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Original poster

How should I handle this situation? Twins and party invite.

63 replies

TeenyDancy · 15/09/2022 15:03

I have twin dds aged 6. They play with a girl at school, I'll call her Beth. At home time they play for a few minutes and before school they walk in together. They are good friends.

Beth has mentioned she is having a party and my dds can come. Dds have been very excited and they talk with Beth about it at playtime.

Beth sent out party invites to a few children but not my dds. Dds came out sad and Beth said she will ask her mum for their invites. Mum said sorry but they're not invited.

Beth and dds look upset.

Next day dds came home and said Beth's mum told Beth it's best if she didn't invite dds as they will probably only bring one present! It's a small party so not everyone can go. She will get more gifts if she invite other children.

I was gob smacked.

How can I explain this in a better way to my dds? They are still upset and now think Beth doesn't like them.

OP posts:
Anon778833 · 15/09/2022 15:05

How horrible for you and your DD’s. I always hear that if anything, it’s twins who are treated as one person by other people. Not the other way!

The child’s mother sounds like a grabby bitch. Not everyone can afford presents, anyway(!)

Original poster
TeenyDancy · 15/09/2022 15:06

Do people really think this when it comes to twins and parties?

OP posts:
Anon778833 · 15/09/2022 15:06

I would just tell them it’s not Beth who made the decision, it’s her mum.

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Anon778833 · 15/09/2022 15:06

TeenyDancy · 15/09/2022 15:06

Do people really think this when it comes to twins and parties?

Decent people don’t.

Nottogetapenny · 15/09/2022 15:09

That is so horrible for your dear daughters. What a horrible women. I would buy 2 really nice presents and give them to ‘Beth’ Her mother should feel throughly ashamed of herself.

trilbydoll · 15/09/2022 15:12

Everyone I know with twins brings two presents (I would have preferred one, our house is full enough already!) Same as if both my dc go to a party I either do 2 presents or one big one that costs more than I'd usually spend.

listsandbudgets · 15/09/2022 15:16

Wow... that's flabbergasting..

DS has just had triplets join his year at school. I certainly won't be inviting THEM to any parties Grin

What a stupid woman and how horrible for your DDs and Beth Sad

Can you arrange a playdate somewhere near the time and have a mini celebration with presents (two of them!)

Sunshineismyfriend · 15/09/2022 15:19

Wow. How grabby is that mum? I can’t believe she’d say that, let alone think it.

yikesanotherbooboo · 15/09/2022 15:22

Wow, poor Beth!
Most parents are delighted to have fewer presents hanging around.
Beth's mother's attitude is one that I have never heard of or been aware of apart , perhaps, rumours of brides checking off who has bought what .
Three sets of twins in one of my DC's class, two presents if twins having a joint party.

Whatsthepointofmosquitos · 15/09/2022 15:23

Tell your DDs that sometimes lovely people have rubbish parents, and that, although Beth likes them very much and wants to invite them, the mummy doesn’t know them well and has chosen different guests, instead of letting Beth choose.

Never heard of anyone else doing this, the woman is clearly an asshole. My son plays with a twin and I always make sure to invite both of them to parties, even though we hardly know the other twin (he’s in a different class at school) because I figured it would be annoying for the mum to have only one twin invited.

Can’t believe she’s planning the party guests list around the presents she wants. Bizarre.

JauntyJinty · 15/09/2022 15:24

Nottogetapenny · 15/09/2022 15:09

That is so horrible for your dear daughters. What a horrible women. I would buy 2 really nice presents and give them to ‘Beth’ Her mother should feel throughly ashamed of herself.

The problem is whilst that would make a decent person feel guilty, I suspect someone like Beths mum will just think "ha ha, what a mug"

I don't think you can do anything about it this time OP - but I don't think it's something that will come up again. This mum's just a weirdo!

tuesdayblues1 · 15/09/2022 15:24

oh my god that's rotten! I have 3 year old twin girls and always always buy 2 presents when we go to parties (I'd just like to point out though that every single invitation we've had from nursery has been 1 invite to cover both of them - which always leads to one of them being upset - so if you are sending invites out, it's just a bit of paper, please send two 🙏)

Mariposista · 15/09/2022 15:28

I cannot believe what I am reading. Your poor girls and poor Beth!
FWIW I would be delighted to get fewer presents for DV birthday - they have too much stuff as it is!

EmmiJay · 15/09/2022 15:29

Oh thats just mean. The mum is a twunt! As pp have said just explain its the mums fault and leave it at that sadly.

blockpavingismynightmare · 15/09/2022 15:30

OP Buy two presents for Beth for your daughters to give on her birthday regardless of whether or not they have been invited to her party. They are friends and that is what friends do.

Ship · 15/09/2022 15:32

Ah that’s so sad. If I had twins I probably would only send one present from both kids but a decent present instead of 2 cheaper ones. If I invited twins to my daughters party I wouldn’t expect 2 presents! I can’t believe that she’s said she should invite people who give her more presents instead of friends! Really sad. If you can, it would be lovely for your twins to give Beth a little something because she’s their friend and like pps have said explain that it was Beth’s mum and not Beth who didn’t invite them

SleepingStandingUp · 15/09/2022 15:32

blockpavingismynightmare · 15/09/2022 15:30

OP Buy two presents for Beth for your daughters to give on her birthday regardless of whether or not they have been invited to her party. They are friends and that is what friends do.

Depends on the school, Beth is clearly a school friend only and buying two nice presents for every one the twins are friends with is more than many people can afford to do

Bananarama21 · 15/09/2022 15:34

You don't know if the mum actually said this 6 years lie.

dworky · 15/09/2022 15:43

It would be unlikely for a 6yr old to think that, without hearing it from an adult.

HebeSunshine · 15/09/2022 15:48

Bloody hell as a mum to now 17 yr old twins, I missed a trick there. Who knew I only had to buy one present for all the parties they went to, as if they were one entity Confused

Beth's mum's a grabby weirdo.

Endofdaysarehere · 15/09/2022 15:52

As a twin mum I only buy one present when both are invited, but I double the budget so the present is unusually good Lego compared to the usual three bricks my budget affords.

The mum is a grabby loon. Best avoided, or even better, best invited to your twins party. Be sure to send two invitations so it’s clear two presents are expected!

abovedecknotbelow · 15/09/2022 15:52

I have twins. If they were both invited they always took a present each.

--what really pissed me off was at their parties guests came along with one present / card
For both of them--

Thankfully we are away from those days now.

User354354 · 15/09/2022 15:53

How awful. My DD has BF twins. If anything their mum makes a huge deal about sending her children to parties with different cards and presents.

What an awful woman she is.

LosttheremoteAGAIN · 15/09/2022 15:58

abovedecknotbelow · 15/09/2022 15:52

I have twins. If they were both invited they always took a present each.

--what really pissed me off was at their parties guests came along with one present / card
For both of them--

Thankfully we are away from those days now.

I have twin brothers and that’s what my mother would have gone mental about-to peoples faces
i can still hear ‘they are bloody twins-not one person!it’s bad enough they have to share a birthday and party,without tight fisted fools just buying one present!’
she lost a lot of people in her life (she was called greedy) but the ones that stayed always brought two cards and presents

if they where invited to a party,they always took one each for the birthday child-it did work both ways

Clarklette85 · 15/09/2022 16:03

That’s utterly flabbergasting. What an awful awful woman! Seriously the thought of making her daughter sad so she can fill her house with more plastic crap is so ridiculous it’s beyond words!