of time to judge distances and make decisions, I'm ok on a single lane road but if it's dual carriageway, lane changes etc I can't do it unless it's a route I already know. It just overloads my brain.

Can you do a practice run beforehand?

I understand it but I can't say I experience it. If there is somewhere I have to go and don't know the area, I study the route to get there a few days prior to the trip.

I do get worried about road signs being obscured by overgrowth or vandalised, so I find Streetview on Google Maps is ideal for me as I use landmarks, ie we must be close because we just went past that building I saw on Streetview. It's like map reading but virtual instead of a huge, cumbersome map spread over the dashboard. I'll also have my phone connected to my car so the satnav can back me up if I forget something.

Navigation and map reading really should make a comeback I feel, it would cure so much of the anxiety people have these days.

I am like this too, absolutely hate going new places but I do it. I think I'm slowly getting better. What I specifically hate or get worked up about it is the changing lanes bit, I like to know as early as possible and take my time but it's not always possible. Checking Google satellite images to understand large roundabouts with multiple lanes ahead of journeys helps. I'm sure in the future there will be an app where you can add the starting address and destination, the app then shows you drivers point of view video for the journey with commentary on how to navigate. I would pay a lot of money for that app!

I used to be like this! I was having counselling for other reasons and it came up, my therapist was able to immediately link it to something traumatic which happened to me as a child.
I know it sounds ridiculous but because I now know why I get so anxious.

Could you have some therapy for it or can you think about something which has happened to you in a car which quite understandably would make you anxious?

I don't really like driving in unfamiliar places. The most traumatic was when I had to urgently take my cat to the vets in Bristol as he was seriously unwell. In my 30 years of driving I had never driven further than Cardiff but I did it.

Another time I drove to Abergavenny along the A465. I knew the route even with the roadworks when my partner was driving. However when it was my first time driving there was a diversion, I didn't have a clue where we were and I didn't like it.

Going somewhere new I obsessively plot the route.

Dithery anxious drivers can be dangerous- should you be driving at all?

I'm exactly like this OP. I always pre learn a new route on Google maps if I can. Occasionally I'll do street view too so I can virtually travel the route in advance. I don't know why it causes me so much anxiety, I'm a perfectly competent driver and never had any accidents in 13 years... But it just stresses me so much.

I have also noticed that I can normally repeat a route having only visited somewhere once. So the anxiety/hyper focus does have its upsides.

My DH is completely chilled and so long as he has a sat nav he's not bothered. He could go somewhere 10 times and still struggle to do it without the sat nav though.