Food bank Fussiness

[VeronicaFranklin]

I volunteer at a local food bank on a Saturday morning, recently due to cost of living we've had more and more people using it.

All sorts of people, some working families, some exclusively on benefits, some elderly, retired due to ill health and some homeless / alcohol/ drug addiction. There really is no face to food poverty and it's very sad to see so many people struggling to feed themselves and their families. I feel glad there are places people can turn to if they need help...

However...

We give people a sheet when they arrive, they tick a number of items (depending on if they are a family/couple/single person) they wish to have, I go off to pack up their items.

More recently I've had people complain if they wanted something we had a previous week but don't have this week, i.e. requesting Frosties and we only have Cornflakes, or Semi skimmed milk but we only have skimmed. One lady said to me on Sat when I didn't have the soup she liked ' well it just isn't good enough'...

Also people arguing with us if say someone has received a certain brand (donated) and they haven't. For example someone got 'Asda's own washing up liquid and saw someone had got 'Fairy' brand washing up liquid and started complaining it wasn't fair...

I just feel really disappointed. Everyone is entitled to help and most people are very thankful but we rely solely on donations and charity surplus to run the food bank, many of the volunteers give up their time to help even when their circumstances aren't much better than those using the food bank and we often buy items to bring to cover the shortfall in donations especially toiletries such as sanitary towels and toothpaste, but I can't help feeling recently like people are being ungrateful.

Is it unreasonable if you're getting something for free to feel you're entitled to complain? How would you handle it?

Yes, I get this. But I guess they also need to be told "well, thems the breaks - you don't get to pick and choose" - people need to be (politely) called out on rude behaviour even if they have issues imo.
Another poster said this thread has made them think about donating more branded stuff but I personally would rather donate 6 bottles of Aldi washing up liquid than 1 bottle of fairy. Im sure most people think like that.

EndTheMonacyNow

Out of interest do you mind me asking how you found out about volunteering at a food bank? It's something I'd be very interested in doing.

Wow. Good luck in finding your next volunteer for your pet project. By the time you've sifted out all of those who aren't actually Jesus Christ reincarnated or Mother Theresa on a good day, there will be no-one left but you. So go ahead...

Its perfectly clear that the OP was venting anonymously in a non-identifiable way. She is the one giving up her time for free. Some empathy towards her might be in order. She is not subject to fiduciary duties, she is unlikely to be sacked, she won't have had advanced training. We all know that these are challenging times but as I say, some empathy towards those people actually doing something more useful than lecturing on piety on an internet forum might be in order.

Ironic that someone preaching empathy cannot practice empathy themselves.

You've already told me that, i think, and I've already answered you? I do think its better that people who could damage the charity are put off from volunteering, for the reasons I've explained. While there may not be a huge surplus of volunteers, nor are there huge numbers of volunteers who criticise clients on public forums, so putting such people off/ terminating their role would make a negligible difference to volunteer resources.
And you are wrong about representing the charity. Volunteers engaged in the work of the charity are very much seen as representing it, both in the eyes of the clients and of the charity itself, which is generally made clear at induction.

You think it's ok to complain because there is only Asda's own washing up liquid? Or because no one donated your favourite soup this week? Are you serious? I wouldn't complain about that in a supermarket let alone if I was being given this stuff for free

It's just more of the same sort of entitlement isn't it. Volunteers should be honoured to give their time up for free and so should just accept any sort of abuse they may receive without question.

Maybe if the person being referred to read this they would realise what an arse they are being

5128gap While there may not be a huge surplus of volunteers, nor are there huge numbers of volunteers who criticise clients on public forums, so putting such people off/ terminating their role would make a negligible difference to volunteer resources.

I actually think theres quite a societal benefit in people pointing out that making micro-criticisms of what you are given by free by volunteers isn't acceptable. As pointed out, many people using food banks might be suffering from MH conditions, anxiety, poor upbringing, stress, etc and a little bit of guidance, anonymously done by make the difference between them making a volunteer feel awful and a more pleasant transaction.

And before I get asked the inevitable "Do you give up your time to volunteer", I volunteer in a group with autistic adults. There are benefits of being clear but firm.

merely judging people on it and refusing help unless they change their ways is going to end up hurting the most vulnerable

No-one is "refusing help" to anyone, stop going OTT 🙄

All @VeronicaFranklin is quite rightly bringing up is how entitled some people are.

