New job - famous (ish) husband - want to work anonymously - name change question

[WantToWorkAnonymously]

So my husband is well known locally (politics), I want to apply for a new job (in the state sector) but don’t want everyone asking about him/moaning about him to me/thinking about me in a certain way because of links to him.

I want to revert to my maiden name before I apply, can I do this? Can I just give them my maiden name but my bank account has my married name will that matter?
And my NI, forms of ID (passport, driving licence) are in my married name, assume this may cause a problem?

I don’t want to abandon my married name totally, just for work purposes to remain as anonymous as I can for as long as I can - won’t lie if someone asks me directly!

Just want to be just me to start with.

Minister without portfolio by any chance?

I wouldn't bring it up in your application. I can't see that people will immediately know you are his wife - how unusual is your name?

Discuss it with HR if you get offered the role but I would just phrase it that you wish to be known by x at work. I wouldn't even mention why just say you wish to be known by your maiden name but payroll/ID etc will be under your married name.

I think you are at risk of making it a bigger deal then it is.

Politely though, you don’t know.

he could be the health secretary and I’m talking about applying to be a nurse in the nhs.
or education secretary and I’m applying to be a teacher.

the senior leaders doing the interviews would know his name.

I used to work with a woman, husband was an mp...she kept her name and kept telling everyone etc who her husband was...she was awful....a sort of anna wintour and edina monsoon parody.....just vile.......i always felt sorry for the husband.....he would ring me each day to make sure she only smoked her 3 cigarette allowance....!!

For DBS check you will need to declare any names you've been known by and over what periods of time.
References will be taken up on the name you were known at the time.
I've never changed my surname but you can't seem to pretend that is the case if you have used another name

Yes, if you get to interview stage you can explain to recruitment team then.

Lots of female academic staff are known by the maiden names after marriage. Some change their surname , some don't for obvious reasons. It's not a big deal.

I was thinking the rather lovely Tom Tugendhat😊

I work in a field where it helps to keep your maiden name so that people can link you to your previous work. About half of the married women have changed their names out side of work but would never use anything except their maiden names in work, half didn't change their names. It's totally standard to just use your maiden name for work in some places.

Plenty of my colleagues do this (charity sector). Married name with friends and family, maiden name at work. I think in their case it's more about wanting to maintain the profile / network built up before marriage, but same result.

I know lots of women who use their maiden name for work, I think it's quite commonplace.

I would apply in your maiden name and then explain that you use your maiden name for work, but official name is your married name for the paperwork but, and then day to day go back to using your maiden name.

Fine to use your maiden name as a working name. Many women do this.

If your surname is Reese-Mogg YANBU

You say the 'state sector' . Not sure but if the role is civil service or local government I think you may have to declare it.

If you are Johnnie Mercer’s wife can I just say I Stan you??!!

Thanks for the replies, I think I will apply in my maiden name and go from there, may not come to anything anyway.

😂

But would MrsRM be allowed by Mr RM to work? Surely she has enough to do keeping house and being pregnant, not to mention she would have to be bought some shoes if she was going to step outside the house………….

yup brazen it out I'd say. You are who you are. Don't pre-judge.

Definitely apply in your maiden name. If you get the job you just take your ID and say these are all in my married name but professionally I use my maiden name.

In such cases I would apply with my maiden name and once interview is done I would explain to HR that you want to be known by your maiden name to avoid bias in either direction due to political affiliation (your husbands - not yours). I would imagine this is a protected characteristic or close enough that they would understand and documentation would be in your married name between HR and yourself but job wise you would be known by maiden name. I’m not sure how it would play out when (predictably) people learn the truth though.

I use a different name for work than I do privately. I applied in my ‘real’ name and then asked to be known as ‘chosen’ name. HR know my full details but other people I work with don’t.

In your case - with a recognisable local name - I think the other way around is probably a better idea. Apply in your chosen name, then explain to HR afterwards. If it’s a teaching post, where they’ll do references / safer recruiting checks before interview, I’d put a short line in your application simply stating that ‘legally, my name is…, but I prefer to be known as… professionally’.

good luck!

If your surname is Reese-Mogg YANBU

Barf. I'd rather Nutribullet my own foot than marry him.

I work in my maiden name and get paid in my married name. So long as you have your marriage cert etc you’ll be fine.

good luck with the interview.

I use my maiden name at work. Salary goes into bank account in my married name.
I know many women who use their maiden name at work for various reasons. No problems.

No issues with using maiden name. I imagine HR would be quite sympathetic anyway, but if it is senior role in a directly relevant organisation to your husband's portfolio there may well be things they need as an organisation to declare to audit committees and such like.