How long was your teenager an arse hole for?

[Stripeystrip201]

DS is 13 and a half. He's had a complete personality transplant in the last few months. Full Kevin and Perry. I miss my lovely boy so much! I've no idea how to parent this imposter. How long does it tend to last?

16 and I can finally see light at the end if the tunnel. I genuinely thought she would kill me at various points over the last 3 years, but finally there are glimpses of my lovely girl, though she can still be quite mean.

19 year old is getting worse (and that’s saying something.)

15 year old was horrendous at 10-11 when they started puberty. There is a tiny light at the end of the tunnel now.

They have bad days odd moody hours - tiredness anxiety usually driving that - but generally they are fine.

My parents always made out we suddenly turned into "Kevins"- but I don't think we did though I do think they lost a lot of interest in us - the younger the child more interest they have.

It's interesting because I see them doing exactly same to teenage GC they used to be close to - everything they do is wrong constant non stop criticism and then wonder why they start to avoid them and when do get defensive.

I let you know when it's stopped. I'll check back in, in about 20 years!!!

Mine is the same age @Stripeystrip201and we...had words today.

I don't know where my lovely boy has gone, he spent the better part of an hour stropping about rather than making his bed and picking up some dirty underwear, and then the second his brother came home decided to wind him up.

His twin (god help me!) is much better. But clearly it's only a matter of time!

My 15 year old is about 85/15 in terms of being an arsehole. When it's the 15%, she's brilliant to be around.

DD13 has always been extremely challenging but she is neurodivergent so we don’t know what is “ normal” teenage stuff & what’s related to her “ condition” ( sorry can’t think how to describe it). I have to do a lot of walking away!!

I’ve found they start to emerge from complete arseholes around 19yo and takes until 22 for the normal human to be complete. It’s a long hard slog with teens and it is normal to fantasise about murdering them at times.

12/13 - 17 (girl). Still has her moments but definitely better.

It's been a real rollercoaser but I'm still here to tell the tale!!

Daughter, never went through this stage. At 13/14 her best friends mother died, so she knew mothers were not always forever. So I think that gave her a perspective not all at that age have. But I wouldn't wish this for any child.

she also retained her sense of humour. So when she disappeared to her bedroom,,which she did a lot, she'd tell me not to worry, it was only a phase she was going through, with a wry grin. at 52 she's a joy and a much needed help.

hang in there, it's normal for kids to go through this, I find. They have to break the "apron strings", and the easiest way for them to do that, is to dislike their mothers. They dont, I think, dislike them, they just have to persuade themselves they do in order to break free.

Didn’t really have much trouble from my 2 ds. DD on the other hand was absolutely horrific, I took dogs abuse from her right up until she left for Uni. And when she returned for the covid lockdown, she slotted right back into her old ways. Sorry OP, her teenage years persist and she is 22.

Awful for about seven years, both of them.
So lovely when they came out the other side.

Ds 12-15
Dd started at 14 and still a arse at 16

Ds has just turned 17 and has always been lovely, not a trace of bother. He's funny, kind, affectionate, thoughtful, responsible and trustworthy. Maybe we're just lucky!

Thanks for the replies and solidarity! Looks like we're in for a rough ride! He's been so easy up until now, literally never once had a tantrum, just an absolute pleasure so this has come as a shock!

Pavlova, that made me laugh 😂 mine is 20, home from Uni for the summer. Lovely to see them, be lovely to see the car packed up and taking them back.

My son was a nightmare from 13 but at 16 gradually became nice again. He's now 17 and nice ti have around. DD age 14 is so awful that it's like living with a dementor. She sucks the joy out of our home and I hate it. It's very sad to think of the lovely happy little girl she once was.

Mine is about to turn 17 and has become much less of an arsehole over the last few months. Full arsehole-ness lasted from 13-16.5 I’d say

Still is at 21, but she's doing well and is settled so it could be worse.

For mine, it was 18 or 19 before they went from full time ass hat to part time ass hat. Then it tapered off with only occasional outbursts of jackassery until their early 20s. My youngest is now 18, so I’m finally coming out the other end of it. I still say to this day that teens are way harder to parent than even the most stubborn, tantrum throwing, sister biting feral toddler.

DD 17.5- 19 were the worst (still 19 at mo but getting better)
DS is 14 & at mo fine.
3xmore dc to go though

DD15. No improvement. She used to be lovely but now is so unpleasant I have to choose my battles otherwise I would be arguing with her all the while. I was told last night by my DD that myself and my DH are awful parents. We are so strict she is moving out. Had to smile as when I said, ok. You can move out, she said I have changed my mind. I would miss the dog!

They are all different
No1 DS - About 17-18
No2 DS about 18
No3 DS about 19
No4 DS is 13.5 and pretty much a joy...but I have my hard hat ready. I pick my battles and drink wine and run to take the stress away .

It's hard and relentless and you do wonder when it will end, but it will.

19 and still a self absorbed twat!
On the plus side DS2 is 15 and still a lovable boy.

OP, I feel your pain. My DS 13 has morphed into a right git!