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Original poster

Crying at the thought of going in tomorrow

113 replies

Butterfly94 · 06/09/2022 22:54

Teacher at a secondary school, very very challenging behaviour in every class. I'm going to be handing my notice in ASAP as I just can't stand going in anymore, and we can't afford the childcare anyway. It's my first day back teaching tomorrow as I work part time, and I'm sat here panicking and crying about the behaviour I'll have to face tomorrow. It's everywhere, SLT are ineffective and the kids run the place. I've lost any ability to control the classes, and my heart absolutely isn't in it. I can't keep going until December and will try to negotiate an early finish. Someone help me feel better about going in tomorrow? I don't want to go to bed as then the morning will come too quickly!

OP posts:
Itwasntright · 06/09/2022 22:59

You need to get yourself signed off sick.

AskAda · 06/09/2022 23:01

Get signed off OP

justusandmoo · 06/09/2022 23:02

☹️ this sounds so tough and you shouldn't have to be so worried. My sister went into teaching and was like this for a long time. So stressed out and basically scared to go in! She's left in the end with no job to go to.

I hope it isn't as bad as you think it will be xx

BitOutOfPractice · 06/09/2022 23:05

My DP just jacked in teaching half way through his nqt year for this exact reason. And an atrociously poor level of support from the SLT too tbh. So I hear you. Is it really worth it?

echobunnies · 06/09/2022 23:05

Oh god where is this? My eldest starts secondary next year and I’m really worried about it. The behaviour at my school growing up was also terrible, I was hoping things had improved.

I second the suggestion to get signed off and use the time to look for other jobs. This is your one life, don’t spend it this unhappy if you can possibly help it.

Original poster
Butterfly94 · 06/09/2022 23:10

Thanks for the replies. The plan is for me to look for part time/evening/weekend work anyway to enable me to be with the kids in the day, so I'm not too worried about getting another job straight away, so that takes the pressure off. It feels stupid to say, but I feel like I'm not allowed to get signed off for stress. It's only the first day back after six weeks off! But it's probably the best suggestion, I cannot bear the thought of driving in tomorrow. DH thinks I should just go through with it as it'll be over soon, but it's so awful I don't think I can. I feel like an absolute failure.

OP posts:
holidaynightmare · 06/09/2022 23:13

How many days do you work?

I'd get your notice put in and the. It's only 6 weeks until half term and another 6 weeks after that for Christmas. It'll fly by but if you really can't stand it going off sick is your best option

IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls · 06/09/2022 23:14

Mental Health Practitioner here 😊

Absolutely get signed off sick until your notice period is done.

You cannot and must not put yourself in that environment.

The soonest you get signed off the sooner you can start back on the road to a better quality of life Flowers

carefullycourageous · 06/09/2022 23:16

You are not a failure Brew

Send in your notice and phone in sick if you need to. Your kids need a functioning mum and you are a valuable person, don't break yourself.

LuluBlakey1 · 06/09/2022 23:17

Why didn't you resign so you could have left at the end of summer term?

Original poster
Butterfly94 · 06/09/2022 23:19

@LuluBlakey1 we got caught out by the fact that DDs free hours at nursery didn't actually knock off as much as we thought it would, and we have DD2 starting aswell. We thought we could just about afford it but we really can't. We're better off if I don't work, which I'm all too happy with for now! So wasn't in a position to put my notice in in May.

OP posts:
watcherintherye · 06/09/2022 23:20

Life’s to short to put yourself through this. How do you feel if you imagine not having to go in tomorrow? Get signed off.

mdh2020 · 06/09/2022 23:29

You must get signed off. I’ve been there and done that. You really shouldn’t be going into school. People just don’t realise how stressful teaching can be.

BlackeyedSusan · 07/09/2022 00:23

You are not doing the kids a favour by going in ill so stop feeling guilty about getting signed off. Teacher guilt is not worth your health.

Bluesbrothers02 · 07/09/2022 00:30

I've been there and it's not worth it! Teaching is tough and not many people understand how much the behaviour wears your down unless you've experienced it. Call in sick in the morning for your mental health and phone your doctor. Please take care and remember it's just a job, you and your family are more important.

GorillaTape · 07/09/2022 00:48

Just hand your notice in, say you need to quit asap.

They can hire for anyone teacher, lots of NQT about.

what are they going to do…. Ummm breach of contract?

ThirtyThreeTrees · 07/09/2022 01:14

Your mental health is one of the most important things in life. Mind it and protect it.

Talk to GP and get signed off sick.

Your responsibility is to you and your family, not an incompetent SLT.

honkeytonkwoman38 · 07/09/2022 01:22

My DH is a teacher with 20 years plus teaching experience in pupil referral units and now a school in the most deprived area in Leeds and he has found pupil behaviour this year to be the worst and it's impacted his MH so god knows how new teachers are managing. They clearly aren't.

EnidSpyton · 07/09/2022 02:00

Call in sick tomorrow, call your GP to get signed off, then hand your notice in and say you would like to negotiate an early release as your MH is making it impossible for you to do your job.

If the school advertise for a replacement immediately they can most probably get someone in by half term or even earlier.

As a fellow secondary teacher who has now left the classroom for a career break I can tell you that suffering on for longer than you know you should takes a huge toll. I did one more year than I should have and it almost broke me.

Please always remember it’s just a job. They can’t do anything to you if you don’t go in tomorrow. If you wake up in the morning and just can’t face it, call in sick and start the process of getting signed off and getting out of there.

Best of luck with it all.

Flatandhappy · 07/09/2022 02:49

That sounds awful. You are not a failure, I agree with everyone else that you need to get yourself signed off sick and not go back, your MH is precious.

Cherryana · 07/09/2022 03:01

Looking after yourself and being a failure are incompatible. To recognise your pain, listen to it and act is very brave.

You are responsible for you, as an unwell ‘you’ is much more detrimental for your family. You really matter.

waltzingparrot · 07/09/2022 03:07

Would online tutoring suit you?

Biscuitandacuppa · 07/09/2022 03:14

I work in a secondary school as a TA and I know some teachers who have left and then signed up with an agency to do cover supply. That might be an idea for you too once your dc are settled into a nursery/school setting. Some of them have then used the opportunity to scope out the best school for them in terms of management and behaviour before applying for posts in their preferred school. Others have done cover and private tutoring and I know of other teachers that have gone into education, pastoral care or moved fields entirely. Your skills from teaching are sought after in other industries but for now you need a break and to put yourself first. If you can’t face it tomorrow then ring in sick, speak to your GP and be kind to yourself.

EVHead · 07/09/2022 03:25

I knew you’d be a teacher before I even clicked on your thread. 😔

I echo what others have said - don’t put yourself through this. The pandemic has been stressful for everyone and its effect on children is becoming clear. The job demands too much of teachers.

wellobviouslyyoucan · 07/09/2022 03:37

This is very unprofessional and I don't condone it as such but, as you are feeling like this, just done go in!

Contact them and say that due to your emotional well-being you are unable to return. Advise them that the alternative is for you to be signed off with stress, but you do not intend to do this as it would be unfair on the school as they will have to continue to pay you.

In other words, make it sound like you're doing them a favour in the long term!