School making DC wrote a letter of condolence for the Queen

[wheredidIleavemystyle]

The school are creating a book of condolence for the DC to write in.

On the surface of it, this is a nice idea, and I can see

Probably because it’s a national historic event….

It’s writing practice, there are plenty of transferable skills in this task. It’s also a “soft” introduction to grief and death, I’m sure the school will be aware of children that might be impacted in a bigger way. Just not talking about it isn’t any better than “forcing” them to write a letter that directly addresses current events that they are already aware of.

Learning how to express condolences in writing is very useful. There's often threads on here where people are having trouble writing sympathy cards. If you're getting in a tizz about it just think of it as a useful writing exercise and life skill and move on. It really is of no consequence whatsoever.

in which case having discussion and being encouraged to think about emotions of both themselves and others is a good thing to help them deal with other things they may have experienced.

And this is great.

There will be times when you see a friend grieving the loss of an arsehole husband, or a nightmare mother, and you still have to find the words.

It's a skill - I've seen people say to a widow 'well you were having problems anyway' just appalling!!

This. Why are you so incensed?

I think treating death like some hyper sensitive subject that children should be protected from at all costs is a bit alien to me.

Fat better for children to start understand the concept of death, by acknowledging the death of someone who is not known to them.

Lots of children will be dropped in the deep end with death at some point during their childhood, when a close relative dies. I don’t think protecting them from the company veto of it, helps.

Pluse it’s a historical event, schools will always do a piece of work around a historical event as it’s happening. My kids are 11 and 18 now, but I wouldn’t have had a problem about this.

I agree that this is so wrong. I would not be happy for my DD to be doing this in school. I respect everyone's right to grieve if they feel they had some sort of connection to her but this forced mourning is getting outrageous. Children really should not be getting roped into all of this. I am a teacher (on mat leave) and we have several children whose parents have died. These sorts of tasks can be very triggering for children and I hardly think it is worth the risk. Is that what the Queen would have wanted?!

Actually, I think writing a letter of condolence is such a good lifeskill that it's a really useful exercise, regardless of her feelings about the Queen.

The art of responding appropriately to bereaved relatives is increasingly rare.

Writing about a current issue is also imo more relevant to the children who can discuss it, it's something they are all experiencing. More inclusive than where I went on holiday, what I got for Christmas, father's day etc

Just let the school get on with it

At school we all wrote a letter to Father Christmas.
We did wedding cards to send to Charles and Diana.
My dc wrote letters to the local MP about a housing development

It's a writing exercise.

Ffs, save your faux anger for something worthwhile.

We did exactly the same thing in 1965 for Winston Churchill. I'm giggling imagining my mother (a socialist) bowling up to the school demanding me being excused from such a task.

Oh for gods sake, it's just an exercise so they can practice writing and you are being massively OTT about it.

It isn't a demonstration of their grief, it is just a piece of schoolwork based on a national event. Do you get annoyed if they are asked to write about what they did for Christmas?

This will be a good lesson. Don't be that parent. There is plenty to be said that isn't mournful.
Dear XXXX
I was saddened (see? Not heartbroken) to hear of the passing of the Queen. The Queen gave unwavering service to this country for X years. I was moved by her address to the nation during covid etc etc.
Easy.

IF this is true - You're making a mountain out of a mole hill. If you don't want your child to do it just get them to write a letter about something else as a piece of homework and send a note in saying you're not comfortable with the activity. The teachers will roll their eyes, but I suspect they already do 😉

Writing a condolence letter isn't being forced to grieve. Surely it would b extremely unusual for a primary class to have several children whose parents had died and the teacher would be aware of that and reasonable to assume handle sensitively

Making an issue where none needs to be imo

It isn't "performing grief". I've written a number of letters of condolence about people I'm not personally grieving for, it's just to support the people who are. It's good practice given that the chances are that they will need to write letters like that as time goes on.

Maybe you could ask for their next writing task to be to write a letter to your MP to ask for more funding for the school. Most schools are looking at having to make redundancies. When your child ends up in a class of 60 then you will have something to complain about!

Just see it as a writing exercise. I actually think it is a good skill to learn, to write a letter of condolence. As others have said in years to come she may have to write one to someone about a person who has died she is not close to or liked. So maybe explain that to her

Exactly this.

It's an opportunity for children to practice formal writing and using an historical event is an excellent way to engage young people.

It doesn't matter if you are grieving or not. That's not the point.

I'm not royalist bit it's not up your your dd to choose what homework she does. As others have said, it's a good chance to practice letter writing.

I don't think something about such a sensitive topic as death should be forced on the DC. How many of them will have had recent deaths in the family or a terminally ill family member, perhaps a grandparent? Probably a fair few.

Writing a condolence letter doesn't entail writing about death, beyond perhaps one sentence saying you are sorry the person has died. Most of the letter will be about what the person was and did in life.

I disagree. People should not be made to conform, it is unhealthy. Only doormats do not understand this.

It is an important principle that we choose how we feel towards people.

I would have no problem with compulsory homework about the Queen, but not this.

YABVU Regardless of who has died, I think it is an excellent idea. It will teach the children how to write letters of condolence and by marking the event, it will give the children a sense of being part of history regardless of your political views.

@wheredidIleavemystyle

FWIW, I have objected, politely, to my child being asked to write to an organisation I don't support. The school were fine and you are allowed to ask for consideration in such matters. I have also asked for my child to be excused from signing a song I consider racist. Again the school were fine.

It is more about how you ask than what you ask - the school deals with lots of awful parents who go and shout - a polite request is fine. Teachers very much understand that parents are trying to raise their kids well and that parents have different views about some things. What matters is respect towards the teachers.

You don't need to be grieving to be able to write a short letter of thanks, acknowledging someone who has served our country for 70 years. It's a mark of respect so everyone can join in as it doesn't require any personal feelings etc