Except the people who say that they'd tel them to go elsewhere. Or go to the supermarket or whatever.

I agree. But I think it needs to be done as part of an agreed organisational approach which might include stock responses, acceptable client behaviour policy and so forth. Some of the suggested come backs on here will do nothing but provoke the inevitable client complaint that will require full investigation and response, diverting resources from the main business of the charity.

When people are at rock bottom small things can be blown out of proportion, and normal politeness and perspective can be lost. This can manifest itself in socially unacceptable ways and we should try to remain patient and continue to endeavour to ensure they get the help they need. There but for the grace of god go I.

Some people that used food banks are entitled, rude and thoroughly ungrateful. Some may have manipulated the system in the first place and should not be there depriving those in genuine need. If you are truly destitute, the wrong flavour cereal or a different brand of soup is still a god send and some appreciation wouldn't go amiss.

I think both responses are true at the same time here.

When people are demanding or difficult, it is usually because they are sick, frightened or under significant stress.

So they need to learn not to be that way. Having issues doesn't excuse you from being a member of society. If you're willing to accept social goodwill, you can damn well rein in the arsiness for a bit.

The wrong flavour cereal that your child refuses to eat is a problem.
I can eat anything, and I have learned to. My children were not so willing when very young.

I do not need to go to a foodbank although if they had existed in the past I would have. I have been properly poor and having enough food is a real issue.
If I thought I would encounter some of the attitudes here where you are expected to be grateful for some free food, I would not go. I would have to be starving before I would submit myself to that humiliation.

I think YABU in the precise way that you put your question: 'if you're getting something for free to feel you're entitled to complain?' I don't think that food bank users should feel that they are beggars at the gate who have no right to any preferences. However YANBU to think that people should not be rude and take out their frustrations on people serving them- whether food bank volunteers or retail workers. People certainly do all too frequently take out their bad moods on staff in shops; and food bank users are likely both to be under even greater stress than the general public, and to include a higher proportion of people with mental health problems that may affect their behaviour.

I think it would be a good idea to put up notices reminding people to be kind to the staff, and that the food bank relies on donations, so can't always guarantee that people's preferred items will be there.

You misunderstand my point. I'm not suggesting that you will just put off those who might want to criticise clients on public forums. It's your general attitude to all volunteers that is off putting. You seem to think you are doing those who give up their free time without payment for charitie should be honoured and that you are doing them a favour that will be rescinded if they dare to have an opinion you don't like.

OP you're doing a good thing and it's fine to let off steam every now and again.
I'm also amazed at the people commenting that have the luxury of training for volunteers and the possibility of revisiting. Maybe some of these commentators need to realise that not all foodbanks/charities are the same as those they have experienced.

Being in poverty is seen by psychologists as being an ongoing trauma excuses and sanctimonious claptrap.
Give them a few foreign holidays a year I have not had a foreign holiday in 5 years, I buy supermarket own brand washing liquid as its alot cheaper as I budget within my means and I have the daily stress of looking after an autsitc son - yet I still have manners. Stop making excuses for people who are entitled.

Because food bank users should all be pathetically grateful and doff their caps to milady. No basic manners not being entitled would do and not yelling at volunteers because you don't get the brand of food you want

The issue is not about having an opinion. It is about behaving unethically. And the OP is behaving unethically.

In your opinion. To your ethics. Not hers, not mine.
Your ethics are your own and are of little interest to anyone else.

Well said

Good point. Maybe I'll help fewer people but provide them something fancy instead

@LongLivedQueen Most charities have requirements of volunteers and that includes behaving ethically. Just because you are giving your time for free does not mean you can do whatever you want.
And not criticising on a public forum the vulnerable people you are trying to help would be a very usual requirement of volunteers. Because most charities take ethical behaviour seriously.

There are some rather extreme responses to OP here. It’s understandable that folks will be upset if what their DC will eat isn’t available - but wanting branded washing up liquid? I haven’t bought fairy for years. I’d be horrified if I thought people were rude about what I’ve donated.
I think putting up posters reminding people that donors have generously given the items and it isn’t always possible to have a certain brand is a good idea.

To you. Luckily we don't live under your rule.