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Original poster

School making DC wrote a letter of condolence for the Queen

157 replies

wheredidIleavemystyle · 15/09/2022 06:48

The school are creating a book of condolence for the DC to write in.

On the surface of it, this is a nice idea, and I can see

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 15/09/2022 06:53

Standard in most schools to do something, DDs school they wrote a little 'postcard' which have been displayed in the main hall. Most just said 'Thank You' apparently. It would be strange if schools in the UK didn't do anything.

Original poster
wheredidIleavemystyle · 15/09/2022 06:54

Oops! Posted too soon! I meant to copy it over to AIBU! Oh well..

I was going to say, I can see how this would be helpful to children who feel upset or who want to.

But the school have made it a compulsory homework .

AIBU to think this is off? I don't think primary aged DC should be forced to write a letter about someone who died if they don't want to?

In our house, we think it's sad the queen died, the same as when any person dies, but we're not grieving as we didn't know her. I don't want my DD encouraged into performing grief - or getting caught up in collective acts of public grief for a monarch. We're not Royalists either.

I'm happy for my DD to be offered the chance to take part but unhappy on her being forced.

AIBU the school have got it wrong here?

OP posts:
MyLovelyPen · 15/09/2022 06:55

I think it’s totally wrong for all DC to be made to do it. There should be choice.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General education
Notagardener · 15/09/2022 06:56

Wrong wrong. Would not have done this if my DC still at prim school

MushMonster · 15/09/2022 06:56

It is a good chance to learn what one is and how to write it.
I still remember the first one I had to write and sign, in my family's name!, last minute thing and I had no clue of what to write on it!

Isaidnoalready · 15/09/2022 06:57

Unless your secondary school there is no such thing as compulsory homework

Decidualcast · 15/09/2022 06:59

YANBU. Utterly ridiculous.

Original poster
wheredidIleavemystyle · 15/09/2022 07:00

Isaidnoalready · 15/09/2022 06:57

Unless your secondary school there is no such thing as compulsory homework

They are going to write the letter in school with any child who fails to do it at home, so yes, compulsory as in they will all be made to do it one way or another.

They don't usually do this with other homeworks, they are usually pretty relaxed if the DC don't do it.

OP posts:
PersonaNonGarter · 15/09/2022 07:01

It’s really just writing practice, though?

I mean they have to write about all sorts of stuff at that stage. This is just letter writing practice. I really don’t see the issue. Same as ‘what I did at the weekend’ stories.

FourChimneys · 15/09/2022 07:02

I would have been writing a note to the school explaining why my child was not doing this piece of homework.

Then quite possibly saying that we had done some reading practice from the Republic website or whatever instead.

OppsUpsSide · 15/09/2022 07:07

I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. A letter of condolence isn’t usually written by someone who is grieving but to someone who is grieving, so the fact your daughter isn’t grieving but can see it’s a sad thing for others isn’t at odds to writing a letter of condolence. It’s essentially a form of letter writing.
Whatever a persons feelings about the monarchy may be, it is still a National and historical event which you would expect schools to acknowledge in some way.

jumperoozles · 15/09/2022 07:09

Oh for goodness sake just so it and move on - all this writing notes to schools explaining why your child shouldn’t do it. Precious.

Original poster
wheredidIleavemystyle · 15/09/2022 07:12

FourChimneys · 15/09/2022 07:02

I would have been writing a note to the school explaining why my child was not doing this piece of homework.

Then quite possibly saying that we had done some reading practice from the Republic website or whatever instead.

I'm considering that, but I resent my DD having to be the odd one out.

Dealing with death is tricky enough for a child, dealing with being the only one who didn't engage with the public act of grief could be trickier.

Also I've not asked her if she wants to.

I think the best approach is probably to ask her if she wants to do it, back her decision either way and to talk to her about wider issues to do with death, the monarchy and celebrity in general.

I'm surprised at the school as they're normally pretty good at being sensitive and flexible about things. The compulsory nature seems off to me and at odd with their usual approach.

I wonder if they have a committed royalist on the senior leadership team.

OP posts:
Eeksilon · 15/09/2022 07:14

Yes I agree you're completely missing the point - it's writing practice! Plus a nice idea for a child to learn how to express sympathy? It is sad that someone has died - whether or not you agree with the royal family is beside the point - and the school teaching your child the manners to know it's appropriate to say something is definitely not a bad thing.

