How does Charles remain so calm and composed amidst his own grief?

[asblindasabat]

His speech yesterday was excellent.

I know he kinda has to, but how does he just keep going? I don’t know how he didn’t cry doing that speech yesterday.

If it was my parent I don’t think I could do any of it. I think I’d just be a mess.

They’re trained for it in my opinion; I’m sure I read that William and harry were told they weren’t to show emotion/cry in public after Diana died.

I could not figure out why he couldn't use a ballpoint like everyone else.

I saw those old inkwells and thought 'accident waiting to happen'!

Well apparently he took himself off alone to mourn his father and I imagine at his age his own mortality is staring him on the face.

Everyone keeps saying, " for as long as he has ". He's a very emotional man he will definitely be deeply upset. He s very obviously been crying.

A Ball point!

No! Not everyone else does use a ball point!

He’s doing really well but adrenaline will be carrying him through. As others have said, while he will be grieving, the end of a long life well loved and well lived isn’t unexpected and he has Camilla with him, whatever anyone thinks they are clearly an immense support to one another.

A friend lost her husband young. He went on the Saturday night and she was in work on Monday. She was absolutely devastated but thought if she didn't keep up with routine she'd fall to bits.
Another friend lost her mother at Christmas and still made it back to university in January and completed her dissertation on time. I don't know how she did it.

Probably because he knows it's for a short period of time & then he can bugger off and have a cry.

Also if he doesn't look at someone who might "set him off".

Some people aren’t really criers though, DSis never sheds a tear, I’m always a blubbering mess.

I certainly couldn’t have held it together and done a public walkabout after a loved one dying! All those strangers grabbing him, I thought it appalling someone actually kissed him. Consent issue aside, I feel it’s quite poor taste for all these people to make him perform when he’s grieving. No idea how he’s holding it all together.

I was in my 60s and my dad in his 80s when he died. He lived a full life. I'm still crying over losing him 7 years later. I don't think age has anything to do with it. The loss of a parent hits you at any age. And even when they're ill and you know you're going to lose them, it doesn't always soften the shock.
I think that speech was edited. You could see little jumps and I wonder if he teared up from time to time and had to redo bits or have have bits edited out. I dont know why peoole would imply he might not have loved her. It seems very clear from everyone in the family, that she and Philip were very much loved by them all.

He’s holding it in and I expect he’s doing everything his dear mother would want him to. I really hope he gets some time to grieve for her. Some of things that needs doing should be scaled back in future. I really feel for him, when all you want is to grieve in peace. When I lost my parents I just wanted to be alone.

Some people are just capable of holding it together, at least in public.

Last weekend, Jack de Bromhead, the 13 year old son of Irish racehorse trainer Henry de Bromhead, was killed when he fell from his pony during a pony racing meeting in Ireland. Within 24 hours his parents had put out the most beautiful statement about their darling son and on Wednesday they stood up and gave a moving eulogy at his funeral.

How they had the strength to do more than just keep breathing I do not know.

www.racingpost.com/news/latest/our-hearts-are-truly-broken-henry-and-heather-de-bromheads-touching-tribute/577122

www.racingpost.com/news/latest/he-captured-the-hearts-of-not-just-a-parish-but-of-a-nation-and-far-beyond/577679

I don't understand greiving for people in there twilight years.

Really? You can grieve for the loss of someone you love at any age. It doesn't mean that you aren't glad of their long life or recognise it was time for them to go

My DGM was nearly 100. My mum in her late 60s was very upset but composed at her funeral. I cried a lot at the removal (part of the Catholic ceremony held before the funeral Mass, a bit like a wake, where the coffin is closed.)

She had a long life & was well & mentally alert till the end. She was just old. But I loved her & missed her & I cried quite a bit over the following months

It's absolutely normal.

i couldnt cry for my df at the funeral, or before,
not until after the funeral
it is numbness
and he has now become king
very important time

Training, training, training! Bite the inside of your cheek, think about the most mundane, everyday things you can. Plus adrenaline and all the formal rites. Those carry many perfectly ordinary people through the first days, must be +++ when becoming the next monarch.

Of course he can.

But equally he can be upset for the loss of his own mum & may well cry privately. He is also aware of his professional duties & so will remain composed publicly.

It is his job. He is doing his duty. There is no choice, & this is what he has to do.

Self-discipline. Not inflicting your own grief and pain on a bunch of strangers.

@SunsetandCupcakes I'm very sorry about your son.

I think this has been coming for a while . It was clear the Queen was getting weaker so he has adjusted his mind to the realisation that this day was coming soon .

The same way we all have to when we are bereaved... you bite your lip and get on with it because you do my have a choice. The early weeks of grief tend to be periods of high emotion interspersed with periods of shock, numbness and exhaustion - so you don't always feel like crying anyway. I think it's the body's coping mechanism....

I'm sure he's sobbed like a baby in private...

I agree. It’s often the case that being very busy helps in the immediate aftermath of a bereavement then it all hits when things quieten down. Of course, he’s still going to be busy after the funeral.

Sorry for your loss. Your post hit a nerve, I was like this when my dad died I could barely move, just lay around wailing it was agony.

She looks so tired doesn't she and it looks like she's really struggling.

When my mum died there was a lot to do as she died abroad.
I was looking after my dad, my daughter’s birthday party went ahead (long wait for funeral), just before guests arrived my husband started a severe vertigo attack (long term condition) and her younger sister was unwell with spots that didn’t disappear under pressure. She ended up hospitalised with suspected meningitis, only let out the day of the funeral (it wasn’t meningitis). I still had to get my dad to the meeting with the priest to discuss details of the funeral (still don’t know why none of my siblings thought to offer to do in my stead) and write an eulogy. I remember saying to my husband that I could get it all done so long as I didn’t take time out to mourn my mother. I didn’t cry.
Later that year I attended a neighbour’s funeral and had to work really hard not to bawl in the crem chapel as it wasn’t my grief and not appropriate. Tears hit when you don’t expect them to. At the time of immediate bereavement there can be too much else to do.