Is it ever ok to critique the cooking?

[Glitteringapples]

I’d really interested to know peoples view on this?

If a family member makes a meal and there are elements of it you didn’t enjoy, is it ok to voice your polite criticism so they can improve the meal for next time or is it kinder to just thank the cook for the meal and leave it?

But your opinion about the food doesn't meen that it need improvement for next time. The cook might like it as it is or the other people eating it might. If it was a dish that I really didn't like I would be honest about it, but if he's complaing so often about your food I would tell him to cook his own food. It's not fun cooking for someone who doesn't appreciate it.

I don’t agree at all. If someone doesn’t do
the hoovering, they don’t get to criticise the one doing the work.

If family members want their preferences indulged, they can take on the task themselves. Or just be grateful that someone else has done it, even if it’s not to their exact specification.

He sounds like an entitled arse tbh..."cooked with love" 🙄.

This has echoes of "It's not enough for you just to serve me, you also need to do it with a smile on your face and pretend that life holds no greater privilege for you than to cater to my whims and my ego. Because I'm worth it!"

Three or four times a WEEK??! Tell him to fuck off and cook for himself. Seriously, stop cooking for this rude person. Carry on cooking but just don't make enough for him.

I was going to say it was fine - but I probably say something once every couple of months. My DH can put more spice in than the rest of us like, and we have to remind him as if he makes the same recipe repeatedly he will unthinkingly increase the spice each time until eventually our heads blow off

If I criticised even once per week he would tell me to get stuffed.

He should take it like criticism for a job role and not take it too personally, of course

My DH does all the hoovering because I hate it. If he misses a spot and I point it out, nicely, he says oh yeah, thanks, then hoovers it. It doesn't have to be a big deal.
Likewise, if I forget to clean a bit of the bathroom and he mentions it, that's fine. I find it helpful.

And for food, bloody hell. I like making things my family enjoy eating and vice versa. How miserable to just put up with food you don't like. Family mealtimes should be a joy.

Are you criticising each other several times every week?

I manage to make food that my children enjoy. And without the need to tell them to criticise everything to get to that point. There’s no need for master chef style critique or further direction. They will enthusiastically say when they really like something and be polite otherwise.

Whereas my former SC are being brought up (by both parents) to criticise everything. Nothing is good enough for them. You can spend hours making a cake and they’ll just tell you it’s not good enough. They are incredibly rude and it’s unacceptable. But that’s the model they see in their parents, who will just defend if saying they’re teaching them to speak their mind. Their father is a hyper critical nightmare - who can barely bloody cook, so he has a bloody cheek criticising food made for him.

The difference is enormous. Critical diners do not make for joyful dining experiences. For anyone. It certainly made my children miserable at mealtimes, having the food arrive to hear everything that was wrong with it. Stops you enjoying your food and is just a dreadful way to treat someone who has made the effort to cook for you. Over time, you decide you can’t be bothered trying because nothing is ever good enough. So you may as well make the minimum effort - since you’ll be criticised regardless.

however, polite the critique is (or the critiquer thinks it is), people should not be looking to correct everyone they live with.

Is it really criticism of you mention you prefer say mince with a bit more kick -else it is a fairly bland meal?

If you don't say anything you then get bland mince for ever over something you'd actually like (and I prefer no mince but will eat it if cooked for me)

DH freely critiques mine, but doesn't take it at all well if anyone does it to him!
Context is everything but would vere away from criticism

My OH is a professional chef at a place with silly 'stars.' My mother was a professional chef and my uncle who visits regularly is a pastry chef...criticizing food in my house is common place cause everyone is a freaking expert.

The three chefs all critique when I cook but I just roll my eyes because I know they can't help it, it's their passion. Although they try to be restrained and nice about it cause they like having other people cook for them rather than always being left to do it.

I think it really depends on your relationship to the person, how sensitive they are and the tone you use to critique?

Critique. You mean criticise? Only if you want to do the cooking yourself 😄

I think it really depends. Someone put a lot of effort to make something, and not particularly into getting a feed back, it's best to just not say anything negative.

But if they asked how it was, and genuinely wanting to improve , then yes.

We do it all the time. Mind you, we both also work in a field where giving and receiving criticism is the norm.

In order for my inlaws to not say "needs more salt" I would have to serve salt on a bed of salt with extra salt on the side. At which point I assume they would say "needs more pepper".

As somebody who would be more on the side of your inlaws,having grown up in a house where seasoning (and texture, colour, flavour and any enjoyment) was a weird, foreign thing, there's a way around that.

Maldon sea salt flakes. If they can see them, feel them and taste them (and add more), it can convince them they've had more salt throughout the meal.

My husband developed this incredibly irritating habit of asking “are you pleased with it?” every time I cooked. I eventually snapped “this is not Masterchef, you are not Marcus Wareing, and the only acceptable comment from you is “that was delicious, thank you”!”

He doesn’t say it any more. Apparently my cooking is delicious.

It sounds to me that its a problem because he does it so often. This would really annoy me. DH critiques my cooking when something is bad. Usually prompted by me saying “wow, i guess i wont be cooking this again!” And he will agree. I do the same with him. But we do this maybe once every 6 months or so.
3-4x a week sounds like he just likes to complain and tries to find a reason for it.

If you're doing all the cooking then he has no business with any critique, ever really.

If you'd done a joint effort on a meal, then you could discuss what could be better. Or if you do some meals and he does others, then you could have a discussion about stuff. But if he is just eating what you provide, the only acceptable response is thank you.

How would he like it if you critiqued his sex moves? Spoil the moment wouldn't it.

Criticism/helpful comments should take place later.

It depends.

New recipe tried on family I will ask if it can go on the make again list. Empty plates usually tell me everything I need to know.

If you are invited to someone's house then no. So that means I have to eat mil tough as old boots beef and say nothing. But leaving most of it on the plate speaks volumes.