Food bank Fussiness

[VeronicaFranklin]

I volunteer at a local food bank on a Saturday morning, recently due to cost of living we've had more and more people using it.

All sorts of people, some working families, some exclusively on benefits, some elderly, retired due to ill health and some homeless / alcohol/ drug addiction. There really is no face to food poverty and it's very sad to see so many people struggling to feed themselves and their families. I feel glad there are places people can turn to if they need help...

However...

We give people a sheet when they arrive, they tick a number of items (depending on if they are a family/couple/single person) they wish to have, I go off to pack up their items.

More recently I've had people complain if they wanted something we had a previous week but don't have this week, i.e. requesting Frosties and we only have Cornflakes, or Semi skimmed milk but we only have skimmed. One lady said to me on Sat when I didn't have the soup she liked ' well it just isn't good enough'...

Also people arguing with us if say someone has received a certain brand (donated) and they haven't. For example someone got 'Asda's own washing up liquid and saw someone had got 'Fairy' brand washing up liquid and started complaining it wasn't fair...

I just feel really disappointed. Everyone is entitled to help and most people are very thankful but we rely solely on donations and charity surplus to run the food bank, many of the volunteers give up their time to help even when their circumstances aren't much better than those using the food bank and we often buy items to bring to cover the shortfall in donations especially toiletries such as sanitary towels and toothpaste, but I can't help feeling recently like people are being ungrateful.

Is it unreasonable if you're getting something for free to feel you're entitled to complain? How would you handle it?

Oh give over 🙄

How would I feel? I'd feel fucking ashamed of myself if I thought for one minute it was acceptabl to complain at volunteers giving me free stuff that they weren't giving me the cereal I prefer or brand names instead of generic!

I've been in that queue and I've been the volunteer too, and the one thing I know is that people are the same no matter what their circumstances, some are just fucking arseholes no matter what side of the table they are on, and wil continue to be so whether they make the swap. And most are perfectly nice and polite people no matter what side they are on.

i should imagine this is the issue, people are tightening their belts,
and thus tightening the belt of the food bank donation.
if you cant afford it you are hardly going to donate more than you can afford.
i dont always donate but i try and see what is on their list
however the argument is around attitude - no doubt caused by stress
rise above it, it is not aimed at the volunteer

Because the food bank is set up to help these people. You can't drive them away for not being grateful enough, or they won't get help. There are lots of explanations on the thread about why people might behave like that, particularly those who are in greatest need, and those are the people that the charity needs to reach. If they had lots of other sources of support, they wouldn't be there. I dont' think "teaching them a lesson" is what the charity is set up for.

it doesn't mean that rudeness is acceptable or fine. But there are reasons that it might be happening, and merely judging people on it and refusing help unless they change their ways is going to end up hurting the most vulnerable.

Moreover, it is an attitude that then spreads, so that more and more people start feeling judgemental, that there are deserving poor people and undeserving poor people, or that people only deserve support if they act the right way. This is often against what the charities stand for, and doesn't make for a cohesive or compassionate society, when people are pigeon-holed like this.

People do need to learn to be non-judgemental in many situations in order to have any effect. It doesn't mean that you think the behaviours are acceptable, or that you would behave like that, or that you wish they didn't happen, or that they will never change. it just means you need to approach the situation in this moment, right now, with an attitude of non-judgement, if you have any hope of actually helping or encouraging further change.

Foodbanks are going to have to start toughening up and being there for people who actually need them IMO, rather than letting anyone come. Because of course a lot of people are going to like the idea of free food as a bonus. A lot of the people going there at the moment don't need to, they're just taking advantage of the free food to save a few quid.

I know because my uncle's doing it.

Wow - this is one of the maddest, most entitled things I've ever heard!

No - it's really NOT ok to complain about something you are getting for free and a service that volunteers are giving up their time to support - without them there would be no food bank.

so because you know one person doing it, that means lots of people are? I don't think that's logical.

Of course there are some people who are frauds. But I don't think it is so easy for people to repeatedly use food banks when they don't need it.

The OPs goady post has in fact had the desired effect and got people talking about all the entitled and fraudulent behaviour they've ever witnessed by poor people. Very effective.

I don't know. It's made me think about popping a bottle of fairy in to the collection point and a few branded bits.
On previous threads there has been lots of debate over donating volume of value stuff vs a few nicer bits.

I know right! I think some posters just say any old shit to be contrary 🙄

Shocked by the amount of people thinking along the lines of "oh its embarassing going to a food bank so give them a break".... emm no.

Volunteering like this is amazing and if you treat them with respect you absoloutely deserve it back and having to use a food bank does not give anyone the right to be disrespectful to you and personally if I would just be reminding people that they could try a different local food bank the next time

They stopped allowing most GF food on prescription when it all become much more widely available - and because of the cost of individual items when dispensed on prescription

No. I'm suggesting that volunteers who can't represent their charity appropriately on public forums are harmful and should not volunteer. This will not result in having no volunteers. As I said, the vast majority of volunteers are fantastic and the charity would still have their contribution. Interestingly, the inappropriate volunteers are not conducive to a thriving volunteer team, as they tend to create an atmosphere of negativity and lead to unfortunate stereotypes of judgemental do gooders that put other people off joining. Charities are trying hard to move away from this image of volunteers and posts like the OP undo a fair bit of the progress.

