How does Charles remain so calm and composed amidst his own grief?

[asblindasabat]

His speech yesterday was excellent.

I know he kinda has to, but how does he just keep going? I don’t know how he didn’t cry doing that speech yesterday.

If it was my parent I don’t think I could do any of it. I think I’d just be a mess.

Obviously it's a deeply sad time - but she was 96. It's unusual for a man his age to still have a parent alive - she would have been ill for a long time, he knew it was coming.

People on here are comparing it to a child dying - this is just not comparable.

Being kept busy and distracted somewhat will be key. He won't have much time to just sit and think right now. He will also have been prepping for this, and quite likely knew the time was coming. Again, this will help - especially with an elderly parent.

When my FIL died we were very busy. It was the begging if the covid lockdown, there was so much to do figuring it the new rules, etc. plus both dh and I were dealing with our work changing hugely in lockdowns. During the day there wasn't much time to just sit and contemplate. So, much of the time we both felt very composed and calm.

It's not necessarily a good thing though. It did catch up with me at a later date (following two more close deaths) to an extent. Even then though, I could remain composed when I needed to be,

He's a thoroughly repressed man. He has learned to repress his emotions for these events. It's not a good thing to be

He's a thoroughly repressed man. He has learned to repress his emotions for these events. It's not a good thing to be

not unusual though. I’m the same. Learned it through years of a childhood where I was expected to be a good girl and any show of emotion was a tantrum or misbehaviour.

see it everyday if you look.

Fwiw, although I didn't cry and get upset at the time of our more recent bereavements it isn't because I'm repressed or emotionally stunted. It's just that it's not how some people deal with grief and they prefer to keep things in check until,they are behind closed doors. I think that's very normal for many people.

I think he called her Mummy at the jubilee to please the crowd.

See I don’t see that he has repressed any elitism. He has shown it.

Repressing emotions and never feeling them isn’t good. But being able to keep your reactions to your emotions to a minimum as long you get some way to express them at a later time is something people do all the time.

We have no idea what he is like behind closed doors. He very well may be expressing his emotions in between public engagements. I worked between mums death and her funeral. I also expressed my emotions. Just not at the same time.

People do it with anger all the time and it’s entirely appropriate.

Elitism? That should be emotion 🙄

I agree with others, by the time your parents are 90+, most are mentally prepared for their passing.

Both my parents died, quite close together. I'm an only child, no other family, so all the formalities were left to me. 'Not coping' wasn't an option. My parents were very elderly, it wasn't entirely unexpected.

My beloved dad died recently. Since then I’ve become so less tolerant of people who can’t hold it together.

Also people were coming to visit us & the phone ringing right from the start. Crying wasn’t an option.

It’s been nearly 2 months and I’ve not cried in front of anyone not even dh. Doesn’t mean I didn’t care or that my dad meant nothing to me. I don’t want people to see me at my most vulnerable.

The King looks sad to me. Camilla looks stricken.

My dad died in January and I haven't cried in front of anyone, only in private. My mum needs me to stay strong to support her. DH lost his dad a few weeks ago and he has been the same even though he is more emotional than me.

My dear old mum died earlier this year. We were very close, she was in her nineties and I loved her very much. I've not shed a tear about her death. She was a very old lady and we had lots of preparation for her death. I cried when my dad died decades ago, but mum had a good very long life and it was her time.

73 years of training and not wishing to let down his mother I imagine

I was perfectly composed when my father died. We weren’t close and while I felt and still feel some sadness, I am also glad that the awful suffering of his final months is over. For months I was waiting for the grief to hit but it never did and I still don’t think I’ve cried once for him.

As others have said, the Queen is not known to have been a particularly close or loving mother to her children, plus they will have been groomed from birth not to show emotion in public. And when it’s your job you just get through it. I supported my friend, who is a vicar, when she officiated the funeral of her husband. Sometimes people get comfort from doing their duty, doing things well as the last gift they can offer the deceased.