Crying at the thought of going in tomorrow

[Butterfly94]

Teacher at a secondary school, very very challenging behaviour in every class. I'm going to be handing my notice in ASAP as I just can't stand going in anymore, and we can't afford the childcare anyway. It's my first day back teaching tomorrow as I work part time, and I'm sat here panicking and crying about the behaviour I'll have to face tomorrow. It's everywhere, SLT are ineffective and the kids run the place. I've lost any ability to control the classes, and my heart absolutely isn't in it. I can't keep going until December and will try to negotiate an early finish. Someone help me feel better about going in tomorrow? I don't want to go to bed as then the morning will come too quickly!

I have a couple of theories as to why behaviour is getting worse.

1. SLT are getting younger and younger and more and more inexperienced as the years go by. I blame Teach First and the proliferation of Academy Chains, who employ young graduates with degrees from quote unquote prestigious universities, make them believe they’re going to be Michelle Pfieffer out of Dangerous Minds by blazing into schools with all their pointless pedagogical theories learnt off the twats on edutwitter, and then when they prove to be utterly useless in the classroom, rapidly promote them to SLT. As they are young, up themselves, and totally lacking in any teaching or management experience, they hide in their offices all day and have no presence around school, or any respect from students. Experienced teachers who know what they’re doing leave in their droves because they can’t bear to be managed by these idiots, and so the schools fill up with impressionable young NQTs who, without any support from experienced teachers, can’t cope and are walked all over by the kids. Who know there are no consequences, because the SLT are useless.
2. A lot of parents have no respect for teachers or education and tell their kids that they’ll sort the teacher out for them the minute they ask them to do something they don’t like.

Schools have been destroyed by trying to make them into businesses (academy chains) and by attempting to create essentially fast track promotion to SLT through graduate schemes (Teach first). Teaching is a craft that takes time to develop. Over ten years I’ve become a better teacher as I’ve matured and been able to bring that emotional and experiential intelligence into my relationships with my students, parents and colleagues. Obviously I’ve also become better as I’ve practised and been able to see over several cycles of students what works and what doesn’t. Allowing a 22 year old graduate who’s spent 9 months on the job to be a Head of Department or Head of Year or Assistant Head or whatever is why the rot is setting in. They may in time become good at their job but they’ll do a lot of damage before that happens.

Experienced teachers who know what they’re doing leave in their droves because they can’t bear to be managed by these idiots, and so the schools fill up with impressionable young NQTs who, without any support from experienced teachers, can’t cope and are walked all over by the kids

Exactly why l got out. I left at 56. I just couldn’t beat some 26 year old telling me how to teach.🙄

So the doctor has said they can't sign me off sick 🤔but she can give me pills. Great! She told me to talk to work and see what they can do..which I doubt is going to be much? I think I'll give it a week and try calling back. In the meantime I'll hand my notice in and see if they'll let me go early at all. It's the hardest job in the world when your heart isn't in it!

As awful as it is for you, and I absolutely believe what you're saying and how it's affecting your mental health. But I am also slightly relieved (for want of a better word) that GP isn't just signing you off the first time you tell them how bad it is. Unfortunately, the system is rife for abuse and people using "sick leave" as a way to get off work. Again, I'm not suggesting for one second that it's what you're doing, but I have been on the receiving end of abuse of the system, and it's not fair on people who genuinely need it.

Whereabouts in the county are you? I work for a tutoring company that has teams across the country in various locations. I joined them quite soon after leaving secondary (had been a HOD - taught for 12 years) and have now been in my current post for 7 years - it’s such an easier job. I work 1:1 or 2:1 (2 teachers) and you can choose your days. It’s good money but the only snag is no pay during holidays. However, I just put aside enough to get through the holidays. If you want, I can PM you their details.

How disgraceful that you should be told to take pills to deal with the terrible behaviour of others. I never understand this attitude from doctors.

I would seriously look into tutoring though. You could charge quite a lot per hour depending on subject.

Thank God I'm out of it

@Butterfly94
Huge sympathy, I'm an ex teacher. You sound like an excellent teacher who really cares about the children.

Speak to another doctor, don't minimise how you feel. Describe the worst thoughts you have, on the worst day.

It is very important to take time off to recover, and give yourself space to think what you would do. Use the sick leave that teachers have fought to have to give yourself a space in time. Be wary of resigning too soon, you can always resign in time, if it is right for you.

If you are a member of an union give them a ring for advice.

Jobs like this can erode your mental health severely. Dont feel guilty! You owe it to yourself and the family to look after yourself.
Take care

@Blabla81 I'm in Portsmouth, that sounds very good!

@rnsaslkih that's exactly what I thought - if I have to take pills to enable me to go into work, then that says it all!

Another one saying get signed off. I was for five months and then left teaching.

Oh and speak to your union before you resign. See what they can negotiate for you as an exit package.

I’m sure it’s fine for me to post the company on here - it’s the National Teaching and Advisory Service www.ntas.org.uk/recruitment

Their head office is in Cheshire but I’m based in Cambs / Norfolk. Worth having a look at where your local team is and getting in touch.

My friend left teaching when she was punched in the face by a 13 year old girl, who she was then expected to teach three days later.

