How should I handle this situation? Twins and party invite.

[TeenyDancy]

I have twin dds aged 6. They play with a girl at school, I'll call her Beth. At home time they play for a few minutes and before school they walk in together. They are good friends.

Beth has mentioned she is having a party and my dds can come. Dds have been very excited and they talk with Beth about it at playtime.

Beth sent out party invites to a few children but not my dds. Dds came out sad and Beth said she will ask her mum for their invites. Mum said sorry but they're not invited.

Beth and dds look upset.

Next day dds came home and said Beth's mum told Beth it's best if she didn't invite dds as they will probably only bring one present! It's a small party so not everyone can go. She will get more gifts if she invite other children.

I was gob smacked.

How can I explain this in a better way to my dds? They are still upset and now think Beth doesn't like them.

DS was given one (not age appropriate) present from a family with twins and two younger siblings that I didn't invite. I only actually invited one twin as the other was in another class and DS barely knew him but the mother called me up with 'did you know they are twins?' and expected that both attend. I think it's often a one present per family idea rather than twin related though.

Poor Beth! I agree with others suggesting that you buy two presents for her anyway.

If your DDs invite her to their party, I'd also reassure Beth's mum that she doesn't have to bring a present at all, or if she really wants to, just bring one joint present. Just because she sounds like the kind of person who would not let Beth come to your daughters' birthday because she doesn't want to buy two presents.

I’d never thought about it before but I would assume twins or even siblings invited to a party would only bring 1 present but why the f%*k would any parent care. I teach my child never to expect a present!

This is what I would say too.

That's harsh! I have no idea whether twins we've invited have given more than one present. I don't think most people would care. Having said that, if someone invites a sibling, I do tend to give either a bigger or an extra present, but wouldn't expect same if I invited a sibling. I only feel cheesed off when people bring uninvited siblings without asking.

I think all you can do is tell your girls that Beth really wanted them there but that their mum said they had to limit numbers

I'm a twin and my mum always gave us two presents to give to a person who had invited us. This made sense as they would often give each of us a present. Then again, we did get a guitar one year and that caused a a lot of problems.

I've heard it all now 🙄
Pathetic parenting by Beth's mum, rearing a grabby, entitled child. Well that's the example she is giving.

As a parent I would absolutely never think about the presents when inviting a child!!

Why in name of all that is Holy, are you still giving this child the 2 presents from your 2 daughters? Like fuck would I be giving them anything!

Maybe I am just more long in the tooth/jaded, after being used and fucked over, by the mums of DD's friends, so-called friends, and frenemies for some 12-13 years!

The weirdest thing I ever remember happening when DD was younger. Although it's not the same as your experience here.

I was having a party at the Playbarn for her, and invited all the girls from her class - 13 children. One woman who had one daughter - exactly the same age as mine, all but few weeks, and declined the invite on her daughter's behalf, and said 'sorry, but Eliza said the playbarn party is far too childish for her!'

They were six. SIX.

Stupid cow. DD never liked the girl anyway. She's only invited her coz she didn't want her to be the only girl out of the class not invited. Even now, in her mid 20s, 'Eliza' is a snobby bint. No-one likes her. OR her mother.

disclaimer, ELIZA is not her real name!

Well the mother has certainly shown her true colours. I'd tell your DC that their friend really wanted to invite them but their mum had to limit numbers.

Dont make a drama out of it. Explain to your dc that her mum was mistaken and she would have got a present from each (if true) but also, most importantly, that parties are about what presents you gain, they are about spending time with people whose company you enjoy, and maybe her mum doesnt realise that yet

All the mums believing that was came out of the 6yr olds mouth is what was actually said ! I highly doubt the Mum said that at all.

OP. Your two children, siblings, did not get invited. Might or might not be to do with the fact they're twins. Maybe you big up the 'twin' thing and she felt expected to invite both and simply didn't have space? Could be a million reasons.

Hilarious everyone would fall out over it. It's just a party. Be thankful you don't have to go!