Above all, it's still waiting practice 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

Shpaniel · 15/09/2022 07:16

Oh for goodness sake just so it and move on - all this writing notes to schools explaining why your child shouldn’t do it. Precious.

This x 100000000.

I bet none of the posters on here who are so outraged have bothered to channel their ire to their MP and complain about the catrastrophe that is school funding that will very much impact your child.

Has the school forced the child to write pro-Royalist comments? It respectful and topical to mark the death of any person and it’s no more than that.

Suggest you find an actual cause to champion to channel your energies.

Original poster
wheredidIleavemystyle · 15/09/2022 07:16

OppsUpsSide · 15/09/2022 07:07

I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. A letter of condolence isn’t usually written by someone who is grieving but to someone who is grieving, so the fact your daughter isn’t grieving but can see it’s a sad thing for others isn’t at odds to writing a letter of condolence. It’s essentially a form of letter writing.
Whatever a persons feelings about the monarchy may be, it is still a National and historical event which you would expect schools to acknowledge in some way.

Yes, I agree with you to some extent. It is a national, historic event and I would be astonished if the school didn't mark it.

But why is this the only compulsory homework they've ever had, to my knowledge?

I don't think something about such a sensitive topic as death should be forced on the DC. How many of them will have had recent deaths in the family or a terminally ill family member, perhaps a grandparent? Probably a fair few.

OP posts:
picklemewalnuts · 15/09/2022 07:17

Do you not think it's an important act of empathy to recognise that other people are grieving and that something significant has happened?
Having an experience of finding the right words on these occasions is quite helpful, I'd think.

I'm not intending that to sound snippy, I mean that whether you approve or not a massive undertaking is in action involving various departments, services, armed forces etc and a family are grieving.

That's significant and worth noting.

A condolence note could say 'I'm sorry for your loss, it's sad when a family member dies'.
It could say, 'I'm sorry for your loss, and all the extra work you have to do!'.

It doesn't have to say 'I'm grief stricken at the death of your elderly relative whose position I oppose.'

picklemewalnuts · 15/09/2022 07:18

I think the pandemic was far more triggering than this, to be honest, in terms of confronting grief and loss.

FinallyHere · 15/09/2022 07:19

Seems like a good writing exercise and a useful life skill. There is never going to be a good time to write a letter of condolence. So long as they accept whatever the child produces and do not make them rewrite it until it's 'perfect' why would you not want your child to have this experience?

I really feel for teachers.

EarringsandLipstick · 15/09/2022 07:19

PersonaNonGarter · 15/09/2022 07:01

It’s really just writing practice, though?

I mean they have to write about all sorts of stuff at that stage. This is just letter writing practice. I really don’t see the issue. Same as ‘what I did at the weekend’ stories.

This.

I can't believe the level of performative grief going on but don't class this as part of it. Don't overthink it

Doyoumind · 15/09/2022 07:20

It's writing practice to mark a historical moment. It's about expressing sympathy, not grieving. It's probably homework as it wasn't in the original teaching plan for obvious reasons. You are being ridiculous.

Sirzy · 15/09/2022 07:20

OppsUpsSide · 15/09/2022 07:07

I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. A letter of condolence isn’t usually written by someone who is grieving but to someone who is grieving, so the fact your daughter isn’t grieving but can see it’s a sad thing for others isn’t at odds to writing a letter of condolence. It’s essentially a form of letter writing.
Whatever a persons feelings about the monarchy may be, it is still a National and historical event which you would expect schools to acknowledge in some way.

This

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 15/09/2022 07:20

Secondary school made committed republican write condolences card. Think dc focused on the personal loss rather than the loss to the nation.

picklemewalnuts · 15/09/2022 07:20

I actually think it's really nice- schools get loads of mileage out of things like this! So many fab educational opportunities, in things that the DC can be interested and excited by without being personally affected by.

Aria2015 · 15/09/2022 07:20

I would view it as writing practise, and practise In letter writing (how to set out a letter properly) and also a lesson in thoughtfulness. I have written condolence cards / letters to colleagues for example that have lost a spouse or parent that I never met and wasn't grieving for, just as a show of support. I really would put this in the same boat so it wouldn't bother me if it was compulsory.