Despite the face that this wasn't her first offence by a long mile, it didn't meet the requirements for the girl to be expelled.

Teachers aren't kept safe at work.

Yes, this.

I also thoroughly second everything written by EnidSpyton.

So sorry to read what your doctor said to you, OP.

Got every sympathy. I work in early years, we just lost a very challenging cohort for behaviour and SEN. No funding for one to one for the challenging children as we are the ones putting the initial EHCP through and the funding doesn't usually arrive until it is finalised and they start school.

Was really looking forward to our new cohort as no severe SEN needs in the group. Looking forward to doing all the fun things, nice outings etc and we have had a high needs new child join the group. Tipping resources everywhere, screaming, kicking, hitting. Not thr child's fault but I'm so exhausted from the last cohort and not sure I have the stamina or patience for another high needs child.

Haven’t even read this post yet, just about to.. but how strange two posts on the top trending this morning were both teachers and now here’s another one. I’m on anxiety medication due to teaching and desperately trying to escape.. okay I’m away to read it now 😂

Try to negotiate an early exit OP. If they think you are likely to be off on sick leave they will probably allow you to leave at halfterm even though you've just missed the deadline. Your priority is you and your family and you are currently paying to be at work and have your mental health destroyed.
But, all the posters saying 'they will easily get someone, lots of NQTs around' are very naive. There are not enough teachers. We are all covering in our PPA time because we haven't been able to appoint.
The OP going off sick or leaving (and this isnt to say she shouldn't, she needs to) will then unavoidably put more pressure on colleagues who will have to cover, they will then crack under the pressure, even less teachers... and so on.
Until schools get sorted out properly this is what will keep happening to teachers.

Firstly, I’m actually glad to see that on the whole the comments on here are in support of you/teachers for once. It’s not often that happens on here!

I am taking pills on the way to work, literally in the car on the way there I take beta blockers to cope with my work-related anxiety. I returned from mat leave in the summer too and had to phone the doctor for more pills just before I started back, tragic. I feel like my confidence gets lower and lower as time goes on and I am constantly on edge the whole time I’m at work in case I’ve done something ‘wrong’ and ‘get into trouble’ from SLT. I can’t do it anymore. We’re now thinking about having another baby next year and I feel like I’m in a position where I would need to risk the health of my unborn baby by taking medication while pregnant, just to be able to go to work. I don’t want to do that. I’m doing myself out of maternity pay by leaving which I’ve worked out is £7500. Where I live you don’t have to pay it back but I just can’t stay any longer, I can’t. All these things about mental health, teaching the children about mental health, looking after themselves etc while I’m popping pills on the way to work just to get through the day 😑 I need to quit!

Join exit the classroom and thrive on Facebook - it completely changed my perspective on everything!

Definitely speak to your union but also try speaking to a different GP. The first GP I spoke to about my MH problems just said “oh I do feel sorry for you” and that was it, the second one listened, asked relevant questions, decided I was very, very ill and signed me off for 2 weeks initially and then 4 weeks at a time after that

Check out this Facebook group:

www.facebook.com/groups/LifeAfterTeachingExitTheClassroomAndThrive/?ref=share

I actually haven't left, but was very close to it 5 years ago after being injured by a pupil in a school where behaviour was beyond appalling, and all SLT did was blame the teachers. I ended up with chronic pain as a result or my injury, and could no longer deal with the stress as made the pain flare up more. I left and did supply, and then ended up never leaving one amazing school, where I still am.

That Facebook group is really interesting tho, makes me feel less alone in my awful experiences, and also gives me hope that if I do leave teaching there are other jobs I could do!

l do sympathise with your situation but there are also many thousands of secondary students also absolutely dreading going into school everyday. They don' t have the option of getting signed off or medication even though they are suffering anxiety and panic disorders. They are expected just to get on with it.
School has become a toxic enviroment and l am so glad both of mine are out of it.

Your situation sounds really hard and your doctor sounds unsympathetic. I’d hand your notice in and negotiate an early release from your contract. School will more than likely agree as it means they can look for somebody else straight away rather than paying for supply and all the hassle that comes with it.
I’m also a teacher and luckily still love the job. All schools are not the same, there are still great ones out there that look after their staff. It might be worth not ruling teaching out in the future if you can find a good school.

I was in a very different situation, but I felt the same way and went through Occupational Health. I can't say that they offered me any constructive advice I hadn't worked out myself, but it did pressure the school into a change of heart.

I would say, go back and see how it is because normally things are better in September, and you can establish clear ground rules, but it sounds as if you've been there a while and things are not likely to be any different.

You can self certificate this week, so get yourself an appointment with a GP who is likely to listen and understand if that's at all possible. If not, could you talk to someone at school - personally I couldn't and managed everything by email, but it's all quicker in person.

Lastly, get in touch with your regional union office and ask for a representative to negotiate with the school for you. It's what you pay subs for - they can make it almost painless.

@EnidSpyton That is exactly why my daughter has just left teaching

@Moonface123 what a strange post - and simply not true. Many thousands of secondary school pupils are currently absent from school, they aren’t all “just getting on with it”. I don’t understand your correlation of the two. Unhelpful.