"If you want to pick and choose then go to the shop."
"Oh, and if you want someone who isn't going to judge your appalling then go to church and see if Jesus is in."

I'm not sure what do you mean by “non judgmental”. If you think a behaviour is unacceptable or wish it didn't happen then by definition you are "judging" the behaviour! It is not the job of volunteers in food banks to “encourage change” in behaviour. They are volunteering to give food not manage behaviour!

*appalling behaviour

Oh, and if you want someone who isn't going to judge your appalling behaviour then go to church and see if Jesus is in."

Oh, I am definitely borrowing this phrase! 😂

or you could read and honestly consider the point of view that people have expressed - they aren't saying oh it's OK to be like that; they've given reasons why it might happen, and how to deal with it. Without those volunteers, there might well still be a foodbank, but one that helps people more effectively. Even those volunteers might still be really wanted, if they took on board some of the training, which is there to help them. Change is possible.

Telling people to go elsewhere is really not going to help them. Yes the volunteer might feel better, but you aren't really going to "teach them a lesson" to be more polite. It is still making judgements about how someone should behave, and that isn't really the role of the volunteer. Abuse or violence or illegal behaviour is different, and I'm not condoning that. Nor am I saying rudeness or entitlement is 'acceptable' as in fine/Ok/not a problem. It isn't. But it happens, and needs to be dealt with in a way that will mean that people in need still end up being helped, which is what the charity exists for.

I don't think it is so easy for people to repeatedly use food banks when they don't need it

Unfortunately it can be, especially in the type of foodbanks who trust people not to abuse the system instead of requiring a referral

The very concept of doing this can involve a certain naivety, leaving volunteers ill prepared for some of what comes through the door, and while it suits the more entitled just fine it's not always a recipe for success

No - it's really NOT ok to complain about something you are getting for free and a service that volunteers are giving up their time to support - without them there would be no food bank

As I mentioned in my earlier post a lot of the service users that come the the food service where I volunteer have MH problems, addiction problems, learning difficulties etc. Some of them are not grateful and are rude. I wouldn't be surprised if they are the ones who are most in need of help. I don't know what their stories are and I'm not a psychiatrist so I'm not making it my business to understand why they are like they are. I'd like them to be polite and happy with the service but I'm not volunteering for me I'm volunteering because I think it's nice to be able to feed people in a supportive and non-judgemental way.

I very much do. That's the whole point to highlight to them that the choices are not an option for them so to stop being an arse.

*Wow - this is one of the maddest, most entitled things I've ever heard!

No - it's really NOT ok to complain about something you are getting for free and a service that volunteers are giving up their time to support - without them there would be no food bank.*

Exactly. It's free, don't complain that it may not be the exact thing you would have chosen for yourself, because you aren't actually paying for it. Be grateful volunteers give up their free time to help out. They don't have to.

Trussell Trust only allows 3 visits to a foodbank a year. They run most foodbank. Independent foodbank has its own policies.

People volunteering at a food bank are not “representing” a charity. They are helping to give out food at a food bank. I could be wrong, but I don't think there's a huge surplus of volunteers for food banks at the moment so fewer volunteers could have a very negative impact. I find it quite ironic that you are concerned that OP's attitude could put people off donating to charity because I think your attitude could put people off volunteering.

I think in the moment, you can accept that the person is deserving of help, and their words or behaviour don't change that. Accepting that behaviour or words are non-ideal is not the same as judging the person, I think. And by 'changing behaviour', I am thinking much more broadly, about helping the person to be in a better position generally. It's not so much that the volunteers have a role to specifically change behaviour, no. But they're part of a process of helping someone who is in a bad place, and for that person to be able to make any changes in their life circumstances, whatever sort of changes, they need to be met where they are now., whether you agree with the way they live their life or not. It's not a view everyone holds, of course, but how I try to see things.

Don't judge people until you've walked a day in their shoes

But how do you know who has and hasn't 'walked a day in their shoes'

My upbringing was Victorian by MN standards. Large family, shared bedrooms (5 DC in a 3 bed house). No branded anything, pretty much ever for food or clothes and shoes.

My dad was a striking miner so we received food parcels and Christmas presents from German and Polish miners. Loads of unrecognisable food in the days well before Lidl and Aldi introduced us rye bread, tinned pate and giant jars of gherkins. Christmas presents that weren't what we might want, but were something to open.

I've also had periods of significant poverty as an adult due to business failure and debt.

It's taught me to be grateful for what I have and what is on offer. Nearly all the time, something is better than nothing, and most things are absolutely fine, even if it's not your preferred brand. The alternative is that if people want to start picking and choosing, they'll have to give people less, or help fewer people.

Obviously I have my preferences, but being able to have all we want and it all to be exactly right is a luxury and sometimes we have to accept that we can't have the luxury option and need to make do.